1 Hathi, Cow aur 1 Gaddhe me

1 Hathi, Cow aur 1 Gadhe me bahas ho rhi thi, ki kaun best hai?

Hathi- me bhari saman uthata hu.

Cow- me dudh deti hu.

 

Kuch bolo ab aapki bari hai….

 

Anjan hai anjan hi rehne do,

Teri yado me pal-pal marne do,

Kyon badnam karti ho mera naam lekar,

Ab to is naam ko benaam hi rehne do….

 

Pyaar ka pehla naam Vishwas hai,

Aur dusra bewafai,

Dosti ka bhi pehla naam Vishwas hai,

Par,

Dusra naam hai

JINDGI ……..

 

 

Khuda dil ke iraade azmata hai,

Sapno ke parde aankhon se hatata hai,

Hausala mat harna jindgi me,

Kyonki-

Thoda sa dard hi insane ko jina sikhati hai…..

 

 

Santa- yar bahut raat ho gayi hai.

Aaj raat ko yahin ruk ja.

Kal subah chale jana.

Banta- thik hai yar phir me ghar se Night-dress le aata hu….

 

Na koi pal Subah hai,

Na koi pal Sham hai,

Har Lamha aapki Dosti ke naam hai,

Ise sirf SMS mat samajhana,

Ye hamari pyaari si Dosti ka Salam hai……

 

Hume SMS karma band mat karma,

Warna tumhare Mobile me itne

Ched karenge ki-

Confuse ho jaoge ki

Charge kahan se kare, aur

Baat kahan se……….

 

 

Duniya ki har khushi se aapki Mulakat ho,

Khubsurat har Din, Khushnuma har Raat ho

Khuda jab Khushiyan batane ko nikale,

To har din aapse hi Suruat ho………

 

Teacher ne Santa ko ped per ulta latkane ki saja di,

Thodi der baad Santa niche gir gaya,

Teacher- thak gaye?

Santa- nahi pack gaya tha….

 

 

Gussa ho,

Mujhse bologe nahi,

Sms nahi karoge,

Maf kar do na please,

Itni badi galti nahi thi,

Bas aapki punch per pair hi to rakh diya tha…..

 

 

Dil me Khuda hai,

Aankhon me Nasa hai,

Baton me Wafa hai,

Chahat me Ada hai,

Andaz bhi juda hai,

Isiliye to sab is ‘PRABHAKAR’

Pe phida hai….

 

 

Phool Shabanam me dub jate hain,

Jakhm Marham me dub jate hain,

Jab koi Sahara nahi milta hume,

Hum teri Yaadon me dub jate hain….

 

 

Kisi se kya Shikwa Karen,

Ye to Kismat ki baat hai,

Jise hum DIL se chahate the,

Wo aaj kisi aur ke sath hai…

 

 

Lalu- itne sare log Football ko lat kahe mar rahe hain.

Sardar- Goal karne ke liye.

Lalu- sasura gol hi to hai,

Aur kitna gol karenge?

 

 

Santa- dekh…dekh teri biwi ko saanp kat raha hai.

Banta- abbey wok at nahi raha.

.

/

.

Uska Zahar khatm ho gaya hai, to

Wo Recharge karwane aaya hai……

 

 

Banta- Boss, is Gaddar ka kya Karen?

Santa- ise Sui chubha kar mar do, aur

Sui iski side me rakh dena.

Police samajhegi Sui-side ka case hai…..

 

 

Lalu- ‘I LOVE YOU’ ka kya Matlab hota hai?

Soniya- me tumse Pyaar karti hun.

Lalu- lo karlo baaat,

Angreji me 1 sawal ka puchh liya,

Ye Sasuri Fida ho gayi hum pe….

 

 

Mom ki tarah pighalte dekha usko,

Raat ki tarah badalte dekha usko,

Jaane kis gam ko chupane ki tamanna hai,

Har baat pe Muskurate dekha usko,…..

 

 

Jindgi ne kayi sawalat badal diye,

Waqt ne halat badal diye,

Itne bure nahi the hum,

Naa jane kyon logon ne,

Apne khyalat badal diye….

 

 

Kaun kise DIL me jagah deta hai,

Ped bhi sukhe PATTE gira deta hai,

Waqif hai hum dunya ke riwazo se,

Dil bhar jaye to har koi Thukara deta hai…

 

 

Kabhi Shikayat na labo pe laayenge,

Dosti yun nibhayenge,

Koi tumhari Buraie mere samane karke to dekhe,

Kasam se hum bhi uski-

‘HA ME HA’ milayenge….

 

 

1 choti ladki shop pe gayi aur,

Boli jab me badi ho jaungi to mujhse Shadi karoge na,

Shopkeeper (hans ke) – ha karunga.

Ladki- to apni hone wali WIFE ko 1 Chocolate do…

 

 

 

Santa Tapasyaa karta hai.

Bhagwan – Var mango, Vats

Santa- ye kya kiya aapne,

Me to Vadhu ke liye Tapasya kar raha tha….

 

 

Girl- is valentine pe mujhe aisa Gift do , jo sabse Costly ho.

Boy- thik hai.

Girl- kya doge?

Boy- (sharmate hue)

‘ONION’

 

 

 

WORLD CUP WINNER-

1975- West Indies

1979- West Indies

1983- INDIA

1987- Australia

1992- Pakistan

1996- Sri Lanka

1999- Australia

2003- Australia

2007- Australia

 

 

The 1^st Computer Games were Played on Television appeared in –

                                                                                                                                            the 1970s

The Lion of the Punjab-

                                           LALA LAJPATH RAI

 

 

Once king Cobra bited Rajnikant,

After 5 days of Severe Pain.

Finally,

.

/

.

Cobra died…

 

 

I L… kaise kahu.

I Lo… kya karu.

I Lov…. Dekho bura mat manana.

I Lov… mujhe Galat mat samajhna.

.

/

.

/

.

I Love KITKAT….

 

 

Khud ko kar nalayak itna ki,

Koi bhi book padhne se pehle,

Uska har panna tumse khud puche,

Dost tabiyat to thik hai na,

Aaj kaise yaad aayi….

 

 

Santa ne apni biwi ko dost ke sath dekh,

Dost ko goli mar di,

To-

Biwi boli- apne gusse pe kabu rakho warna,

1 din sare doston se hath dho baithoge….

 

 

Chahat se ikrar na karte,

Uski kashmo ka aitbar na karte,

Agar pata hota hum kuchh nahi unke liye,

Jaan de dete ,per pyaar na karte..

 

 

INDIA ke kis State me ek bhi Airport nahi hai?

                                                                                                          -SIKKIM

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Pehala Bhayanak Joke of 2011

Pehala Bhayanak Joke of 2011.

Phone rings Tring, Tring.

1^st : Hello, Prakash hai.

2^nd : Nahi hai.

1^st : Nahi hai to Mombatti jala lo, ho jaayega..

 

 

Mujhse juda hote hi,

Apne haathon me,

Tune Menhadi rachaai hai.

Wah mere humdum,

Tune Bewafai bhi ,

Apno se hi nibhaie hai….

 

Conductor bachche se- Tum hamesha Darwaje pe khade rehate ho,

Tumhara baap Chokidar hai kya.

Bachcha- Tu hamesha Paise maangta hai,

Tera baap Bhikhari hai kya…….

 

Fark hota hai KHUDA aur PEER me,

Fark hota hai KISMAT aur TAKDIR me,

Agar kuchh chaho aur Na mile,

To samajh lena ki,

Kuchh aur ACHCHHA likha hai aapke Takdir me…….

 

Maa- Beta kya kar rahe ho..?

Beta- Padh raha hun…

Maa- Excelent , kya padh rahe ho?

Beta- ji, AAISHA ke Message……….

 

Apki DOSTI ko hum nibhayenge,

Aap roz khafa hona,

Hum roz manayenge,

Per maan jana manane se,

Varna-

Raat ko bori me bharke,

Kahi dur phenk aayenge………….

 

 

Teri Ummid ki har aas mit gayi hai,

Phir DIL tera Intezaar kare to kisliye,

Zindgi un to kat hi rahi hai,

Magar phir bhi tere milne ki Aas hai kisliye…..

 

 

Me janta hu ki, Ye KHWAB jhute hai,

Aur ye KHUSHIYAN adhuri hai,

Magar Jinda rehane ke liye mere DIL,

Kuchh Galatfahmiya bhi jaruri hai………..

 

Dil hua Zakhmi magar,

Kisi ko Khabar nahi,

Meri Chahto ka Us per koi Asar nahi,

Ho ke Juda yadi Mar jaayenge,

Sun ke Unse kehna –

Ye Koi Badi Khabar nahi………..

 

Life is Funny & Twisted,

Some time you Laugh,

Some time you CRY,

But as long as I’m with you,

I’ll always be on Your Lips,

As a SMILE rather than,

A TEAR in your Eyes……

 

If Malika plays Role of ‘DRAUPADI’.

What ‘DURYODHAN’ will say?

“Dusashan, Pehna do Bhav ko SAREE.”

“Hum bhi to dekhe, kaisi Lagti hai Vastro me ye Naree”……

 

 

Dil ke Mehman ban jao,

Ankhon ke Arman ban jao,

Hothon ki Muskaan ban jao,

Oh aap ho,

I am Sorry,

Aap to bas-

Insaan ban jao…….

 

Make a Mind, which never Minds,

Make a Heart, which never Hurts,

Make a Touch, which never Pains,

And,

Make a Relation, which never Ends…..

 

True Friends are like Diamonds,

They are Real & Rare,

False Friends are like Leaves,

They are Scattered every where…

 

 

ROBOT FEVER----

Why does Rajnikant wear Sunglasses?

.

/

.

/

.

Reason- So that the SUN doesn’t Damaged by his Eyes…..

 

Teacher to a 1^st standerd gal- What is your Name?

Gal- What’s my name?

What’s my name?

What’s my name?

What’s my name?..........

.

/

.

My name is SHEELA,

Sheela ki Jawani………

 

 

Bure DIN ho Khallas,

Aane wale Din ho Jhakkas,

Aap kabhi na ho Udas,

Aap hamesha raho Bindas,

Ye Dua hai Khas,

Har Khushi ho Aapke Paas….

 

Phone na Krna, BILL jyada hoga

Message na Karna, Paise kharch honge

Mis Call na Dena, Battery down hoga

DIL se Yaad karma, KHARCHA kam hoga……

 

 

CHAND per hai Light,

Bole to ho gayi hai Night,

To band karne ka Tube-light,

Aur so jane ka keep quite,

Bole to wo Sweet Dreams wala-

GOOD NIGHT…………

 

Takdir ne Chaha,

Takdir ne Bataya,

Takdir ne Tumko aur Humko milaya,

Khush Nasib the Hum ya Wo Pal,

Jab aap jaisa ANMOL,

DOST Jindgi me aaya….

 

 

Kis had tak jana hai, Ye kaun janta hai

Kis Manzil ko pana hai, Ye kaun janta hai

DOSTI ke do pal ji bharke Jee lo,

Kis Roz Bichad jana hai,

Ye kaun janta hai…..

 

 

Cool Air,

Bright Sun,

Fresh Flower,

Singing Birds,

All these waiting to see-

Your eyes Open to Say,

GOOD MORNING…..

 

 

Dil me Yaadon ke mele hai,

Tum bin Dost hum bahut akele hai,

Sab kuchh Chod kar tumhe SMS karte hai,

Dekho hum tumhe kitna MISS kerte hai….

 

 

TRUE LINES:-

“ The Taste of Water can be enjoyed only,

When we are Thirsty.”

Same way---

“The care of True Persons will be Known only,

When we are Alone”.

 

 

Rose born for Beauty,

Jasmine born for Smell,

You born for Me,

And,

I born for You,

You & I born for FRIENDSHIP……

 

 

Muskaan ka koi Mol nahi hota,

Kuchh Rashmo ka koi Tol nahi hota,

Dost mil jate hai har Raste per lekin,

Har koi aapki tarah ANMOL nahi hota….

 

 

Sapno me aati hai,

Bahut Satati hai,

Tera Satana Pagal mujhe banata hai,

Gale se lagakar kar deta hai Bekarar,

Tujh jaisa koi nahi jo,

KARTA HAI ITNA PYAAR…………

 

Father- Kya hua beta, kyon ro rahe ho?

Mujhe bata, me tumhare DOST jaisa hu..

Son- Kya bataun me Apni wali se milne gaya tha,

Teri wali ne bahut mara….

 

Sonu (Conductor se) – Agar chalti bus se kudana ho to kab kudana chahiye?

Conductor – Beta tab kud jana….

….. jab Hospital Nazdik me ho..

 

 

Wo so jate hai aksar,

Hume yaad kiye Bagair,

Hume Nind nahi aati,

Unse Baat kiye Bagair,

Kasur unka nahi humara hai,

Unhe chaha bhi to,

Unki Ijazat ke Bagair….

 

Neend apni bhula ke,

Sulaya humko,

Ansu apne gira ke,

Hasaya humko,

Dard kabhi na dena un Hastiyon ko,

Khuda ne MAA-BAAP banaya jinko….

Tera Muskurana

Tera muskurana, yu aankhen milana,

Baar baar ye tera chehara nazar ke samane aa jana,

Ise mohabbat kahu na to aur kya kahu,

Karta hu koshish bahut tumse na milne ki,

Per is kambakht dil ne ek bhi na mana,

Jab bhi dekhta hu tujhko, tu aisa kyon sochati hai,

Ki me tujhko dekhta hu,

Me nahi ye mera dil, tere ander chhupe us humsafar dil ko dekhta hai,

Karta hai ye koshish bechara bahut,

Per tum samajh jati ho majara kuchh aur hi jarur,

Karta hu vada , me na milunga kabhi tumse zindgi me,

Aur na hi tum milna kabhi kisi mod pe zindgi me,

Per is masum dil pe itna kahar kyon dhati ho,

Isko iske humsafar se milne se kyon rokti ho,

Unka kya kasur hai, jo unko itna bedard saza deti ho,

Apne zakhmo ko chhipane ke liye tum kisi aur ko dard deti ho,

Ja re ja kuchh bhi kar le tu ,

Per ye jamana humare is mohabbat ka hi gun gayegi,

Tu jaayegi jahan bhi,

Wahan bhi tujhe humare is mohabbat ke hi dhun sunayi degi,

Aur tujhe meri baaten yaad aayegi,

Tera muskurana, yu aankhen milana,

Baar baar ye tera chehara nazar ke samane aa jana,

Ise mohabbat kahu na to aur kya kahu,

Ja rahi ho to jaate jana,

Per kehata hu ek baat apni kasam use sunti jana,

Ek din tub hi is pagal dil ki tarah,

Mujhse milne ko tadpegi,

Bin sandle wali apne pairon se,

Mujhko dar-dar khojegi,

Aur milne pe mere dil se,

kabhi juda na hone ki kasame khayegi,

bas is dil ki yahi hai aarzoo,

ki kash kabhi aisa din aaye,

tu bhi mere pass aa jaye,

aur mere is dil ko chain aa jaye.

Tera muskurana, yu aankhen milana,

Baar baar ye tera chehara nazar ke samane aa jana,

Ise mohabbat kahu na to aur kya kahu,

 

                                                                    :- prabhakar

Ladki ka Attitude

Girl to Boy- Apne baal to dekho, jaise ghas ugi ho.

Boy- Isiliye itni der se soch raha hu ki mere paas bhains kyon khadi hai….

………………./………/………………/………………….

Rajnikant once taught a child how to play ‘Lukka-chuppi.

.

/

.

Today that child is known as ‘Osama Bin Laden’.

 

………………./…………../…………/……………………..

Ek bachcha door-bell bajane ki koshish kar raha tha.

Ek oldman ne use dekha.

Wo gaya aur bell baja kar bola- Aur kuchh beta?

Bachcha- Ab bhaag bhuddhe, warna pitegaa..

 

………………./…………../……………/…………………..

Ravan ko court le jaya gaya.

JUDGE- Apna hath Gita par rakho.

Ravan- Sorry boss.

         Sita par hath rakha to itna lagda hua.

         Ab Gita par hath nahi rakhunga.

 

…………../……………./………………/…………………..

Ladki ka attitude hame pasand nahi.

Ladki ki baatein hume pasand nahi.

Ye to Dosto ki zid hai ki BHABHI chahiye.

Barna Girl-friend banana hume pasand nahi…….

 

……………../…………………././………………/……………….

Q Ishq Duniya me banaya mere Khuda,

1 pal chain na pau unke bina,

Me marna bhi chahu to nikle na Dam,

Ye kaisa Rog lagaya mere Khuda…

 

…………./………………/……………./………………………./…….

Teacher- Pappu, ‘TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA’ slok ka kya arth hai?

Pappu- Tum so jao Maa, me Jyoti ke paas ja raha hu.

 

…………./………………./……………../…………………….

Koi kehata hai Duniya, Pyaar pe chalti hai

Koi kehata hai, Dosti pe chalti hai

Lekin humne jab Aazmaya,

Toh ye Pyaar ki matlab ke liye chalti hai……….

 

……………/……………../………../…../…………………/………..

Dil me Yaadon ke mele hai,

Tum bin hum dost bahut akele hai,

Sab kuchh chodkar tumhe SMS karte hai,

Dekho hum tumhe kitana miss karte hai…

 

……………/…………../……………././………………./…………

Santa- Yaar koi aisa Karobar bata , jisme jyada munafa ho.

Banta- Aisa kar Sardiyo me Sasti Barf le kar Garmiyon me bech de.

 

………/……………………………/……………./………………

Anjan hai anjan hi rehne do,

Teri yaadon me pal pal marne do,

Q badnam karte ho mera naam le kar,

Ab to es naam ko Benaam hi rehne do……

 

…………./……………/……………/./…………………./……….

Takdir ne chaha,

Takdir ne bataya,

Takdir ne Tumko aur Humko milaya,

Khush Nasib the Hum ya Wo pal,

Jab aap jaisa Anmol DOST,

Meri jindgi me aaya…..

 

…………../…………………………../……….././………………………

Gamo ki Barsaat samete baitha hun,

Kisi Bewafa se Dhokha khaye baitha hun,

Jane kab dega Uparwala Maut mujhe,

Khuda ke bharose Aas lagaye baitha hun…

 

……………./………………./………………………/……………….

In the thick forest of South Africa a Lion attacked Indian boy.

Boy called to Rajnikant’s mobile & felt down.

Rajnikant killed the Lion via-

.

/

.

-Bluetooth…….

 

……………/………………………../…………………../………..

Aksar Gumsum rehne wala Nagma hu me,

Apki yaadon me rehne wala Lamha hu me,

Aap mere Dost ho to ek Baat batao,

Aapke hote hue bhi kyon tanha hu me……..

 

………………./…………../…………………../………………

Na jeene ki Khushi,

Na marne ka Gum,

Jeete hai es Aas par,

Kabhi wo humare ho jaayenge,

Marte nahi esliye ki,

Wo akele reh jayenge……….

 

………………/………………………/……………/……………

Everyday,

Every time,

Every where,

I may not be with you….

But my Thinking,

My Care,

My Message,

My Prayers,

&,

My Lovely Wishes are,

ALWAYS WITH YOU…………

 

…………………/………………../………………../…………..

Ae mere Jhute humsafar,

Ja tujhe chhod diya,

Tujhse muh mod liya,

Ye na Sochana tujhse,

Bewafaie karunga,

Tujhe chahta tha,

Chahta hu,

Aur,

Chahta rahunga…

 

……………../…………………./……………./…………….

Smart Boy + Smart Naari = Affair jari

Smart Boy + Bewakuf Naari = Pawn bhari

Bewakuf Boy + Bewakuf Naari = Shaadi ki Taiyari

Bewakuf Boy + Smart Naari = Boy Bhikhari…..

 

……………./…………………………./……………/…………..

Riston ki Haqeeqat koi kya samjhega?

Dilon ki jarurat koi kya samjhega?

Aapki khushi hi jindgi hai meri,

Is khushi ki kimat koi kya samjhega?

 

…………………………/………………………../……………..

Aaj Pyari si Subah boli:- Uth dekh kya nazara hai,

                           Maine kaha ruk pehle,

          MSG bhej dun us Dost ko,

                 Jo es SUBAH se bhi PYAARA hai….

 

…………./……………………………../……………./……………..

Pasand hai Surat lakhon me Aapki,

Jadu to jarur hai aankhon me aaapki,

Dil ki baaton ko aap kya jane,

Humne to bitaya hai har pal Yaadon me Aapki..

 

……………../……………././…………………../……………….

Humko khud se juda kar nahi paogi,

Humari yaadon ko bhula nahi paogi,

Karogi jab bhi Aankhein band,

Humko hi samne paogi..

 

…………………………/……………………/………………..

12 bachche kafi hain

I pray to God to give you-

Muskaan,

Aman,

Shoukath,

Sabar,

Khushi,

Prem,

Tehzib,

Shaan,

Fazal,

Tabbasum,

Ronak,

Roshan,

.

.

12 bachche kafi hai , ki

aur maangu?

 

We wish in this new year-

12 Month of Happiness,

52 Weeks of Fun,

365 Days Success,

8760 Hours Good Health,

52600 Minutes Good Luck,

3153600 Seconds of Joy……

 

Khushiyon ki Aarzoo me Muqadar so gaye,

Aandhi aisi chali ki apne bhi kho gaye,

Kya khub tha unka Andaaz-E-Muhabbat,

Pyaar dene aaye the, aur Palken bhigo gaye….

 

New Day,

New Morning,

New Hopes,

New Plans,

New Efforts,

New Success,

New Feelings.

Wish you -

a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011……

 

Hey open your eyes,

New lights are arriving,

Take your yearly pledge,

All with me-

Wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR

Take your pledge as pledge success you……

 

Itne yakin se to hum kah nahi sakte,

Ki hum aapko yaad rakh paayenge,

Par itna wada jarur kar sakte hain,

Ki jindgi me aapko kabhi bhul naa paayenge…………

 

Phoolon ko Khushboo ki aor se,

Sagar ko laharon ki aor se,

Chand ko sitaro ki aor se,

Aur aapko humari aor se----

HAPPY NEW YEAR………

 

 

LUCK is not in your Hands,

But Decision is in your Hands,

Your Decision can make Luck,

But Luck can’t make your Decision..

So,

Always Trust Yourself……….

 

Taxiwala- Sorry sir, me METER chalu karna bhul gaya.

Golu- Oye Praji, koi gal nahi, me bhi apna batva bhul gaya hun…….

 

H

A

P

P

Y

 

 

N

E

W

 

 

Y

E

A

R

 

 

2

0

1

1

 

 

H

HA

HAP

HAPP

HAPPY

 

N

NE

NEW

 

Y

YE

YEA

YEAR

 

2

20

201

2011

 

 

HAPPY

NEW

YEAR

2011

 

 

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011

 

 

Sardar- Oye, murgi ki Taang kidhar hai?

Waiter- Paaji, Murga langra tha.

Sardar- Aur Dil?

Waiter- Wo Murgi le gayi.

Sardar- Abe, dimag to hoga?

Waiter- Sorry Paaji, Murga PUNJABI tha……….

 

 

A child said to a Pregnant lady- “Ye pet me kya hai?”

Lady- Es me mera pyaara sa, cute sa baby hai.

Child- Itna pyaara tha, to khaya kyon Moti…..

 

Son to his Dad- Dad, aaap kabhi Egypt gaye the?

Dad- Nahi Beta, kyon?

Son- Phir itni khatarnaak “MUMMY” kahan se laaye…..

 

 

Golu Office ja raha tha.

Patni pyaar se boli- See you in the evening.

Golu gusse se- Dhamki kise de rahi hai, me bhi tujhe dekh lungaa…

 

Bibi- Tumhe pyaar karna nahi aata.

Pati- To kya ye 3 bachche Internet se download kiye hain?

Bibi- Nahi ye bachche to maine Sharmaji ke Pen-drive se liye hain…

 

 

 

Relaxed mind,

A peaceful soul,

A joyful spirit,

A healthy body,

and Heart full of LOVE,

All these are my prayers for you.

wish you a-

HAPPY NEW YEAR…..

 

 

Mujhe chand-taaron se kya lena,

Aapke bina in baharon se kya lena,

Bas aapka pyaar basa rahe es Dil me,

Mujhe Zannat ke nazaron se kya lena…

 

Once Rajnikant got angry on his friend,

And told him not to saw his face ever again.

.

.

/

.

/

.

Today hat friend is known as-

BIG BOSS……

 

 

 

Life lives,

Life dies,

Life laughs,

Life cries,

Life gives us,

And

Life tries,

But

Life looks Different in Everyone Eyes….

 

 

Lakhon me ek ho tum,

Sweet me Cake ho tum,

Dil ke Neik ho tum,

Aapka koi Rishta tod nahi sakte hum,

Kyonki,

Mere apno me ek ho tum…..

 

 

Sardar’s 60th Birthday..

Guest- Ye cake per BULB kyon lagaye hain?

Sardar- 60 Candles lagane me muskil ho rahi thi.

    So 60 Watt ka BULB laga diya…'

 

Nights are Dark,

But Days are Light,

Wish  your life will always be Bright,

So my dear don’t get Fear,

Because,

GOD gift us a Brand New Year….

 

 

Aapki yaadon ki Mehek se,

Din gujar liya karte hain,

Na mil sake aapse kabhi to,

Aapki tasveer ko seene se laga liya karte hain….

 

 

Can you lend me 2000/- Rs.?

I need it.

Please help me out.

I know you have it.

I will return it.

.

Santa asked to ATM Machine…

 

 

Shaam ki shama me ek Tasveer najar aati hai,

Tab en hothon se ek baat nikal aati hai,

Kab hogi unse ji bharke baaten,

Bas ye sonch ke har sham nikal jati hai…

 

 

Jo pyaar ke Rishte hum banate hain,

Unhe logon se kyon chhupate hain,

Agar hota hai Gunaah pyaar karna,

To Bachpan se hi sab pyaar karna kyon sikhate hain….

 

 

A special new year ,

Message for you,

Believe in yourself,

In the power you have,

Believe in Strength,

That you have ,

Deep within,

Believe in Tomorrow and,

What it will bring,

Have your Happiest year so far,

Wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR…..

 

 

Sardar- Yaar, ek ladki mujhko has ke dekh rahi hai, kya karun?

Friend- Pehle confirm kar, Has ke Dekh rahi hai,

         Ya Dekh ke Has rahi hai………

 

 

Wife- Bas karo, raat ke 12 baje se kar rahe ho, subah ho gayi hai, thake nahi kya?

Pati- Ye to kuchh bhi nahi hai, ab to din-raat karunga,

            kyonki ---

 

         mere SMS free hain……….

 

 

Paaji- Aaj meri bakri ne pehla Anda diya hai.

Dost- Bakri kaise Anda de sakti hai?

Paaji-  Arre yaar, maine apni murgi ka naam Bakri rakha hai…

 

 

Boy- Your Name?

Girl- Soft Underwear.

Boy- Are you joking?

Girl- No, it means-

      “KOMAL CHADDA”..

 

 

Ricky Ponting is visiting every Church in Australia Only to thank GOD that-

.

/

.

Rajnikant is not in Indian Cricket Team…

 

 

CHOR PAKADNE KI MACHINE:-

Chor pakadne ki machine bani.

USA me- 1 din me 9 pakade gaye.

CHINA me- 30.

UK me- 50.

aur,

INDIA me- 1 ghante me Machine hi chori ho gayi…_

 

 

 

Dad- Son, what do you want for your Birthday?

Son- Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it….KING…

 

 

Boy- Mujhse dosti karogi?

Girl- Mere Parents allow nahi kerte hain.

Boy- Haan, jaise mere parents ne to mujhe

        “ AKHIL BHARTIYA GIRL PATAO MAHA SANGH” ka Chairman bana rakha hai….