Dil me yaadon ko liye hain,
Tum bin dost hum bahut akele hain,
Sab kuchh chod kar tumhe sms karte hain,
Dekho hum tumhe kitna miss karte hain….
Rishta banaya hai to nibhayenge
Har pal aapko hasayenge
Pata hai-
Aapko to fursat nahin yaad karne ki
Lo ab hum hi aapko apni yaad dilate hain..
English teacher- who killed the cat, begin this sentence with by.
Tintumon- by the by, who killed the cat?
A husband said to his wife- no, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law more than I like your.
1 mandir tha, jisme buri niyat wale log gayab ho jaate the.
Salman gaya – wo gayab
Hrithik gaya – wo gayab
Imran gaya – wo gayab
Mallika gayi – bhagwan gayab…
Log har mod pe ruk ruk ke samhalte kyon hain,
Itna darte hain to fir ghar se nikalte kyon hain,
Me na jugnu hu, na diya
Fir roshni wale mere naam se jalte kyon hain…
Dil se na puchho baki waqt kitna hai
Saanso se na puchho baki khel kitna hai
Puchho jalte hue murdo se ki-
Jindgi me gam,
Aur,
Kafan me chain kitna hai………
Apne dil ki duniya me usko bhula na sake,
Bahut koshish ki magar pa na sake,
Kisi aur ko bana liya usne apna,
Fir bhi aakhiri dam tak usko bhula na sake….
Tasvir teri aankhon me chupali hai maine,
Teri yaad apne dil me basa li hai maine,
Jeene ko to sabhi ji lete hain,
Tumhe apni saans bana li hai maine…
Biwi - dear, tum mujhe kitna pyaar karte ho?
Pati – main tumse itna pyaaar karta hu ki-
Tumhara jhutha zaher bhi pee sakta hun, aazma lena….
Sawere sawere ho khushiyon ka mela,
Na logon ki parwah, na duniya ka jhamela
Panchiyon ka sangeet ho, ya mausam albela
Mubarak ho apko aaj ka sawera…
Santa – koi lambi umar ka tareeka batayiye.
Doctor – shaadi kar lo.
Santa – kya isse umar lambi ho jayegi?
Doctor – nahin,, ye shauk khatm ho jayega..
Aaj ki bahut khubsurat aur pyaari baat-------
Khuda ne farmaya agar –
Maine tamam baatein takdir me likhi hoti,
To apne bando ko dua mangna na sikhata…..
Paani me pathar mat phenko, kyonki-
Use koi aur bhi pita hai,
Zindgi jine ke liye hai
Use muskura kar jiyo, kyonki-
Aapko dekh kar koi aur bhi jita hai…
Chuhe ko billi lagi gori,
Dono milne lage chori chori,
Chuha bola wo gori-
Aa Khelein aankh michauli,
Billi chuhe ko mar ke khayi aur boli---
I hate love story…..
Who is the secretary general of Saarc?
-dr. sheelkant sharma
TRAI- telecom regulatory authority of india
It is established by the government to regulate the tele communication business in india….
Banta – kyon ro raha hai?
Santa – meri murgi mar gayi.
Banta – mera baap mara par me to roya nahi.
Santa – tera baap kya ande deta tha…….
America me light jaye to power office me phone karte hai.
Japan me jaye to fuse check karte hai,
But India me jaye to pados ke ghar dekhte hai-
Sabki gayi na…..
Aap itne achchhe lagte ho,
Dil ko mere bhate ho,
Kasam se wo ada to aapki jaan le leti hai,
Jab jukhaam me aap
Naak se gubbara fulaate ho…..
Kyun Ishq duniya me bANaya mere khuda,
Ek pal chain na paye unke bina hum,
Marna bhi chahu to nikle na dam,
Ye kaisa rog lagaya mere khuda…
Aaina dekhogi to meri yaad aayegi,
Sath gujri wo mulakat yaad aayegi,
Pal bhar ke liye waqt thahar jayegi,
Jab aapko meri koi baat yaad aayengin…
Kaam karo aisa ki pehchaan ban jaye,
Har kadam aisa rakho ki nishan ban jaye,
Yaha jindgi to sabhi kaat lete hai,
Jindgi jiyo aise ki misal ban jaaye….
Sah liya har gam haste haste,
Ujad gaya ghar mera baste baste,
Ab wafa kare to kisse kare-
Wafa karne gaye to bewafa hi mili raste raste…….
Har koi tumsa khaas nahi hota,
Jo khaas hota hai, wo kabhi paas nahi hota
Yakin na aaye to chand ko hi dekho
Jisko dur hote hue bhi duri ke ehsas nahi hota….
1 jaise dost sare nahi hote,
Kuchh apne hokar bhi, humare nahi hote
Aap se dosti karne ke baad mehsus hua-
Kaun kehta hai ki jameen par taare nahi hote…
Aaye hai dard ki mehfil me bahane lekar,
Apne gumshum hothon pe tarana lekar,
Khuda salamat rakhe unko aaye
Hai jo mehfil me dil diwana lekar…
Santa ne pco pe jate hi pco wale ko 2 thappad laga diye.
Sochon kyon----
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/
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/
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Bcoz pco ke bahar likha tha dial karne ke pehle 2 lagaye……..
Todna hota to rishte na banate,
Umeed na hoti to sapane na sajate,
Aitbar kiya hai aapke pyaar par,
Bharosa na hota to dil ka hissa na banate…
Girl – mujhe kyon dukh de rahe ho?
Tumhari koi behan nahi hai kya?
Boy – hai, esiliye to dekh raha hun..
Girl – kyun?
Boy – meri behan ko BHABHI chahiye..
Ek operation ke baad Patient bola- doctor sab kya me ab rog se mukt hu?
Jawaw mila – beta doctor to niche reh gaye, me to Chitragupt hu…
Santa – hum sher ke bachche hain, kisi se nahi darte.
Lalu – bhaak burbak, sher tohare ghar pe aaya raha, ya tohare amma jungle gayi rahi…
Everybody love a ROSE, but nobody loves a leaf which adds beauty to Rose.
Love them who makes your life beautiful, not who is beautiful..
Plz yaaar bahut ho gaya.
Apni girl friend ko samajha lo.
Mujhe phone karke kehti hai.ki-
14 feb ko mere sath date pe chalna hai…
Tum kya jano, kya hai Tanhai?
Toote patto se pucho, kya hai Judaai?
Bewafa ka ilzam na de jalim,
Waqt se pucho, kis waqt teri yaad na aayi…..
Teacher – is bird ke pair dekho, aur iska naam batao.
Student – pata nahi.
Teacher – tum fail ho gaye ,apna naam batao.
Student – mere pair dekh kar mera naam bataiye?....
Biwi – kya baat hai aaj bahut dino baad mera photo khincha hai?
Husband - kuchh nahi mere sar pe ab Wild-life photography ka bhut sabar ho gaya hai….
When I walk alone,
I wish to reach the end of the road.
But when you walk with me,
I will pray the road never ends. Be with me forever…
Bhul jana use jo tumhe bhula de,
Mat dekhna use jo tumhe rula de,
Par kabhi na hona dur us saqs se,
Jo apni aankhein bingo ker bhi tumhe hansaa de…
Santa ke pita USA se aaye.
Pita – teri maa kahan hai?
Santa – wo to mar gayi.
Pita - sale tune mujhe bataya kyon nahi?
Santa – maine socha aapko surprise dunga…
Har dil ka koi armaan hota hai,
Jo na samajhe wo nadaan hota hai.
Dil jise har pal yaad karta hai,
Wo dil ke dard se anjan hota hai…
Santa class me 1 gadha lekar aaya.
Teacher – ise kyon laye ho?
Santa – aapne hi to kaha tha, ki aapne kayi gadho ko insaan banaya hai, ab banao….
Kyon banaya mujhko ae banane wale,
Bahut gham dete hain ye zamane wale,
Maine aag ke ujaale me kuchh chehro ko dekha,
Humare apne hi the mere ghar ko jalane wale…..
Ladka – teer pe teer,
Talwar pe talwar,
Karti hai pyaar to utar de salwar.
Ladki – teer pe teer,
Talwar pe talwar,
Tere lund me hai dhar to chir de salwar…..
Phul gir sakte hai, par khushbu nahi
Chand dub sakta, par tare nahi
Nadi sukh sakti hai, par sagar nahi
Aapko duniya bhul sakti hai, par hum nahi…..
Kuchh ajib faslon ka janam ho raha hai,
Nasib mera jag kar bhi so raha hai,
Kaise keh du tuta dil dhadkta nahi,
Jabki dil ka har tukra ro raha hai…
Taras jaaoge 1 ada ke liye,
Behak jaaoge 1 nazar ke liye,
Na karo pyaaar me bewafai kabhi,
Barna jindgi bhar tadpoge kisi ke wafa ke liye….
