A hot gal goes to Profesor’s room and said--
“Pass hone ke liye me kuchh bhi karne ke liye taiyyar hu.”
Profesor--- kuchh bhi.
Gal--- sure.
.
.
Profesor-- to padh le beti..-
AMMA:-
Beta RAJNI, apne solar heater se Garam paani nahi aa rahaa hai…
.
.
RAJNIKANT:-
Yanna raskala, ruko amma SURAJ ko theek karke aata hu…..
Ek Pathan T.V. pe Bomb rakh kar Pakistan ka match dekh raha tha…
BiBi:-
ye bomb kis liye.
Pathan:-
agar ye haar gaye to puri team ko bomb se udaa dungaa….-
(don’t anybody hesitate from reading this joke. that’s only a joke, nd not related to any religions, state, country,people. that’s only a joke 4 ur entertainment….so enjoy here..)
BOY:- Why don"’t u close ur eyes, when I kissed u?
GIRL:- Kaminey, 1st time aankh band ki thi, tb tune mere Purse me se 500/- churaa liye the…..
Once an unknown Negro child came to RAJNIKANT’s house.
When the boy entered RAJNIKANT’s house ,
RAJNIKANT asked----- “A kaun?”
and Today that boy is famous & known as--- “AKON”. (
NEWTON:- How to write 4 in 5?
CHINA:- Joke..
JAPAN:- Impossible…
AMERICA:- Question wrong..
PAKISTAN:- If u asked foolish question, I kill u…
U.K.:- Not found in NET….
4rINDIA,
RAJNIKANT:- “F(IV)E”……..-
ONCE James Bond shoots a person & say:-
m BOND, James Bond…
climax-----
but the person catches the bullet & throws @ Bond,
and Bond dies..
the person say----
I m KANT, Rajnikant…..-
Paaji found his wife having affair…
Paaji decided to kill her & himself..
Paaji ne apne kaan pe GUN lagayi aur Wife se khush---
khush mat ho agla no. tera hi hai….. _
TEACHER:- Why are you stressed?
did you forget your roll no.? pen, calculator..
STUDENT:- Oe, chup karjaa|
ethe me galat subject di parchi le aaya. Tenu pen, pencil di lagi hai…. (-
SANTA – BANTA:-
Santa & Banta paani pine gaye,
Glass ulta padaa hua tha..
Banta:- iska to muh hi band hai..
Santa:- haa yaar, niche se bhi tutaa hua hai….:
Rajnikant went to World Cooking Championship..
Guess , guess it fast yaar, that “Who won this championship?”
.
.
.
guess..
.
thinking some ..
ya..
ofcourse right Rajni won this championship,
but guess again what he made in Final?
.
guess..
.
.\
Lal mirchi ki meethi kheer….
A woman kidnapped ..
The kidnapper sent a piece of her Finger to her Husband and demand MONEY..
Husband:- I want some more proof,
Mundi, mundi bhej mundi…
Mohan:- me to apne sb dosto ko bhul hi gayaa thaa,
par ek movie dekhi to sb yaad aa gaye….
Sohan:- us movie ka naam to batanaa jaraa Mohan…
Mohan:- “kaminey”…..
At the age of 5 when RAJNIKANT studing Civil E ngineering…
His teacher asked him to do Mini Project during his 5th sem..
the next day,
His teacher was shocked by seeing CHINAWALL….
RAM asked to LUXMAN:- “ Jo hamesha hasta rehta hai tum usko kya kahoge?”
LUXMAN replied:- “HASH-MUKH”.
And again LUXMAN asked to RAM:- “ Jiska hasnaa bilkul band ho gayaa ho, usko aap kyaa kahoge?”
RAM replied:- “ HUS-BAND”……._
Patni apne Pati se:- “ jab akkal bat rahi thi, us samay aap kahan the?”
Pati:- “ darling, us waqt hamare tumhare phere ho rahe the.”
A bald man had 2 hair on his head. They both fell in love with each-other, but could not marry each other….
Why….?
?
?
guess it
.
guess
.
bcoz BAAL VIVAAH Apraadh hai…….
SANTA tells to BANTA:- ye khushiyaan kya hoti hai yaar?
BANTA:- pata nahi bhai,
meri to kam age me hi shaadi ho gayi thi…..
Proposal of small boy to Girl……
Kid:- I love u.
Girl:- stupid I m elder than u.
Kid:- I m madly in love with u..
Girl- get lost..
Kid:- Didi pleasezzzz…
SANTA to BANTA:- Aaj me lakhpati hu, to sirf apni wife ki meharbaani ki bajah se..
BANTA:- To pehle tum kya the?
SANTA:- CROREPATI…
MAN to Doctor:- give some vitamins to my son…
DOCTOR:- Vitamin A or B…
MAN:- Give any vitamins, bcoz he doesn’t know alphabets….
Boy to Girl:- why haven’t u had a boy-friend yet?
Girl:- m not allowed to have a boy-friend, do u have any girl-friend?
Boy:- bcoz u r not allowed to have a boy-friend yet….
Teacher to Golu:- tum class me topi kyun pehan ke aate ho?
Golu:- taaki kisi ko ye pata na chale ki mere dimag me kyaa chal rahaa hai…..
6 sardar & 1 pagal 1 rassi pe latak rahe the..
Pilot:- kisi 1 ko rassi chodni padegi…
Pagal:- ok, me chodtaa hu.
sab sardaro ne taali baja di,
aur ,
sab sardar rassi ko chod ke niche gir gaye….
Patni:- tum pehle jitna pyaar nahi karte ho..
Shaadi se pehle to tum pados ki chhat kudkar milne aate the..
Pati:- ab sochtaa hu ki ussi chhat se kud jaaunn…
Teacher to Student:- who is ur favourite writer?
Student:- Your daughter, sir.
Teacher:- Why?
Student:- everyday she gives me a nice love letter…
….
Molu Golu se:- aaj tere chehre pe kuchh jyaada hi rounak dikhayi de rahi hai, teri bimari aaj kahan gayi..
Golu:- abe aaj teri Bhabhi maayake gayi hai…
Judge Mujrim se:- tumne samaj ke liye koun sa bhala kaam kiya?
Mujrim:- hamare hi karan Police aur Adalat me Lakhon logo ko Naukri milti hai..
1st Gadha:- mera malik bahut marta hai.
2nd Gadha:- to tu bhag jaaa.
1st Gadha:- jab uski ladki shor karti hai to, wo kehta hai ki me teri shaadi gadhe se karaa dungaa,, bas issi ummid pe rukaa hu yahan..
MODERN RAMAYAN:-
Ram sends application to Rawan-----
To,
The Lankesh,
Lankapati, Sri Lanka..
Sir,
I beg to say that u have kidnapped my wife SITA. I have only 1 wife and I don’t know--- “how to cook food.”
Plz send my wife by ur plane bcoz -- “there is no Petrol in my BULLET.” Plz send her as soon as…
Bachcha:- Miss me aapse shaadi karna chahtu hu.
Miss (gusse se):- Mujhe bachcho se sakht nafrat hai.
Bachcha:- Me try karunga ki bachche naa ho……….
Akbar Birbal se:- Mujhse vada kar ki – “teri biwi ki pehli kiss me lungaa.”
Birbal:- Vada hujur, per meri v 1 sart hai.
Akbar:- bol..
Birbal:- meri shaadi aapki behan se hi hongi…
SANTA-BANTA:-
SANTA:- Yaar Banta , hum dono me kya rishta hai?
BANTA:- Jo Besan aur Pakode ka hai..
SANTA:- Wo kaise?
BANTA:- Kyonki, jab Besan SANTA hia, tabhi to Pakoda BANTA hai….
Mother:- “ Shaadi ke liye konsi Date rakhe?
Daughter:- 22 Dec.
Mother:- wo kyon?
Daughter:- (sharmaate hue)-
suna hai is din saal ki sabse lambi Raat hoti hai…
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