Pyaar tera bhula na paunga

1 chinti taxi me baithi aur ek leg bahar rakhi.

Driver – mam, pair ander rakho.

Chinti – raste me hathi mile to use lat marni hai. Kal mujhe aankh mar raha tha kamina….

Pyaar tera bhula na paunga,

Me hun pardeshi laut aaunga,

Message to tere delete kar diye maine,

Lekin teri yaadein kahan chhupunga…..

Girl friend- what can u do for me?

Boy – everything.

Gf – can u leave ur parents for me?

Boy – sorry dear, I cann’t  leave my old God for a new Temple….

Kuchh pane ke liye kuchh khona padta hai,

Muskurane ke liye rona bhi padta hai,

Yun hi nahin ho jata hai savera,

Subah dekhane ke liye raat bhar sona bhi padta hai….

Kitne chehare hain duniya me,

Magar humko ek chehara najar aata hai,

Duniya ko ab hum kya yaad karein,

Aapki yaadon me waqt sara nikal jata hai….

Kar sitam kitne bhi mujh per,

Iss dil me dhadkan tere naam ki hogi,

Khwaeesh to adhuri hai bahut magar-

Akhiri khwaeesh tere didar ki hogi…..

Muskaan ban jata hai koi,

Dil ki dhadkan ban jata hai koi,

Kaise jiye ek pal bhi unke bina,

Jab zindgi jeene ki bajah ban jata hai koi…..

Har inayat har khushi aapki ho,

Mehak utho wo mehfil jahan hassi aapki ho,

Koi bhi lamha aapka udaas na ho,

Khuda kare jannat jaise zindgi aapki ho…

Teacher :- Netaji aapka beta fail ho gaya hai aur, aap laddu khila rahe hain.

Netaji :- 70 ladkon ki class me 60 fail hain, bahumat to mere bête ke sath hai…..

Insane apna chehara sajata hai,

Jis per logon ki nazar hoti hai,

Magar-

Dil ko sajane ki koshish nahin karta,

Jis per khuda ki nazar hoti hai….

Bikhare rishton ko koi roop de do,

Khilte phoolon ko koi dhoop de do,

Aapki yaad aayi toh SMS kiya humne,

Aap bhi humari yaad aane ka koi sabut de do..

Nazar me aapke nazarein rahenge,

Palkon pe chaand sitare rahenge,

Badal jaaye ye zamana,

Khuda kasam hum to hamesha aapke rahenge…..

Rich friend travels in Cars,

Poor friend travels in Buses,

But, sweet friend travels in my Heart,

Please continue your Journey in my Heart….

Jagti aankhon mein bhi khwab hote hain,

Zaroori nahin ki gham me aansu nikale,

Muskurati aankhon me bhi sailab hote hain….

Dear friend’s your dreaming time has been expired,

So please leave your bed,

Open your eyes,

And see your mobile,

I wish you a good morning….

Heart is not a basket for keeping Tension and Sadness,

It’s a golden box for keeping roses of happiness….

Let your heart be happy always..

A caring friend doesn’t  call or speak,

He makes it with a simple SMS,

Because it doesn’t  speaks from mouth,

It speaks directly from the heart…..

Zara si zindgi aur arman bahut hain,

Humdard nahin koi, insane bahut hain;

Dil ka dard sunaye to kisko,

Jo dil ke karib hain , wo anjan bahut hain…

Paas aapke duniya ka har sitara ho,

Door aapse ghum ka kinara ho,

Jab bhi aapki palkein jhapke,

Samane wahi ho jo-

Aapko duniya me sabse pyaara ho.

Good morning..

Santa & banta ke beech fight ho rahi thi.

Santa :- saale me tere kapade phad dunga.

Banta :- dekh serious ladai me romantic baat mat kar…

Understanding a girl is like---

Downloading a 1GB file with 2kbps speed—

And when –

You have downloaded 95%,

You will get an error…..

My name is I,

My problem is LOVE,

My solution is YOU,

When they get together “I”,

Get “YOUR LOVE”,

I say---

“I LOVE YOU”…..

1 Tree makes 1 lakh matchstics,

1 matchstic  can burn 1 lakh trees,

So 1(-ve) negative thought can burn 1000’s of dreams.

Good night….

Chahat per aitbaar na raha,

Khushi kya hai ye ehsaas na raha,

Dekha hai in aankhon ne  toote sapno ko,

Isliye ab mujhe kisi ka intezaar na raha….

Chirag jalebi bech raha tha,

Magar keh raha tha- aalu lelo aalu.

Ankit :- are ye jalebi hai.

Chirag :- chup ho ja yaar , warna makhiyan aa jayengi….

Samundar ke liye wo lehrein hi kya,

Jiska ka koi kinara na ho,

Taro ke liye wo raat kya,

Jisme chaand na ho,

Humare liye wo din hi kya,

Jis me dost ki yaad na ho…

Pyaar me Insan kya kya nahin kerta,

Zindgi bhi uske naam kar deta hai,

Kismet wale hote hain wo log,

Jinhe barbad hue bina sab kuchh mil jata hai….

DEVDAS of 2011 :-

Maa ne kaha Facebook chhor do.

Abba ne kaha Night Pack chhor do.

Doston ne kaha Mobile se Balance churana chhod do.

Paaro ne kaha DEW peena chhor do.

Aur ek Din aayega-

Jab Girlfriend ke Bachche kahenge:-

“Mamu, ab to humari Ammi ka Peechha chhor do…….

Zindgi hasin hai isse Pyaar karo,

Hai Raat to Subah ka Intezaar karo,

Wo pal bhi aayega jiska Intezaar hai,,

Bas Rab per bharosa aur Waqt per Aitbaar karo…….

Dard jitna saha jaaye utna hi sahna,

Kisike dil ko jo lag jaaye wo baat na kehna,

Milte hain hum jaise log bahut kam,

So humse kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna……

Har Subah ki Dhoop kuchh Yaad dilate hai,

Har Phool ki khushboo 1 Jaadu jagati hai,

Chaho na chaho kitna bhi yaar,

Subah hote hi –

Aapki yaad aa hi jaati hai…

Good Morning……

Sugar se dosti Diabities ka khatra,

Paise se dosti Tax ka khatra,

Liquor se dosti LIVER ka khatra,

Aur hum se dosti-

Waqt-be-Waqt SMS ka khatra…..

Raat aati hai Sitarein lekar,

Neend aati hai Sapne lekar,

Humari dua hai-----

Kal ki subah aaye aapke liye-

Bahut sari khshiyaan lekar.

Good N8.

Wife :- mere iraade bade nake hain. Aap 1000 me se 1 hain.

Husband :- dimag ke hum bhi Don hain. Bewafa pehle ye to  bata ki baaki ke 999 kaun hain….

Dard ne palkon per sajaya mujhe,

Zindgi kya hai ye bataya  mujhe,

Jab bhi Dil me Hasane ki Tamanna jaagi,

Meri Taqdeer ne khoob Rulaya mujhe……

Hi, My Name is NIGHT.

I came here to kidnap ur Stress kill ur Strain.

My Weapon is Sleep.

My Path is Dream.

So please kindly co-operate Handover  them. Good N8…

Chand per hai Light,

Bole to ho gayi hai Night,

To band karne ka Tube-light,

Aur so jaane ka keep quite,

Bole to wo Sweet-Dream wala Good Night…..

Aaj bhi ek sawal hai Dil me,

Pyaar ka ghum bemusar hai Dil me,

Kuchh keh nahin pata ye Dil magar,

Kisi ke liye bahut Pyaar hai is Dil me…

Insaan ki 5 MAA hoti hain. :----

1)      Apni  MAA,

2)      Nani  MAA,

3)      Dadi  MAA,

4)      Sasu  MAA,

5)      Aur ek wo jiske bare me MAA raat ko kehti hai, 12 baje teri kaun si MAA ka phone aata hai…..

Hum achchhe sahi per log kharab kehte hain,

Bigda hua hume nawab kehte hain,

Hum to aise badnaam hue is sahar me,

Ki Paani bhi piye to log use SARAB kehte hain…..

Pati :- Sammohan kya hota hai?

Patni :- kisi aadmi ko apne prabhav se vasibhut karke use man chaha kaam kara lena.

Pati :- are , use to SHAADI kehte hai….

Teacher : - who was AKBAR ?

BOY :- AKBAR was GAY.

TEACHER (SHOCKED) :- WHY?

BOY :- We have heard. ----

Laila-Majnu.

Heeer-Ranjha.

Adam-Eve.

Soni-Mahibal.

And only AKBAR-BIRBAL……

Band aankhon se rone ka maza kuchh aur hai

Chirag – tum bike itni tez kyon chala rahe ho?

Ankit :- ye letter urgent dena hai.

Chirag :- kahan?

Ankit :- address padhane ka time nahin hai.

Chirag :- ok go..

Unse milkar bichhadna to dusbar ho gaya,

Yaadon me unki dilazbur ho gaya,

Kasur nahin isme kuchh bhi unka,

Hamari chahat hi itni thi ki unhe gurur ho gaya….

Sirf do kadam door per kinara hoga,

Socho kitna khoobsurat ye nazara hoga,

Bas dil jo kahe use dil se karna,

Fir dekhna jo sochoge wo tumhara hoga…

Kabhi mere aanshu mujhse sawal karte hain,

Aap kyon usko itna pyaar kerte hain,

Jisko khabar hi nahin hai in aanshuao ki,

Uske liye kyon hume barbad kerte hain…

New style of love letter.

To,

The Janeman,

I love you,

Sub :- Application for love,

Jaan,

I beg to say that I’m  a student of your Heart. I’m mad for your love & to enter in your Heart. I can’t live without you.

    So please, I kindly request to grant me LOVE. For which I shall remain ever  Love t o you.

Thank you

Your jaaneman – aapka  P_P_

Class – love affair.

Roll no. :- 143….

Shaadi ki party me dj ne puchha :-  kab tak bajana hai.

Host :- 8-10 peg tak baja lo, uske baad toh ye sab generator ki awaz par bhi naach lenge…

Kabhi ek lamha aisa bhi aata hai,

Jisme beeta hua kal nazar aata hai,

Bas yaadein reh jaati hai yaad kern eke liye,

Aur waqt sab kuchh leke guzar jata hai….

Dil ke zakhmo pe mat ro mere yaar,

Waqt har zakhm ka marham hota hai,

Dil se jo sachcha pyaar kerta hai,

Uska to khuda bhi diwana hota hai…

Santa :- (ladki ko chhedte hue), hor soniye ki hal hai?

Ladki :- (gusse me), jo teri behan ka hai.

Santa :- (hass kar), wo to pregenent hai…

Ssas :- aaj se mujhe maa aur sasur ko papa kehna.

Bahu :- samajh gayi.

Sham ko pati ghar aaya to boli :- ma, bhaiya ghar aa gaye…

Samajh saka na koi mere dil ko,

Ye dil yun hi nadan reh gaya,

Mujhe koi gham nahin is baat ka,

Afsos hai ki mera yaar bhi mujhse anjan reh gaya….

Har subah teri muskurati rahe,

Kirne jaise aangan ko roushan kare,

Tarange yun hi dil me jagmagati rahe,

Tujhe meri, mujhe teri;

Yun hi yaad aati rahe,

Good morning…

Hume aapse koi sikwa nahin,

Sayad humari kismet me aapki chahat nahin,

Mere takdir ko likh kar khuda bhi mukar gaya,

Puchha to bola-

Ye mera likhawat hi nahin…

E jiski khatir mohabbat ki har had se gujar gaya,

Wo aaj mujhse puchhti hai—

Sach batao, mera NUMBER tumhe kahan se mila….

Boy- tum gana bahut achhi gati ho.

Girl – thanx, but I’m just a bathroom singer.

Boy- to bulao na kabhi apne live show me…

kya khoob hun me diwana unka,

jo har waqt unki hi tamanna karta hun.

Ye raaz hume malum hai ki-

Wo kisi aur se pyaar kerti hain……

Me ek gunah har baar kerta hun,

Har sajde me use hi yaad kyon kerta hun,

Ae khuda agar wo bani hi nahin mere liye,

To me use itna pyaar kyon karta hun….

Dua me labon per apna naam rekhna,

Nigahon me apni wahi andaaz rekhna,

Dena chahte ho agar khushiyan hume,

To---

Khush rehna aur apna khyal rekhna,

Good morning…

Bina jane pehchane ikraar na kijiye,

Dil ko apne yun bekarar na kijiye,

Phool bhi de sakte hain dard gahra,

Her phool par yun aitbaar na kijiye….

Rekh sako to ek nisaani hun me,

Bhool jao to ek kahani hun me,

Khushi kid hoop ho ya—

Ghum ke badal,

Dono me barse wo paani hun me…

Me-

Har lamhe me ek kitaab,

Har  kitaab me ek sawal,

Har sawal me ek jawab,

Har jawab me ek sapna,

Har sapne me ek arman,

Har arman me ke yaad,

Aur har yaad me sirf—

AAP…..

Pyaar me insaan kya kya nahin kerta,

Zindgi bhhi uske naam kar deta hai,

Kismet wale hote hain wo log,

Jinhe barwaad hue bina sab kuchh mil jata hai…

1 nayi si subah chura ke laya hun,

Dil me ek naya ehsaas bharne aaya hun,

Nind ki khamoshi me jot um lipte hue ho,

Tumhe pyaar se jagane aaya hin,

Good morning…

Santa :- 1 kilo gay ka dhoodh do.

Banta :- bartan chhota hai, nahin aayega.

Santa :- to bakeri ka de do…

Kareeb rehkar wo hume pehchaan na paayen,

Aaj tak wo hume jaan na paaye,

Khud hi bana li humse dooriyan,

Taki unpe koi ilzaam na aaye….

Mere gale me tumhari baahein hai,

Tumhare hothon per mere labon ke saye hain,

Mujhe yakin hai hum ab kabhi na bichhdenge,

Tumhe guman hai ki hum mil ke bhi paraye hain….

Baahon me bhar ker sula dun tujhko,

Aa khud me aaj chhupa lun tujhko,

Bhari duniya me mujhsa na milega koi,

Aa aisa ek ahsaas dila dun tujhko…

Kitne chehre hain duniya me,

Magar humko ek chehra nazar aata hai,

Duniya ko ab hum kya yaad kare,

Aapki yaadon me waqt saara guzar jata hai..

Na jane wo mujhse muskura ke milte hain,

Andar ke saare ghum chhupa ke milte hain,

Janta hun aankhein sach bolti hain,

Isliye nazarein jhuka ke milte hain…

Jab khuda ne banayi hogi ye duniya,

Toh mera khayal bhi jaroor aaya hoga,

Kahin reh na jaun me akela,

Tabhi to aap jaisa pyaara sa dost banaya hoga…

Sirf do kadam door per kinara hoga,

Socho kitna khubshurat ye nazara hoga,

Bas dil jo kahe use dil se karna,

Fir dekhna jo sochoge wo tumhara hoga…

Sonu recharge karwane gaya.

Dukandaar :- kitne ka?

Sonu :- 10 ka.

Dukandaar :- 7Rs. Ka talktime milega.

Sonu :- to Rs. 3 ki toffee  de  do…

Kid :- daddy, ye school kia hota hai?

Daddy :- ye wo jagah hai, jahan parents ko loota aur bachchon ko koota jata hai…

Santa apne bête se :- kya me tumhari padhne me help karun.

Beta :- nahin dad, me bina apki help ke hi fail hona chahta hun…

Girl :- I love you dear.

Boy :- different style me purpose karo.

Girl :- teri laash ko aag lagane ka chance mere bête ko dega ki nahin…

Apni aankhon me sama lo,

Apne dil me mera ghar bana lo,

Ae jaan kya karun dil kahin aur lagta nahin,

Pyaar me apse dil lagan eke baad….

Kis kadar mujhko satate ho tum,

Bhul jane per bhi yaad aate ho tum,

Jab bhi khuda se kuchh mangta hun,

Mere dil ki dua ban jaate ho tum…

Software engineers film banayenge to Naam kya hoga?—

1)      Munna Bhai c++

2)      Kabhi CD Kabhi Floppy

3)      Hamara Mouse Aapke Paas Hai

4)      Software Mil Gaya….

Pyaar ki kabhi numaish na kerna,

Wafa ki kabhi aazmaish na karna,

Maangoge jaan to wo bhi hum de denge,

Bas kabhi judai ki farmaish na karna….

Aankhon me khushi labon pe hansi ho,

Ghum ka kahin naam na ho,

Aapko jahan ki saari khushiyan mile,

Aur un khushiyon ki koi sham na ho….

Bhulenge wo bhulna jinka kaam hai,

Meri to doston ke bina gujarti nahin sham hai,

Kaise bhulun me unko,

Jo meri zindgi ka doosara naam hai…

Golu to Molu :- yaar, har pati ke liye Patni ka hona kyon jaruri hai?

Molu :- kyonki wo har kaam ke liye Government ko doshi nahin tahra sakti…

Chehare ki muskan ban jata hai koi,

Dil ki dhadkan ban jata hai koi,

Fir kaise jiyenge zindgi unke bin,

Jab zindgi jine ki pehchan ban jata hai koi…..

31 states, 1618 languages, 6400 castes, 6 religion, 6 ethic groups, 29 major festivals & 1 country, we proud  to be an INDIAN….

Banta : - what’s the similarity between marriage & 11:59pm?

Santa : - dono ke baad 12 bajte hain and din badal jata hai…

Paas aapke duniya ka har sitara ho,

Door aapse ghum ka kinara ho,

Jab bhi aapki palkein jhupke,

Samane wahi ho-

Jo aapka duniya me sabse pyaara ho……

Santa : - jab me mar jaun. To samane wale ghar ki family ko zarur bulana.

Banta :- kyon?

Santa :- yar unke ghar ki ladkiyan bahut lipat-lipat kar roti hain…

Ur sms is my Gulab jamun,

Ur miss call is my Rasmalai,

Ur call is my Rasgulla,

So-

Please always keep my sweet dish box full.

I am waiting for the sweets….

24 sweet hours make 1 sweet day.

7 sweet days make 1 sweet week.

But, I sweet person like youmake the whole like sweet…..

Boy :- janeman tu mera dil jala di jala ke rakh kar di.

Girl :- teri qurbani bekar nahin jayegi, bhej de rakh; bartan maanjane ke kaam aayenge…..

Jane kab wo rishta ban gaya,

Koi anjani jane kab apna ban gayi,

Hume ehsaas bhi na hua aur-

Koi humari zindgi ki zarurat ban gayi…..

Santa :- tum gale ki zanjir kyon kheench rahe ho?

Banta :- subah se zanjir kheench raha hun, per train ruk hi nahin rahi…

Santa :- me aur meri patni 20b saal se khush the.

Banta :- fir kya hua?

Santa :- fir kya, ek din hum mil gaye….

Teri  haya mera diwanapan,

Teri khushbu mera ehsaas rahe,

Teri  bahon me mera sahil ho,

Teri hathon me mera hath rahe,…..

Aankhon me agar ruk jaate hain aanshu,

Palkon me aake tut jaate hain aanshu,

Dil karta hai baha dun inhe,

Par tumko hasta dekh such jaate hain aanshu…

Meethi meethi yaadein palkon me saja lena,

Sath gujare pal ko dil me basa lena,

Nazar naa aun dil me agar,

Muskurakar mujhe sapno me bula lena……

Sardar train ki patari per so gaya. 1 aadmi bola- train aayegi to mar jaayega.

SardaR-   abbey abhi plane upper se gaya to kuchh nahin hua, tab train kya ukhaad legi?

Band aankhon se rone ka maza kuchh aur hai,

Aanshu bane lafz aur lafz bane ghajal,

Us ghajal me aapke hone ka maza kuchh aur hai….

Dil me baj rahe hain taar tere naam ke

 Bikhare rishton ko koi roop de do,

Khilte foolon ko thodi dhup de do,

Aapki yaad aayi to sms kiya humne,

Ab aap yaad aane ka koi sabut de do..

Har koi mohabbat me fana nahin hota,

Kisi ko chahana koi gunah nahin hota,

Log puchhte hain tum kitna pyaar karte ho unse,

Wo kya jaane pyaar kabhi lafzon me wyaan nahin hota….

Aarju-e-safar ka jab humne irada  kiya,

Sath chalane ka usne wada kiya,

Kuchh usko raas na aayin wafa ki baatein,

Kuchh aitbar humne bhi jyada kiya….

Lotus born for water,

Rose born for beauty,

Jasmine born for smile,

You born for me, and

I born for you,

But-

We both born for LOVE….

Samajha do apni yaadon ko,

Wo bin bulaye pas aaya karti hain,

Aap to dur rehkar satate ho,

Wo pas aakar rulaya karti hai….

Zamane me agar ishq na hota to,

Aashiq ka duniya me naam na hota,

Kaat diye hath un mazdooron ke,

Nahin to mere paas bhi TAJMAHAL hota…

Aaj kal har saqs hume zindgi kaise jiye sikha jata hai,

Unhe koun samajhaye,

Ek khwab humara bhi adhura hai,

Barna humse behtar jina kise aata hai…

Dosti ki hai kasam kabhi bhulana nahin apna ghum,

Kabhi humse chhupana nahin,

Jitna bhi satana hai, sata lo lekin-

Is rishte ko kabhi mitana mat…

Bhid me tha, won a ro saki hogi;

Magar yakin hai, subah tak na so saki hogi;

Wo saqs jise samajhane me mujhe umar lag gaya,

Bichhad ke mujhse kisi ka na ho saki hogi…

Santa :- phone per itni dhimi awaaz me kisse bat kar raha hai?

Banta :- sister se.

Santa :- to fir itni dhimi awaaz kyon?

Banta :- sister teri hai..

Aankhein thak gayi intezaar me,

Waqt ne loota hume bhare bazaar me,

Kyon nahin aayi wo milne,

Hum me kami thi ya-

Humare pyaar me…

Girl :- “I LOVE YOU”.

Boy :- me bhi tumhe “I LOVE YOU” bolun to  kya karogi?

Girl :- khushi se mar jaungi.

Boy :- ja nahin kehta “I LOVE YOU” , ji le apni zindgi….

Best dosti ek kitab ki tarah hai,

Wo kitni bhi purani ho jaye,

Per uske alfaaz nahin badalenge,

Kabhi yaad aaye to panne palat ke dekh lena,

Hum kal jaise the, waise hi milenge…

Ghum wo jo aanshu la sake,

Khushi wo jog hum bhula sake,

Hume to chahiye bas aapki itni si dosti ,

Jo humare marne per aapki aankhon me paani la sake…

Aanshu hai kismet me,

Khushi ki aas kar saku,

Ye dil ko gawara nahin,

Ab bhi tarasti hai aankhein,

Dekhne us ujale ko,

Jis per ab haq humara nahin…

Kar sitam kitni bhi mujh per,

Is dil me dhadkan tere naam ki hogi,

Khwahish to adhuri hai bahut,

Magar aakhiri khwahish teri deedar ki hogi…

Us waqt meri halat ko dekh kar aasman bhi ro pada,

Ae doston,

Jab ladkiyon ke numbers se bhari hui sim gum ho gayi…

Boy to girl :- do u hug your Teddy Bear while sleeping at Night?

Girl :- yes.

Boy :- can I replace it for the rest of your life?

Hume aapse koi sikwa nahin,

Sayad humari kismet me aapki chahat nahin,

Mere taqdir ko likh kar khuda bhi mukar gaya,

Puchha to bola ye mera likhabat nahin….

Zindgi ko tanha virano me rehne do,

Ye wafa ki baatein khyalon me rehne do,

Haqiqat me aazmane se toot jate hain dil,

Ye ishq mohabbat kitabon me rehne do….

Taqdir banana wale,

Tune bhi bhi had kar di,

Taqdeer me kisi aur ka naam likha, aur-

Dil me chahat kisi aur ki bhar di…..

Apano ki tarah saja ke rakhun,

Duniya se chupa ke rakhun,

Mere taqdir me tera sath nahin,

Warna tujhe apna khuda banake rakhun….

Un patharon se kya shikwa,

Jo hum per barse teri galiyon me ,

Hume to shikayat tere labon se hai,

Jo aah  bhi na bhar sake…

Udaas na hona , kyonki me aapke liye khas hun;

Samane na sahi, per aas paas hun;

Palkon ko band kar jab dil me jhankoge,

Me har pal aapke sath hi nazar aaunga..

A smile is like a Sim Card, and-

Life is like a Cellphone,

Whenever  you insert the sim card of a smile,

A beautiful day is activated…

Good morning…

Dil me baj rahe hain taar tere naam ke,

Aankhon me hai sitare tere naam ke,

Meri taraf mudkar to dekho,

Tum bin hum nahin hai kisi kaam ke…

Teacher :- 1 saal me kitni rate hoti hai?

Smart Santa :-  10 raatein hoti hai.

Teacher :- kaise?

Santa :- 9 navratri, aur 1 shivratri….

WO Ek aansoo girne ki bajah bhi puchhta tha

Wo to aisa tha ki-

Ek aansoo girne ki bajah bhi puchhta tha,

Ae dost-

Per na jane kyun ab use,

Barsat ki bhi perwah nahin…..

Tanha rehna to sikh gaya ye dil,

Per kabhi khush na reh payenge,

Teri duri to sehna sikh gaya ye dil, per-

Tere pyaar ke bina hum jee na payenge….

Pyaar kamjor dil se kiya nahin ja sakta,

Zahar dushman se liya nahin ja sakta,

Dil me basi hai ulfat jis pyaar ki,

Uske bina jiya nahin ja sakta…

Santa – teri aur bhabhi ki Jodi to RAM-SITA ki Jodi hai.

Banta – kahan yaar, na to wo dharti me hi samati hai, aur-

  Na hi koi RAWAN  use utha ke le jata hai  …….

Aaja kitni raatein tanha bita chukka hun,

Aankhein jala chukka hun,

Tum aaogi ek din isi intezar me-

Na jane kitni hasaratein mita chukka hun….

Banta – tum itni der se apni marriage certificate me kya dekh rahe ho?

Santa – expiry date dhundh raha hun….

Some husbands hold wife’s hand in Malls, because if they leave her, she will go for Shopping.

It looks Romantic,but-

Actually it’s ECONOMIC…..

Dimag aur Dil me utna hi fark hai,

Jitna Phonebook aur Inbox me,

Phonebook me hazaron milte hain,

Magar Inbox me sirf apne hin milte hain…

Malik :- tumhe pata nahin me naha raha hun, fir bhi tum bathroom me ghus gaye.

Naukar :- maaf kar do malik, me socha Memsaaheb hain….

Sukoon-e-jaan ke liye dua kaise karun,

Dard to usne diya hai, gila kaise karun;

Sochta hun ki me mar jaun,

Lekin-

Usko zamane me akela kaise karun…

Sah liya har dard humne haste haste,

Ujad gaya ghar mera baste baste,

Ab wafa karein to kis se karein,

Wafa karne gaye to,

Bewafa hi mili raste raste…,..

Teacher- tum bade hokar kya karoge?

Boy – shadi.

Teacher – nahin, mera matlab hai kya banoge?

Boy – dulha.

Teacher – oh, I mean bade hokar kya hasil karoge?

Boy – dulhan….

Best Gift – Zindgi,

Best Ehsaas – Khushi,

Best Feeling – Pyaar,

Best Relation – Dosti,

Best Person – Hum,

Best Friend – Aap…

Santa to Banta :- what is Skeleton?

Banta :- Skeleton is a Person who started dieting , but forgot to Stop it…..

A boy was going with her Lover.

His friend asked – who is she?

Boy – my Cousin.

Friend smile & said :- last year she’s my cousin…

Mohabbat karke dekha hai,

Mohabbat ko pehchana hai,

Isme wafa bas naam ka hai,

Ye bewafai ka fasana hai…

Dil ye ummid toda hai kisi ne,

Sahara dekar choda hai kisi ne,

Hum aaj Rab se puchhenge-

Kya toota dil bhi joda hai kisi ne…

Koi ro kar juda hota hai,

Koi hans kar juda hota hai,

Juda hone ka ghum to tab hota hai, jab-

Koi kisi ka hokar juda hota hai….

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables us to recognize a mistake when we make it again. Gd morning.

Pyaar tera bhula na paunga,

Me hun pardesi laut aaunga,

Message toh tere delete kar diya maine,

Lekin teri yaadein kahan chhupaunga……

Etc is used in technical or informal writing, but in formal writing ‘and  so on’ or  ‘ and so forth’  is preferred..

Aise mili nigahe aapki or se

Aise mili nigahe aapki or se,

Dil ho gaya ghayal charon or se,

Ye to humari nazaron ki bhul hai,

Fir bhi hume hans ke Kabul hai…

Mohabbat ki hare k baat yaad hai hume,

Kyonki baat baat per roye hain hum  sajakar bister,

Zakhmo ka jag jag kar soye hai hum….

Wafa me agar sila hota,

Fir na hume zindgi se koi  gila hota,

Na karte kisi ki justuju,

Agar woe k shakqs hume mila hota….

Laila- me tere pyaar me lut gayi, barbad ho gayi.

Majnu – to karamjali, me tere pyaar me kaun sa Engineer ban gaya…?

Jinki mohabbat sachchi hoti hai,

Wo kab fariyad karte hain,

Zuban se keh nahin sakte,

Par dil se yaad karte hain….

Next year SUMMER to hoga,

SUMMER VACATIONs nahi hongi,

HOLIDAYs to hongi,

HAPPY HOLIDAYs nahi hongi,

KHANA to roz khayenge,

Ek dusare ke TIFFIN nahi honge,

SMS to hone,

But ye poonchh nahin paayenge ki kal BUNK mare ya nahi?,

So enjoy the Last year of your COLLEGE LIFE……

Meri rooh nikalne wali hogi,

Meri sans bikharne wali hogi,

Phir daaman zindgi ka chhutega,

Dhaaga sans ka  tutega,

Phir wapis hum na aayenge,

Phir humse koi na ruthega,

Phir aankhon me nor na hoga,

Phir dil ghum se choor na hoga,

Us pal tum humko thamoge,

Hum se dost mangoge,

Par hum kuchh bhi na bolenge, Aur-

Aankhein bhi na kholenge,

Us pal shayad tum ro doge,

Aur is tarah ek din tum humko kho doge…….

Good morning in Paresh Rawal style:-   “ Utha le  re deva utha le “’eeee”’ Mere ko nahi re baba mere dosto ko “’eeee”’  Duniya se nahi re deva, Nind se.”

Na Mom ki mar se,

Na Dad ke Atyachar se,

Na Doston ki fatkar se,

Na Ladki ke chappalon ki bouchhar se,

Ladke darte hain to bas RAKHI ke Tyohar se…  (09891601209)

Sab mujhe hi kehte hain ki usko bhool  ja.

Lekin-

Koi khuda se yeh dua kyon nahin karta, ki-

Who mujhe yaad  hi na aaya kare…..

Mat gussa karo kisi par itna,

Ki waqt kef aisle par aapko bhi afsos ho jaye,

Kal kya pata aap miss kare hame, aur-

Hum hamesha ke liye miss ho jaye….

Humse koi bhi pyaar nahi karta,

Humara koi bhi intezaar nahin karta,

Shayad hum phoolon ke sath lage huye wo kaantein hain,

Jin per koi kabhi  aitbaar nahin karta…..

Meri pehchan bas naam hi sahi,

Yaad na aaye itne badnaam to nahi,

Hume bhulana majburi hi sahi,

Magar sach me bhool jaao ye zaruri to nahi…….

Har dhadkan me 1 raaz hota hai,

Har baat ko batane ka 1 andaaz hota hai,

Jab tak thokar na lage bewafai ki,

Har kisi ko apne pyaar per naaj hota hai…

Tumhe pane ki khwahis rakhta hun,

Dil me basane ki zidd rakhta hun,

Agar tu na mili to,

Kisi aur ko patane ka Himmat rakhta hun…

Eae dil kisi ki yaad me rona fizul hai,

Ro to unke liye,

Jo tujhpe nisaar hain,

Unke liye kya rona ,

Jinke aashiq 1000 hain….

Hui hum se ye nadani,

Ki teri mehfil me aa baithe,

Ho ke  zameen ki khak,

Aasman se dil laga baithe….

Love is Air,

Love is Water,

Love is Blind,

I don’t  know which 1 is right.

I just know ‘I LOVE YOU’,

And-

I cann’t  live without “YOU”.

Mujhe ab dard ka hi sahara hai,

Zakhmo ke siba kaun ab humara hai,

Log darte hai maut ke aane se,

Hume to zindgi ne mara hai…..

Girl wearing very short skirt.

Boy :- won’t your mom say anything about your dress.

Girl :- my mom will be very angry, because I am wearing her dress……

Har ek shaqs ne aazmaya humko,

Dil ko khilona samajh ke thukaraya humko,

Pasand kiya jab bhi jisko humne ,

Unse hi  ji bharke rulaya humko…

JOKE:-

Our Syllabus = 90GB

We  study  =  90MB

Retains in Mind  =  90KB

Write in Exam  =  90Byte

Results comes in Binary Digits, i.e.;00,10,11.

Compute Field ki ladki kya Gali degi. :-

Infinite Loop Error?

Virus ke bachche?

1 click marungi to Dharti  se Delete ho ke Pattal me Install hoge…..

Maa ne kaha-  Facebook chhor do.

Abba ne kaha-  Night Pack chhor do.

Doston ne kaha-  Mobile se Balance churana chhor do.

Paaro ne kaha -  Dew Peena chhor do.

Aur ek Din aayega, jab

Girl-friend kahegi :-  Bachche kahenge, MAMU; Ab to humari AMMI Ka PEECHHA  Chhor do.

                                                                                                              

Heartly welcome to cool morning,

Happy welcome to fresh morning,

Great welcome to new morning,

Lovely welcome to nice morning,

I wish to you a enjoyfull good morning…

Unke chehre per is kadar noor  hai,

Ki unki yaad me rona bhi manzoor hai,

Bewafa bhi nahin keh sakte unko,

Pyaar to humne kiya, wo to bekasoor hain…

Chand per likh du naam aaapka,

Aisa ji chahta hai,

Lekin-

Ek to mera hath wahan tak nahin jata hai,

Dusara –

Ye khyal sala dopahar me hi aata hai…..

Santa- Nurse, me tumse pyaar karta hun.

Nurse – enlish me bolo.

Santa – I LOVE YOU SISTER.

Nurse – ok Brother, I love you too…

Santa – me ek baar apne ghar me bathroom gaya to wahan Sher tha.

Banta – fir kya hua?

Santa – maine Sher ko kaha pehle tu kerle , mera  toh apne aap hi ho gaya…

Dundu – do u know the greatest confusion in the world?

Tintu- Girl’s Smile…..

Khwais aisi karo ki aasma tak ja sako,

Dua aisi ki khuda ko pa sako,

Yun to jine ke liye pal bahut kam hain,

 Jiyo aisi ki har pal me jindgi pa sako…

Dooriyon se fark nahin padta hai,

Baat to dilon ki nazdikiyon se hai,

Dil ke rishte to kishmat se banate hain,

Varna mulaqat to jane kitno se hoti hai,………

Edison made many mistakes & found a BULB.

BUT-

Today if we make a single mistake,

We are called a BULB……

Getting a friend is easy,

Choosing a friend is difficult,

Maintaining a friend is talent,

Continuing the friendship is a god’s gift….

Kisi se itna hi door hona ki-

Use aapki ahmiyat ka ehsaas ho jaye,

Lekin kabhi itna bhi door mat hona ki-

Wo aapke bina jina sikh le…..

2 Pandito me ladai ho rahi thi,

Bahut der ho gayi,

3rea pandit ne puch- tum log aakhir lad kyon rahe ho?

1 pandit ne kaha – jab me lahsun, pyaaz khata hi nahin, tab isne chicken me milaya kyoin…

All beautiful things start from heart,

All bad things start from mind,

Never let the mind rule on your heart,

Let the heart rule your life….

Gila nahin zindgi se mujhko koi,

Khoya wo jo hasil hi nahin tha,

Milti bhi manzil kaise is pagal dil ko,

Chuna wo dariya jiska sahil hi nahin tha…

 Kisi ne kaha tha,

Kisi se na kehna,

Lage chot dil per to khamosh hi rehna,

Jahan chot khana,wahan muskurana;

Maqgar muskurana is kadar ki ro de jamana……

Pyaar me mila har gham uphaar hota hai,

Pyaar wo hota hai-

Jisme intezaar hota hai,

Sadiyon tak intezaar kerte hain wo-

Jinhe apne pyaar se aitbaar hota hai…..

  Roya hai dil. Aankhein muskurayi hain;

Aise hi humne wafa nibhayi hai,

Jo ek lamha na de paya uski khatir,

Humne bahut khushiyan gawayin hain….

Mat puchho aapke bin hum kya kya khote hain,

Aapki yaadon me hum kitna rote hain,

Na din gujarta hai aur na raat,

Bas hamesha bechain se hote hai……

Faslon se intezaar badhata hai,

Intezaar se pyaar aata hai,

Sari zindgi khuda se sajda karo,

Tab jaake aap jaisa pyaar milta hai…

Santa – kal meri biwi kuwe me gir gayi thi.

Banta – ab kaisi hai?

Santa – ab theek hi hongi, kal se kuwe se awaaz nahin aayi…..

Eyes are best friends,

Dono ek sath jhapakti hain,

Roti hain,

Soti hain,

But-

If they see a GIRL,

Ek hi jhapakti hai.

MORAL:- “A GIRL CAN BREAK ANY STRONG RELATIONSHIP.”

Tu khwab nahin mera jo fariyaad karun,

Tu pyaar nahin mera jo intezar karun,

Tu to DUA hai mere dil ki,

Jis per aakhari saans tak aitbaar karun…

FRIEND :-

F – Full of love,

R – Rare to get,

I – Ideal gift of God,

E – Every time with you,

N – Never forget you,

D – Don’t  forget me……

Har geet ke pichhe saaj hota hai,

Har baat ke pichhe raaz hota hai,

Badnami se mat darna,

Chamakate chand me bhi daag hota hai….

Kyon rulate ho mujhe,

Kyon bhul jate ho mujhe,

Sanam tere sahare to jeer aha hun,

Fir kyon akeli chhod jaati ho mujhe…..

Sardar went to a Girl’s house, to tell his love for her.

He took a Lotus, for proposing her.

But-

Her  mom opened the door.

He says :- Aunty , plz vote for BJP.

Santa – mujhe shadi me BMW mili hai.

Banta – ae Santa per tumhare pass to koi car nahin hai.

Santa – abe gadhe BMW matlab BAHUT MOTI WIFE….

Bus me ladkiyon ke chadne se bus bhar gayi aur Santa reh gaya.

Conductor – no more, no more.

Santa – sale morni-morni chada li aur  hum aaye to no more…..

Banta – dulha ghodi per kyon baithata hai? Dulhan kyon nahin.

        Santa – ghodi per baith kar dulhe ko bhagne ka akhiri mauka diya jata hai….

Ishq karne ka sila usne khub diya,

Dil de ke hume gulam kar liya,

Aisa ishq kiya zalim ne,

Ki zinda hote hue bhi zinda lash bana diya…

Ye aarzu thi kuchh aisa bhi hua hota,

Meri kami ne tujhe rula diya hota,

Hum laut aate tere pass ek lamhe me,

Bas ek baar tere labon per mera naam aaya hota….

1)         Why was ADAM the happiest man ever lived? :-- Because he was the only man without a mother-in-law.

Sonu :- tumhari sabse badi takat kya hai?

Monu :- meri wife.

Sonu :- aur sabse badi kamzori?

Monu :- dusron ki wifes….

Bank lootane ke baad DAAKU :-  tune mujhe dekha?

Clerk :- Yes.

Fir Santa se DAAKU ne puchha :- tumne?

Santa :- nahin, per meri wife ne dekha…..

Mohabbat ki ye bhi saja de jaa mujhko,

Yaadein hain teri ,apne sath le jaa isko;

Dil to tod diya hai tune zaalim,

Ab tujhe bhulne ka bahana bhi de jaa….

Yaadon na pana thi bhareli si zindgi,

Sukhane dukh na parasango thi bhareli si zindgi,

Ekla besi ne vichari to juo,

Koi dost vagair ketli adhuri si zindgi……

Kuchh lamhe aur tera sath chahta hun,

Aanhkon me thami wo barsat chahta hun,

Janta hun bahut chahti hai tu magar-

Teri zubaan se ek baar izhaar chahta hun…

Apne hathon ki lakiron me basa le mujhe,

Nasib apna bana le mujhe,

Me kisi aur ka ho na jaun kahin,

Jaldi apni zindgi bana le mujhe….

Ek ajib dastan hai mere afsane ki,

Maine pal-pal koshish ki uske pass aane ki,

Kismet thi meri ya sajis zamane ki-

Dur huie wo utni,

Jitni ummid thi kareeb aane ki….

Banke gajra tere balon me bikhar jaun me,

Banke kajal teri aankhon me lipat jaun me,

Mar kar sath rahe tere, isliye-

Khun  banake ragon me utar jaun me….

Gabbar :- arre wo Sambha, ye kaun hai jo SMS ka jaba hi nahin deta?

Sambha :- sardar ye wo log hain, jo miss call karne ke baad bhi balance check kerte hain…..

Jung me SANTA ne Bullet-proof Jacket ki jagah Machchhardani pehni.

Banta – aisa kyon?

Sonu – jisme machchhar nahin ghush sakta, usme goli kaise ghushegi…

Santa – meri aur Katrina Kaif ki aadat same hai?

Banta – kaunsi?

Santa – na me use SMS karta hun, aur na wo mujhe….

Dost ka matlab----

D = Dard me bhi jo sath ho

O = Oron se jyada khas ho

S = Sabse pyara jiska ehsaas ho

T = Tum par jisko apni sanson se jyada vishwas ho…..

Bhulne wale hume bhul jate hain,

Dil se hum unke nikale jaate hain,

Hoti nahin jab zarurat humari logon ko,

Tab hum kahan kisi ko yaad aatein hain….

Aisi kaun si website hai jise boys & girls chhup-chhupke dekhte hain? :-  www.indiaresults.com

Tujhe kismet se chura na paaye,

Khwabon me bhi apna bana na paaye,

Tujh per marte rahein tamam umra,

Per tujhko kabhi bata na paayein…

Yeh thandi hawa kya gazab kar gayi,

Puraani yaadein taaza kar gayi,

Sookhin thi ye aankhein ek arse se,

Fir kisi ki yaad inme paani bhar gayi….

Wife :- me driver ko ab naukari se nikal rahi hun, because aaj me doosri baar marte-marte bachi hun.

Husband :- Please, use ek aur mouka to do…

Badal gayi lehron ki disha,

Paani zoron se uchhal raha hai,

Humare aansoo ki kya aukat janab,

Aapki yaad me to aaj aasman bhi ro raha hai…..

Sham-e-furqat dhale hum nahin chahate,

Gham se fursat mile hum nahin chahate,

Aaj aansoo bahane se mat rokiye,

Aaj barish thame hum nahin chahate…

Jisne qatal kiya humari aarzoo ka,

Wahi humare wayan per be-kasoor nikale,

Humne to likh diya haal-e-dil,

Ummeed hai tumse koi dua zaroor nikale…

Humse nafarat karo ya mohabbat,

Dono humare haq me behatar hain,

Kyonki-

Agar tum nafarat karoge to hum,

Tumhare dimaag me bas jaayenge,

Agar mohaabat karoge to dil me bas jaayenge…

Chahat to aaj bhi utni hai unki,

Per kismet ke hathon majboor ho gayein,

Dekha jo unme apne liye berookhi,

Hum unki khushi ke liye unse door ho gaye….

Rishton ka guman aapse hai,

Muskaan humari aap se hai,

Aap hume bhul  bhi jao e-jaaneman,

Magar humari har yaad aapse hai…..

Ishwar ki surat Jindgi,

Jindgi ki surat Pyaar,

Pyaar ki surat Vishwas,

Vishwas ki surat Dosti, aur-

Dosti ki surat AAP….

Usne kaha mujhe bhool jao,

Maine tumhe dil se nikal diya,

Sukoon mila ye sun kar ki-

Kabhi to uske dil methe hum…

Tammana tere husn ki agar hoti,

To duniya se chin leta tujhe,

Mujhe ishq teri rooh se hai,

Isliye bhagwan se maangta hun tujhe…

Waqt aata hai chala jata hai,

Iska intezaar aur aitbaar kabhi mat karna,

Jo juda hokar bhi baar-baar yaad aaye,

Itna pyaar kisi se mat kerna…

Diwane hain hum, tujhe bhi bana dengein;

Dil me tere pyaar ki shama jala denge,

Raho chahe jitna bhi patthar dil ban ke,

Apni yaadon se tujhe rula denge…

Tasvir teri jo mujhe chhoo jaye,

Meri har saan se teri hi khushboo aaye,

Ye kis mod pe layi hai justuju teri-

Paani me aks mera ho aur-

Tu nazar aaye….

Ae khuda mere pyaar me kuchh aisi baat ho,

Me sochun usko , aur-

Wo mere pass ho,

Meri saari khushiyan mil jaaye usko,

Ek lamhe ko bhi agar wo udaas ho..

Kyun itna kareeb chala aata hai koi,

Kyun mohabbat ka ehsaas dila jata hai koi,

Jab aadat si dil ko ho jati hai uski,

To kyun door chala jata hai koi…

Bheegte rahe baaris me aksar,

Maangi kisi se panah nahin,

Hasratein poori na ho to na sahi,

Per khwab dekhna to koi gunaah nahin…

Meri kahani, mera kissa ho tum;

Meri saanse, meri duniya ho tum;

Tumhe kaise me bhula dun,

Meri hare k saans ka ek hissa ho tum…

A caring friend doesn’t  call or speak,

He makes it with a simple SMS,

Because it doesn’t  speak from Mouth,

It speaks directly from the Heart…

Bewafayi ka dart ha to pyaar kyon kiya,

Tanhayi ka dart ha to iqrar kyon kiya,

Mout bhi poochhegi aane se pehle,

Ki-

Jo nahin aane wali thi uska-

Intezaar kyon kiya…

Badal gayi leharon ki disha,

Paani zoron se uchhal raha hai,

Humare aansooyon ki kya aukat janab,

Aapki yaad me to aaj pura aasman bhi ro raha hai..

Aansooo unki aankhon ke kareeb hote hain,

Rishte dard ke jinko naseeb hote hain,

Doulat dil ki jisne lootayi ho, yaaron-

Wo log kabhi Gareeb nahin hote…

Definition of WIFE :-

The person in your life, who will ask you a  question, answer it herself & den say you are wrong.

Khuli aankhon se sari umar dekha,

Ek aisa khwab jo apna nahin tha,

Aaj tak wo sakhs dil me hai-

Jo us waqt bhi mera nahin tha….

Muskura kar roz mila karo,

Kuchh kaha, kuchh suna karo;

Baatein karne se hi pyaar badhta hai,

Isliye roz humse baat kar liya karo..

Palkon ki hulchal ko iqrar kehte hain,

Kisi ko dhundhe nazar usko intezaar kehte hain,

Kisi ke bina jab dil bechain ho-

Use pyaar kehte hai….

Banke gajara tere baalon me bikhar jaun me,

Ban ke kajal teri aankhon me lipat jau me,

Mar ke sath rahein tere , isliye-

Khoon ban ke ragon me utar jaun me…

Boy :- excuse me.

Girl :- yes.

Boy :- are you a Dictionary?

Girl :- no.

Boy :- but should be a Dictionary, because you have given meaning to my Life..

Meri  baat rahi mere mann me,

Kuchh keh na saka uljhan me,

Mere sane adhoore,

Hue nahin pure,

Aag lagi jeevan me…

Santa ek barat me gaya.

Wahan use baar-baar paani parosa jar aha tha.

Pareshaan hoker Santa chillaya :- gale me paani fans gaya hai, thode Rasgulle do…..

Santa, begam ke liye chappal lene gaya.

Dukandar :- Santa ji size to batao.

Santa :- yaar, wo to me bhool gaya hun. Aisi karo meri kamar pe nishan dekh lo…

Teacher to Santa :- tumne homework kyon nahin kiya?

.

/.

.

/.

/.

.

Answer given by Santa :- sir, kyonki hum to hostel me rehte hain…

Teri ulfat se mujhe inkar nahin,

Koun kehta hai-

Mujhe tumse pyaar nahin,

Tujhse wada hai mohabbat nibhane ka,

Per mujhe saanson per aitbar nahin…

Kisi ke dukh ka ehsaas hai hum,

Jindgi ka sunahara saaz hai hum,

Dusron ko khushi dene ki koshis kerte hain, per-

Khud pal bhar ki khushi ke mohtaz hai hum…

Mera sawan tum ho, meri pyaas bhi tum ho;

Sehra ki baahon me chhupi aas ho tum,

Tum yun to bahut door ho mujhse,

Ehsas ye hota hai-

Mere dil ke pass ho tum…..

Na de dard mujhe itna sajni,

Me na sah paaunga,

Teri to hai bahut sara dilwar,

Me jeete jee mar jaunga…..

Kash jate waqt ko hum rok sakte,

Sath gujre lamho ko jod sakte,

Kitni yaadein hain jo aapne di hume,

Kash zindgi ko pichhe mod sakte…

Driver to Santa :- sir ji, petrol khatma ho gaya hai, gaddi aage nahin ja sakti.

Santa :- oh shit yaar, chal fir wapis mod le…

Girl to shopkeeper :- aapke pass calculator hai?

Shopkeeper :- CASIO.

Girl :- me thik hun. Aap sunao.

Santa :- oye, bhabhi ka kya naam hai?

Banta :- GOOGLE  KAUR.

Santa :- aisa kyon?

Banta :- sawaal 1 karo, jawab 10 milte hain…

Bhikhari :- ek rupaye ka sawal hai bachcha?

Chintu :- Maths ke master sahib bagal me hain, unhi se pooch lo…

Jab se toota hai dil mera,

Na poochho kya halat hoti hai,

Raaton ko uth kar tadapata hun me,

Aur-

Aankhon se aansuo ki barsat hoti hai…

Khud ki zindgi se pyaar nahin,

Aaj bhi tadapata hun tere liye,

Nahin janta kya hai ye, per-

Itna janta hun, tu bani hai sirf mere liye…

There are so many beautiful pairs in the world. :-

Heart & Heartbeats,

Sea & Land,

Rain & Rainbow,

Rose & Red,

Like that-

“YOU & ME”..

Train me khadi ladki ne plateform per khade ladke se poonchha :- koun sa station hai?

Ladka :- jaaneman chumma do to bataunga.

Ladki :- hey bhagwan, BIHAR aa gaya…

Nazarein unhe dekhna chahe to aankhon ka kya kasoor,

Har waqt unki khushboo aaye to saanso ka kya kasoor,

Waise to sapne pooch ker nahin aate,

Per-

Sapne uske aaye to raaton ka kya kasoor….

Ek sakhs ki chahat ka arman raha,

Jo sab kuchh janker bhi anjan rahi,

Aati rehti hai wo bas khwabon me,

Bas ek yahi to uska mujhpe ehsaan raha…

Girl :- u were fool enough to believe that I loved  you.

Boy :- I was smart enough to make you believe I did…

Banta :- ye galat baat hai yaar. Tu hamesha mujhe bewakuf kyon banata hai?

Santa :- kyonki, tu BANTA hai…

Santa bakariyan chara raha tha.

Banta :- in bakariyon ko kahan le jaa rahe  ho?

Santa :- school le jaa raha hun.

Banta :- mujhe pagal samajha hai kya, aaj to SUNDAY hai…..

Jack :- are you Pregnant?

Girl :- not at all.

Jack :- then why whenever I send you a SMS, your delivery report comes….

Apne is dost ko yaad rakhna,

Har pal har lamha pyaar karna,

Humari dosti ki mehak aati rahegi,

Bas apni naak saaf rakhna….

Sadiyon se jaagi aankhon ko,

Ek baar sulane aa jao,

Mana ki tumko pyaar nahin ab humse,

To nafrat hi jatane aa jao…..

Har geet ke pichhe saaz hota hai,

Har baat ke pichhe raaz hota hai,

Badnami se mat darna,

Chamakte chand me bhi daag hota hai…

Traffic police budiya se :- me itni der se siti baja raha tha, ruki kyon nahin?

Budiya :- ab meri siti sunkar rukne ki umar hai kya…

Santa :- yaar Banta, sir ka msg aaya hai ki aaj extra class hogi. Kya karun?

Banta :- MESSAGE SENDING FAIL likh kar bhej de…

Jis ki chahat me karar hai,

Jiska milna dusbar hai,

Jo mere hathon ki lakiron me nahin hai,

Us sanam se bahut pyaar hai…

Dil me jo aaya, wo likh diya;

Kabhi Milan, to kabhi judai likh diya;

Teri judai hai ab muqaddar mera,

Le maine apni zindgi ka naam intezaar likh diya…

Jaane wo ab aur kya chahati hai,

Aur kitna aazmana chahati hai,

Dil to tod diya,

Fir bhi kehti hai ki-

Me chahati hun…

Chaha jise dil se,

Usi ne dil se bhula diya,

Ye nazara hai kya ye mere yaaron,

Aaj barsat ne bhi mera ghar jala diya…

Kitna dur nikal gaya,

Rishte nibhate-nibhate khud ko kho diya maine,

Apno ko pate-pate,

Log kehte hain dard hai dil me, aur-

Me thak gaya muskurate –muskurate…

Zuban se kehte nahin,

Dil se fariyad kerte hain,

Khuda hichkiyon se sataye unko,

Jinhe hum dil se yaad kerte hain…

Jyotishi :-  aaj tumhari wife ko jarur dhan labh hoga.

Husband :- aap sach keh rahe hain. Aaj me apna batua ghar per hi bhul gaya hun…

  Santa apna sar paani me duba raha tha.

Wife – kya kar rahe hain?

Santa – dimag chalta nahin hai sala, dekh raha hun kahin pucher to nahin hai.

Jyotishi – tumhare pati ki hatya hone wali hai.

Dolly – wo to thik hai. Aap ye batayiye, me bari to ho jaungi na.

Golu cricket khel kar aaya.

Molu – kitane runs banaye?

Golu – century hone me 100 runs baqi tha ki me out ho gaya…

Santa apni gf ko I LOVE YOU kehta aur gir jata.

Girl – ye kya kar rahe ho?

Santa – I m falling in love.

Sir – wo 3 words batao, jo sabse jyada bole jate hain?

Student – mujhe nahin pata.

Sir – shabbas beta, baith jao.

Wife – agar me mount everest per chadu to tum mujhe kya doge?

Husband – a le, isme puchchhne wali kya baat hai, DHAKKA aur kya.

Santa – dekh dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.

Banta – abbey wo kaant nahin raha hai, uska zahar khatm ho gaya hoga; to recharge karwane aaya hai..

Tel the right options for me—

1)      I am …..?(normal,cute,rocking)

2)      You can’t beat me at …….?(fight,debate,study,style)

3)      I have great …….?(attitude,smile,nature,eyes)

4)      My looks are ……..?(cool,average,hot,awsume)

5)      You …. Me?(like,hate,ignore,love)

6)      You consider me …….?(friend,best friend,more than that)

Hum bhul jaye use aisi dil ki hasarat kahan,

Wo yaad kare hume itni use fursat kahan,

Jinke charon taraf ho apno ka sath,

Unko ab humari jarurat kahan…

Everything incomplete without ME---

…….MORY,

…….LODY,

CO…..DY,

TI…..,

GA…..,

SO……THING,

……..ANING,

……..ETING,

Even this Lovely  ……SSAGE,

So don’t  forget ME….

Jab kuchh sapane adhure reh jate hain,

Tab dil ke dard aanshoo banke bah jaate hain,

Jo kehte hain ki-

Hum sirf aapke hain,

Pata nahin wo kaise Alvida keh jate hain…

A friend gives support,

A good friend gives Protection,

A best friend gives life, but-

A real friend gives “heart full of love”..