Door ho kar bhi paas ho tum, Meri saanso me basa ehsaas ho tum,

Door ho kar bhi paas ho tum,

Meri saanso me basa ehsaas ho tum,

Tumko  ehsaas ho naa ho,

Per mere liye behad khaas ho tum….

Time and Smile are two critical things in Life.

Sometimes Time makes you forget –

“How to Smile.”

And –

Sometimes someone’s Smile makes us forget Time…

Never go out of your way to explain someone your Honesty & their Faults.

Because –

Time has it’s own way of Revealing the Truth…

If 100% of People love you,

Make sure I am one of them,

If 99% People hate you,

Make sure I am in that  1%  who loves you,

If 100% of People hate you,

Then make sure I am no more…

A bed of clouds for you to sleep,

Diamond stars as your bedside lamp,

Angels from heaven singing lullabies for you,

May you sleep Peacefully through out the Night.

Good Night…

Santa : 1 chor ne mujhe loot liya.

Banta : tere paas to hamesha Gun hoti hai.

Santa : haan 2 lakh ki hai. Maine chhupa lit hi. Warna wo bhi le jata .

Slam book : -

Name :

Pet Name :

D.O.B. :

Best Movies :

Fav song :

Fav Colour :

Fav  Friend :

Enemy :

Fav Food :

Fav TV Program :

Fav Hero :

Fav Heroin :

Fav Animal :

Fav Place :

Fav Game :

Fav Player :

I am Your :

Life is :

I want to see my own funeral,

I want to see who will be crying,

And –

Who will be there,

But –

More than anything I just want to see who cares…

Ajeeb andaaz hai mere –

Mehboob ki masumiyat ka.

Yaaron,

Me agar tasveer me bhi dekhun to –

Wo palke jhuka leti hai…

A daily thought,

A silent tear,

A constant wish,

That you are near,

Words are few,

But thoughts are deep,

Memories of our friendship…

Ruth gaye humare sab chahne wale,

Ruth gaye hume manane wale,

Ab to mobile bhi humse puchhta hai –

Ki kahan chhup gaye tujhe roz SMS karne wale….

Sanam teri nafrat me wo dam nahin,

Jo meri chahat ko mita de,

Ye mohabbat hai koi khel nahin,

Jo aaj hans ke khela,

Aur kal ro ke bhula de…

Dil ki awaaz ko izhaar kehte hain,

Jhuki nigah ko ikrar kehte hain,

Sirf pane ka naam Ishq nahin,

Kuchh khone ko bhi pyaar kehte hain….

Es dil ka ek arman hai,

1 chand si mehbooba  humari jaan hai,

Jise mehsus kerna to mumkin hai,

Per milna kahan aasan hai,

Kyonki –

Me ek  zameen  aur  wo ek aasman hai…

Khushi ka pal ho tumhare liye,

Baharon ka gulista ho tumhare liye,

Kamyabi ki manzil ho tumhare liye,

Bas ek pyaara sa ehsaas ban kar rehna humare  liye…

Exams should be given on Mobiles instead of sheets.

You know.

Because –

Today students have more typing speed than writing speed…..

Patni : suniyeji, aapka dost galat ladki se shaadi ikar raha hai. Aap use rokte kyon nahin.

Pati : kyon rokun? Us kaminey  ne mujhe roka tha kya?...

Life is so confusing : -

What we want we don’t  get.

What we get we are not satisfied.

What we expect never happens.

And what we hate generally repeats.

That’s Life….

Humare liye unke dil me chahat naa thi,

Kisi khushi me koi dawat naa thi,

Maine dil unke kadmon me rakh diya,

Per zameen per dekhna unki aadat naa thi…

Mother is bank,

Where we deposite all our worries,

The best medicine in the world is –

A Mother’s Kiss.

Happy Mother’s Day…

Ek sharabi ka Court me case chal raha tha.

Judge ne kaha : ‘Order-Order’.

Sharabi replied : ek Chilli Chiken, 1 Royal Stag with Soda jaldi …

Ameer itne bano ki aap kitni bhi keemati cheez ko chaho kharid sako.

Aur –

Keemati itnee bano ki is duniya ka koi ameer bhi aapko kharid naa sake…

Hontho per naa kabhi koi shikwa chahiye,

Bas nigahe karam aur dua chahiye,

Chand taaron ki tamanna mujhko nahin,

Aap salamat raho aur kya chahiye…

Beautiful lines : -

I asked to Life : Why are you so difficult?

Life smiled and said : because never appreciate easy things…

Santa London ke Hotel me Murgi khane gaya.

Lekin Murgi ka English word bhul gaya.

Waiter : what do you like to have sir?

Santa : Egg’s Mother…

Dad to Son : why do you look so upset?

Son : I cann’t  tell you Dad.

Dad : treat me, as your friend.

Son : yaar teri Bhabhi naraz ho gayi hai….

Wada jo kiya hai tod mat dena,

Halat kuchh bhi mujhe chhod mat dena,

Mere paas reh jaye sirf yaadon ke saye,

Pyaar ki kahani ko aisa modmat dena…

Teacher : agar me 2 din ke liye tumhari Maa ban jaun to tujhe sudhar dungi.

Student : Mam me aaj hi jake apne bapu ko batata hun, ‘Bapu teri to Lottery lag gayi’…

Tumhein dil  me basaye rakhta hun,

Aur duniya ko bhulaye rakhta hun,

Tumhe meri nazar naa lag jaaye,

Isliye apni nazar jhukaye rakhta hun…

Never feel bad if people Remember you only in Need.

Feel Proud that you come in their Mind.

Like Candle in Darkness of their lives…..

Apni  asafaltaon ke vicharon per vijay prapt kerna hi sabse badi safalta hai.

Silsile to yun hi chalet rahenge,

Faaslein hain aur badhte rahenge,

Lekin aapka ye dost har pal aapko yaad kerte rahenge….

Arz hai,

Jara gaur farmayiyega,

Uski galiyon me naa rakhenge kadam aaj ke baad,

Gaur farmayiyega,

Wah wah,

Kyonki humari apni gali me hi setting ho gayi hai….

Success never depends on the size of our brain.

It  always depends on our –

POSITIVE-POSITIVE Thoughts & Actions only….

Agar  rashta khubshoorat hai,

Pata kijiye kis manzil tak jati hai,

Lekin agar manzil khubshoorat hai,

To rashte ki perwah mat kijiye,

Chalet rahiye…..

Maine sapno ko door hote dekha hai,

Jo mila nahin use khote dekha hai,

Log kehte hain – ‘Raat ko OSS girti hai’;

Per maine to phoolon ko akele me rote dekha hai….

Har sapne ko apni sanso me rakho,

Har manzil ko apni baahon me rakho,

Jeet zarur milegi aapko,

Bas apne iraade ko apni nigahon me rakho….

Apne bhagwan ko kabhi ye mat batao ki –

Aapki taqlif kitni badi hai,

Apni taqlif ko ye batao ki –

Aapke bhagwan kitna bada hain….

Sometimes words are not enough to express our feelings.

But –

Our loved ones understand our feelings without any words,

That’s the language of hearts…

Small & simple formula for better life : -

Never try to defeat people.

Just try to win them.

Aim in Life should be 654321.

Shocked naa.

6 : six digit salary

5 :  5 days work

4 : 4 wheeler vehicle

3 : 3 room flats

2 : 2 cute children

1 : 1 sweetheart ..

7 tips to be Happy in Life :-

+Never be late

+Don’t  cheat

+Live simple

+Expect little

+Work more

+Always Smile

+Never break

That’s  a good relationship.

Zindgi hasin hai

Zindgi se pyaar karo

Hai abhi raat to subah ka intezaar karo

Vo pal bhi aayega

Jiska intezaar hai aapko

Rab per bharosa aur waqt per aitbaar karo…..

Din ka ujala ho ya raat ki khamoshi

Aapki chahat hume tanha hone nahin deti

Khuda ne diya hume aap jaisa dost

Bas yahi khushi raat bhar hume sone nahin deti…..

Aapki yaad ek anmol phool hai,

Hum aapko bhul jayenge,

Ye aapki bhul hai,

Koi yaad hume naa kare,

Koi gila nahin hume,

Bas apno ko nahin bhulte hum,

Ye humara usul hai….

Zindgi ke kitab ke jo panne hote hain,

Kuchh apne kuchh begane hote hain,

Khushiyon se sawar jaati hai zindgi,

Bas rishte pyaar se nibhane hote hain,

Faqeer : maa ji, bhuka hun. Khuda ke naam pe khana de do.

Maa ji : khana abhi nahin paka.

Faqeer : facebook pe Rahim chacha ke naam se hun, pak jaye to update kar dena….

Santa : oye, ladki dekh aaya? Kaisi hai yaar?

Banta : rang se kali hai, aur kaan se kam sunti hai.

Santa : jara English me batana.

Banta : “Black-Behry” hai…

Dharmik proposal : -

1)      Maa ko Marathi me kyan kehte hain?

2)      Ram ke bade bête ka naam kyat ha?

3)      Swami Narayan ke tilak ka aakar kya hai?

Ans : “I LOVE YOU”……

Time jaise Regular bano,

Rose jaise fresh raho,

Pathar jaise strong bano,

Honey jaise sweet bano,

Muskil hai,

Per try kerne me kya jata hai mere bhai….

Har aasman me sitare nahin hote,

Har samundar ke kinare nahin hote,

Har nazar me iwshare nahin hote,

Har bahar me nazare nahin hote,

Har park me fauware nahin hote,

Har jam ke paimane nahin hote,

Sabhi hasino ke diwane nahin hote,

Har ghum ke fasane nahin hote,

Har Mahatma Sant nahin hota,

Har message ke ant nahin hote,

Ped per lage hain aam jja ke tod lo,

Agar kuchh rah gaya hai to khud jod lo,

Ab gusse se munh naa fulao,

Mentos khao,

Dimag ki batti jalao,

Aur bijli ka bill bachao……

Jo jaldi mile wo hai ghum,

Jo der se mile wo hai paisa,

Jo kisi kisi ko mile wo hai pyaar,

Jo kismet se mile wo hain aap…….

Ladka bola : dilruba.

Ladki boli : pizza khila.

Ladka bola : paisa nahin hai.

Ladki boli : aise nahin.

Ladka bola : mehangayi hai.

Ladki boli : aaj se tu mera bhai hai…..

God says : -

Zindgi me aap kitne khush hain. This is not important.

Zindgi me aapki wajah se kitne log khush hain. This is most important…..

Boy : ‘I LOVE YOU’.

Girl : naa.

Boy :  think again.

Girl : nahin.

Boy : waiter, bill alag-alag lana.

Girl : haan-haan bola naa, ‘I LOVE YOU’….

Samane ho manjil to rashte naa modna.

Jo man ho khwahis naa todna.

Har kadam pe milegi kamyabi tumhe.

Bas sitare chumne ke liye kabhi jamin naa chhodna….

Har subah teri muskurati rahe.

Har sham teri gungunati rahe.

Tu jise bhi mile,

Is tarah mile ki –

Har milne walon ko yaad teri aati rahe…

Girlfriend is Beauty, and Wife is Duty.

Girlfriend is Lovely , and Wife is Pagli.

Girlfriend is Whisky, and Wife is Risky.

Girlfriend is Rani, and Wife is Pareshani.

Girlfriend is Mangofrooti, and Wife is Kismat footi……

Aapko har chand aur sitare mile,

Har kadam per aapko sahara mile,

Life me kabhi akele naa ho aap,

Kuchh hum jaisa dost mile,

Aur kuchh humse bhi pyara mile….

Padosi 1: yaar, tere ghar se roz hasne ki aawaz aati hai. Khushi ka raaz kya hai?

Padosi 2 : meri biwi mujhe jute marti hai. Lag jaye to wo hasti hai. Naa lage to me hasta hun…

Taqdeer likhne wale ek ehsaan kar de,

Mere dost ki zindgi me Muskaan hi Muskaan likh de,

Naa mile kabhi dard usko,

Chahe to uski kismet me uski Wife ka naam ‘Muskaan’ likh de……

Chand taaron ka nor aap pe barse,

Har koi aapki chahat ko tarse,

Aapki zindgi me aaye itni khushiyan, ki –

Aap ek ghum pane ko tarse….

Santa train ki patari per so gaya.

Banta : train aayegi to mar jayega.

Santa : plane upper se gaya. Kuchh nahin hua, to train kya cheez hai?...

Jungle me sapera bin liye baitha.

Jara gaur farmayiyega.

Jungle me sapera bin liye baitha hai.

Saanp aur bhi kameena hai.

Wo durbeen liye baitha hai….

Agar 1 hara hua insane ,

Harne ke baad bhi smile kare;

To jeetane wala apni jeet ki khushi kho deta hai.

That’s the Power of Smile….

So keep smiling….

A mind blowing & heart touching thought of life…

Laash pani per tairati kyon hai?

Kyonki –

Dubane ke liye bhi zindgi chahiye…..

Newton’s 1^st law of Kaminapan. : -

Every kamina continues to do kaminapan until & unless a sandal with a velocity of 9.8m/sec is impressed upon him by a beautiful girl. This force is called ‘Beizzati’ which is directly proportional to Sharmindagi but Awarapan remains constant…..

Barish ki 1 bund apko khushi de,

2 bund hasi de,

3 bund tandurasti de,

4 bund kamyabi de,

5 bund,

Bas naa –

Sardi ho jayegi.

Happy mansoon…..

Failed student ke Papa Teacher se : Mam, thoda aap tight raho; thoda me zor lagata hun. Bhagwan ne chaha to is sal ladka nikal jayega…

Aapkin zindgi me 5 cheezein kabhi bhi aa sakti hain.

Hum

Hamara call

Hamara SMS

Hamari yaad

And –

Hamari yaad se aapke Face per SMILE .

Dekho aa gayi naa….

So keep ur smiling…..

Dur gaon me 1 basti thi.

Jahan murgian sasti thi.

Unki aawaz me itni masti thi.

Jitna maro utna hasti thi.

Aap bhi bahut haste ho.

Usi gaon ke lagate ho….

Chiragon ki roshani jab jara hili.

Laga tumhari ek aahat si mili.

Jaan-e-man,

Jaake dekha jab dar pe,

To phir wahi kafir hawa mili…

Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.

So be careful.

While taking any small decision.

Think About valuable pages of ur  life….

Nafz dekha to bimar likh diya.

Rog dekha to pyaar likh diya.

Shukra guzar hain hum us hakim ke,

Jisne dawa ki jagah unka didar likh diya…

Every woman has 2 major problems whenever she opens her wardrobe. :-

1)nothing to wear. And

2)no place to keep her clothes…

Me mout ke hathon ko chum lunga.

Agar meri ye dua jo Kabul ho.

Ki meri kabar ki jo mitti ho,

Wo meri MAA ke kadmon ki Dhool ho…

What could be the sweetest scene you could ever witness on the Earth?

It is watching your loved one sleeping and murmuring your name…

Rishta humara is jahan me sabse pyaara ho.

Jaise zindgi ko saanso ka sahara ho.

Yaad karna mujhe us pal me.

Jab tum akele ho, aur koi naa tumhara ho….

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.   : - Einstien.

Cute relationship : -

When someone gets angry with you. And

Says : I will never talk to you.

And later comes back to inform you.

 : - ‘I AM STILL ANGRY.’

Dear friend mujhe apne dil me jagah mat dena.

Me to aapke dimag me rehna chahta hun.

Kyonki –

Jagah jitni khali ho, rehne me utna hi maza aata hai….

Santa bijli office phone karke bola : light band kar do.

Bijli wala : why sir?

Santa : wo yar, mere dimag me 1 nayi mast wali gaali aayi hai. Wo tumko deni hai…

Need hope? Call me.

Need advice? Message me.

Need help? E-mail me.

Need money? Sorry the number you have dialed doesn’t  exist please don’t  try later…

Teacher  to kid : how many months in a year?

Kid : 12.

Teacher  : how do you know?

Kid : 12 mahine 12 tarike se teri beti ko pyaar jatata  hun….

Zindgi me 4 baatein jo aapka sath kabhi naa chhodegi. : -

1)      Dil ki dhadkan,

2)      Parchhayi,

3)      Khushiyan, and –

4)      Ek usse rishta,

Jiska aap message padh rahe ho…..

Husband : agar tumhe kuchh ho gaya , to me pagal ho jaunga.

Wife : doosari shadi to nahin karoge naa.

Husband : pagal ka kya hai? Kuchh bhi kar sakta hai…

Santa ne college khola.

Banta : yaar Santa, tu apne college ka naam sabse alag rakhna.

Santa ne college ka naam rakha : ‘SANTA SINGH GIRLS COLLEGE’ only for BOYs……

Kaanton me guzar  deta hai GULAB apni zindgi,

Ae doston –

Kaun kehta hai –

Ki phoolon ko koi ghum nahin hota…..

Teacher : bada ho kar kya banoge?

Student : Pilot.

Teacher  : why?

Student  : upar accident ka khatra nahin hota……

Kabhi-kabhi ye tay karna muskil ho jata hai ki –

‘Wo jhuth jo chehare per muskaan laye.’

Yaa –

‘Wo such jo aankhon me aansu laye.’

If you really want to give someone a gift.

Try giving them your time & attention.

A loving heart doesn’t expect anything more than that…..

Life is like a Camera,

So you should always Smile at every moment.

Kya pata kab kaun aapki Tasvir apne dil me utar le….

Bewafa  se umid-e-bafa naa rakho,

Loot jaoge dil ka darwaja khula naa rakho,

Khwahish hai agar jannat me jane ki –

Maa-baap ko khud se juda naa rakho….

As reflection cannot B seen in Boiling water.

In D same way,

Truth cannot B seen in a State of Anger.

So Analyze B4 U Finalyze……

Those who make you Smile.  : - Thank Them.

Those who makes you cry. : - Tolerate Them.

But those  who makes you Smile when tears are in your Eyes.  : - Trust Them.

Life is really nothing without ‘LOVE’,

Give everyone your ‘LOVE’.

But don’t  expect it back.

Because –

Its not a Deal.

It’s a Feel…..

Toot gaya dil per arman wahi hai.

Door rahte hain.

 Phir  bhi,

Pyaar wahi hai .

Jante  hai,

Ki mil nahin paayenge.

Phir bhi in aankhon me intezaar wahi hai….

Yaaron ke bich yarana sikh gaye,

Thoda sur lagaye aur tarana sikh gaye,

Sab kuchh thik tha zindgi me,

Galat to tab hua jab dil lagana sikh gaye….

Santa : aisi kaun si kali hai, jo kabhi nahin khilti?

Banta : aisi koi kali hi nahin hai, jo khilti naa ho.

Santa : hai.

Banta : kaun si?

Santa : Chip Kali…

Kitni parwah kerte hain hum unki,

Kash unko bhi ehsaas ho jaye,

Kahin aisa naa ho ki –

Wo hosh me tab aaye,

Jab hum gahri neend me so jaye....