Nas Nas me uska Pyaar behta hai.

Nas nas me uska pyaar behta hai,

Har pal khayalon me uska chehara rehta hai,

Meri dua le aayegi use paas mere,

Mera har gira ek aansoo yahi kehta hai…….

Santa : I saw my wife going to Movie with Watchman.

Friend : didn’t  you follow them?

Santa : no yaar, I have already seen that  movie……

Life doesn’t make you or break you,

Its your own mentality that decides this,

So –

Never hesitate and,

Never feel low,

Wear a smile and-

Steal the show……

Beti : Papa, kal aapke ghar se 1 member kam ho jaayega.

Next day Santa ki Beti bhag gayi.

Santa : ladki ne kam to galat kiya, per thi wo Jyotish……

We never know that –

Tomorrow holds, but –

Don’t  be afraid or doubt anything, because –

The one who took care of you Today,

Holds your Tomorrow also…….

Mere dil me pyaar ki pyaas rehne do,

In nigaahon me teri aas rehne do,

Tum ne sab kuchh to mujhse chheen liya hai,

Bas tumhari kuchh yaad paas rehne do…..

Wife (gusse me) : dekh lena tumhe narak me bhi jagah nahin milegi.

Santa : are thik hai; waise bhi me har jagah tere sath aana bhi nahin chahta…..

Santa & Banta 8^th me aathvi bar fail ho gaye.

Santa : chal suicide kar le.

Banta : saale mad ho gaya hai. Agle janam fir Nursery to hi suru karna padega……

Aankhon me basa Sapna to bas Sapna raha,

Koi naa ab is duniya me apna  raha ,

Sabki khushiyon ke liye dua karta raha,

Aur –

Mere naseeb me sirf tadpana raha…….

True lines : -

In life we love & care some people more than others.

But –

Sometimes they prove –

We have only a Guest role in their life…….

Mantriji to Santa : sardar ji dhyan rakhiyega, Me khada hun.

Santa : oh jee khade kyun ho? Baith jao, apna hi ghar hai…

Waqt dar waqt ek ehsas rekhna,

Lamha har lamha ye aas rekhna,

Bhula naa sakenge hum kabhi aapko,        

Lekin aap bhi humari yaadein apne paas rekhna…….

 Love and Death are two uninvited Guests.

Nobody knows their arrival , but –

Both have same impact.

One takes heart and-        

The other takes its Beat……

1

Year

Ke

12

Month

1

Month

Ke

4

Week

1

Week

Ke

7

Days

1

Day

Ke

24

Hours

1

Hour

Ke

60

Minute

1

Minute

Ke

60

Seconds

1

Seconds

Ke

Hazar

Lamhe

Har

Lamhe

Mein

1

Hi

Kaam

Hai

-

“ I MISS YOU. “

If you want to be happy for a short time –

Get drunk.

If you want to be happy for a long time –

Fall in Love.

But if you want to be happy forever –

Don’t  even think of these two…..

Life me 2 baatein hamesha yaad rekhna, -

1)      Jab hum per paani girta hai, to hum bhig jaatein hain.

2)      Nahin girta hai, to nahin bhigtein hain….

Nayi si subah,

Naya sa savera,

Suraj ki kirno me hawaon ka basera,

Khule asma me suraj ka chehra,

Mubarak ho aapko ye Khubsurat Savera. Gmorning.

Zindegi ajib hoti hai,

Kabhi haar kabhi jeet hoti hai,

Tamanna rakho –

Samander ki gehrai ko chhune ki,

Kinaron per to bas zindegi ki suruat hoti hai……

Rango tum , rangu me,

Rangde sara ye jahan,

Bas hasein aur gale lagein,

Aur bhoolendusmani ka nishan.

Holi Mubarak ho….. Happy Holi…

Bright colors,

Water balloons,

Lavish gujiyas & melodious

Songs are the ingredients of perfect Holi.

Wish you and your family a very happy & colourful Holi….

Agar aap mujhe SMS nahin karoge to 4 days baad aap –

Lal, pile, hare, nile ho jaoge?

Ghabarao nahin,

4 days baad HOLI hai.

I wishing you a Happy HOLI…

Kuchh to duniya dari rakho,

Kuchh to dosti yaari rakho,

Baat to aap karte nahin,

SMS hi jaari rakho,

Jab SMS bhi nahin karna to –

Mobile Aalmari me rakho…..

Har taraf khamoshi ka saya hai,

Zindgi me pyaar kisne paya hai,

Hum yaadon me jhumte hain; aur –

Log kehte hain –

Dekho aaj phir drink karke aaya hai…….

Satisfy the person who expext  a Smile from you,

And –

Surprise the person who never expected anything from you…..

Kehte hain tumse hum ye sanam,

Tumhe jab mile khushi aur gham,

Khushi chahe rakhna tum apne hi sang,

Magar baant lena humse apne gham…..

Sath roti thi, hasa kerti thi;

Ek pari mere dil me basa kerti thi,

Kismet thi hum juda ho gaye,

Warna –                                                

Wo mujhe apna taqdir kaha kerti thi……

Kabhi raat me tare gin kar dekho,

Jitney tum gin paoge,

Utna tum mujhe yaad kerte ho,

And –

Jitney baaki reh jaayenge,

Utna hum tumhe yaad kerte hain….

Flowers turns to fruit,

But –

Fruit cann’t turn to flower.

Just think –

Friendship may turn to love,

But –

Love cann’t turn to friendship…….

Story of every Student : -

Ummido wali dhup,

Sunshine wali aasha,

Padhne ki wajah kaam hai,

And –

Sone ke bahane jyada……

When you do something for your loved one ,

Its not showing them –       

How much you love.

Its about satisfying yourself that –

Yes you made them special ….

Mantra : - ye road humne banwaya hai. Ye road hai sabse juda.

Santa : - pahle nazar utha kar to dekho,

Tu naa jaane aas paas hai khuda……

Mistakes are painful,

When they happen, but –

Years later –

The collection of mistakes is called “Experince”,

Which leads you to Success……

Chand bhi jamin per aayega,

Sitaron ka gift aapko de jaayega,

Milegi itni khushi aapko ek din,

Ki –

Khuda bhi khushi udhar lene aapke paas aayega……

Apne dimag se sahi sawal puchhoge to –

Sahi jawab paoge,

Agar galat sawal puchhoge to –

Galat jawab paoge.

Dhairya kadwa ho sakta hai,

Lekin uska fal mitha hi hota hai…..

Taqdir ke khel se niras nahin hote,

Zindgi me kabhi udas nahin hote,

Hathon ki lakiron per yakin mat karna,

Taqdir to unki bhi hoti hai,

Jinke hath nahin hote….

Take risk,

If you win.        

You will be happy;

If you loose,

You will be wise…..

Jana kahan tha aur kahan aa gaye,

Duniya me banker mehman aa gaye,

Abhi to zindgi ki kitab kholi hi thi,

Aur naa jaane kitne imtehaan aa gaye…..

Old story –

Slow & steady win the race.

But in todays world, -

Tortoise fails & rabbit wins.

Get up & start running….

Santa ko Airtel me job mili.

Customer : mera Airtel sim lock ho gaya hai.

Santa : don’t   worry, Airtel sim nikal do, and BSNL sim lagado. Thanx for calling…..

Me ek gunah har bar karta hun.

Har sajde me use hi yaad karta hun.

Aye Khuda agar wo bani hi nahin mere liye.

To me use itna pyaar kyon karta hun….

3 Golden Rules from Vivekanand : -

1)      Who is helping you, don’t  forget them.

2)      Who is loving you, don’t   hate them.

3)      Who is believing you, don’t  cheat them….

Dard ki bazaar bhari padi hai,

Wo cheez na lo, jo ander se jail padi hai;

Wafa ki talash chhod do,

Ye duniya bewafai se bhari padi hai….

Dard-e-gham mohabbat se cee lena,

Sukoon ka jam samajh ke pee lena,

Zindgi me koi gile sikve na rakhna,

Bas mere bina khushi se jee lena….

                                                                           

Santa : whats the name of your Car?

Lady : forget, but it starts from “T”.

Santa : oye, teri. Tea per chalti hai. Humari gaddi to Petrol per chalti hai…

Lehron me unka naam likh naa paaye,

Taqdeer se hum unse jud naa paaye,

Ye sila mila chahat ka,

Ki –                        

Wafa karke bhi ,

Wafa ke haqdar ban naa paaye….

Kisi ne Santa se puchha : aap bade hain, phir bhi neeche kyon baithte ho?

Santa : neeche baithne wala kabhi girta nahin….

Pyaar me Mout se darta kaun hai,

Pyaar ho jata hai, karta kaun hai;

Hum to kar de pyaar me jaan bhi kurwan,

Per pata to chale ki humse pyaar karta kaun hai….

No one in Life will think exactly,

Like the way you think.

So –

Learn to appreciate all the difference.

And –

Understand each other…..

Santa and Banta 8^th me aathvi bar fail ho gaye.

Santa : chal suicide kar le.

Banta : oye, pagal ho gaya hai. Agale janam fir Nursery to hi suru karna padega…..

Thak gaya me tujhko yaad karte karte,

Ab me tujhe yaad aana chahta hun,

Aakhiri hichki teri baahon me aaye,

Mout bhi me shayarana chahta hun…..

Flowers kabhi do baar nahin khilte,

Janm kabhi do baar nahin milte,

Milte hain log hazaron,

Magar –

Magar hazaron galtiyan maaf karne wale “MAA-BAAP” nahin milte….

No one can bring us down from where God Has Kept us.

And –

No one can promote us to a place God has not designed for us…

Santa ghar ka darwaja ukhad kar kandhe pe leke jaa raha tha.

Kisi ne puchha : - oye kahan chale?

Santa : - lock khulbane….

Yaadon ne aakar kuchh yun gunguna diya,

Jaise kisi ne bhula hua fasana suna diya,

Jaane kya baat thi us guzre kal me,

Aankhein royi, magar chehra muskura diya…

Wajud naa ho to hasti kis kaam ki,

Maza naa ho to masti kis kaam ki,

Yaad aapki aaye aur hum SMS naa karein,

To fir ye dosti kis kaam ki…..

When you sit alone,

You sit more with the Past,

The Past comes as Slideshow,

And –

Ends in either Smile on lips,

Or tears in Eyes…

Apne hone ka ek ishara de dena,

Kabhi guzarun to salam ka jawab de dena,

Yaad aa jaun ibadat me agar,

To hath utha kar is gunahgar ke liye dua maang lena…..

Jab aapko uparwale ne banaya hoga,

Tab usko bhi bahut maza aaya hoga,

Hasi di bachchon wali,

Surat di bholi bhali,

Mizaz diya cool,

And dimag gaya bhool….

Kisi ne sach kaha hai ki –

Tum jise sabse jyada chaho,

Usko kabhi mat aazmana,

Kyunki agar wo gunahgar nikala,

Tab bhi dil tumhara hi tutega…

An Airoplane is always safe at ground,

But it’s not made for that.

So always take some meaningful risks in life,

To get a great achievement….

3 kaale dost the.

Ek bar bhagwan ne unse ek-ek vardan mangane ko kaha.

1^st and 2^nd ne kaha : - “hume gora bana do.”

3^rd ne haste hue kaha : - “inhe fir se kala bana do.”….

Hum gaye the unke ghar,

Kehna tha dil se dil mila lo,

Unki maa ne khola darwaza,

To hum ghabra ke bole : - “ agar koi bacha ho to Polio Drops pilwa lo.”

 "a person is known as a successful person , when their friends , relatives & known people etc are also achieved a success at that time in their life."

Love is such a marvelous word,

If boy understands, girl doesn’t  ;

If girl understands, boy doesn’t  ;

If both understand, world doesn’t ….

1 bar dairy milk ne kitkat se kaha : kya duniya me humare siwa koi sweet hai?

Kitkat ne kaha : sayad tum nahin jante, ye jo SMS padh rahe hain, wo humse bhi sweet hain…..

Maa : tu 18 saal ki ladki dekh kar  shadi kar le.

Santa : 2 biwi ghar lekar aata hai.

Maa : ye kya hai?

Santa : 18 ki mili nahin to me 9-9 ki 2 se shadi karli….

Me tod leta, agar wo Gulab hoti,

Me Jawab banta, agar wo sawal hoti,

Sab jante hain, me nasa nahin karta,

Phir bhi pee leta, agar wo sharab hoti…..

Mashoor hona, per magrur naa hona,

Kaamyabi ke liye kabhi chur naa hona,

Mil jayegi aapko sari kaynat yahin per,

Magar iske liye kabhi apno se door mat hona…

On the shore of life,

All good relations are like waves,

They come and go,

But –

They touch in such a way,

That a feeling of closeness remains forever……

Doctor : khansi ka kya haal hai?

Santa : khansi to band ho gayi. Par ab sans ruk-ruk ke aati hai.

Doctor : fikar naa karo, rab ne chaha to wo bhi band ho jayega….

Most time we think only some people in our life are special for us.

But –

It hurts when we realize that we are in a list of many for those special ones….

Saz gayi hai zindgi tumhari,

Ab kahan yaad ayegi humari,

Tum auron ke mahfil me shamil ho gayi,

Hum yahan tanha rahon me akele kho gaye…

Santa : aap mujhe school kyon bhejti hain?

Maa : taki tum ek achche insane ban sako.

Santa : lekin teacher to mujhe hamesha  murga banati hain…..

1 din khuda ne mujhse sawal kiya : dost ka sath kab tak chahta hai?

Maine ek aansu samunder me girakar kaha : jab tak tum is aansu ko dhundh nahi pate…..

Santa ki girlfriend ka message aaya –

‘I Miss You.’

Santa ne jawab bheja –

‘I Mister You.’….

Being yourself is what makes you attractive,

Being something you are not makes you are liar,

And –

Relationship build on lies don’t last…..

Santa : Yaar ‘I Love You’ bolne ka sabse achha din koun sa hota hai?

Banta : 1 April ,ladki fasi to cool; nahin to April Fool….

Ladka girlfriend ke sath park me 1 tree ke niche betha tha.

Old man : bête , kya ye humari sanskriti hai?

Ladka : nahi baba, ye bajuwale ghar ki aarti hai…..

One rupee coin always makes sound.

But –

Thousand rupees note is always silent .

That means –

When you are silent your value increases…..

Girl : mera dil mobile hai aur aap uske SIM.

Boy : me bahut khush hun.

Girl : jyada khush mat ho.

Boy : kyon?

Girl : kyonki mobile dual sim ka hai…

Sirf do kadam door per kinara hoga,

Socho kitna khubshurat ye nazara hoga,

Bas dil jo kahe use dil se karna,

Fir dekhna jo sochoge wo tumhara hoga…..

Manzil unhi ko milti hai,

Jinke sapno me jaan hoti hai,

Pankho se kuchh nahin hota,

Mere dost hauslon me udaan hoti hai….

Dil ka chain chura le gayi koi,

Aankhon se neend udaa le gayi koi,

Intezar ki aadat nahi thi hume,

Per intezar karna seekha gayi koi….

Khushi to har koi chahta hai,

Per khushnasib hi khushi ko pata hai,

Lekin har wo sakhs khushnasib ho jata hai,

Jise aap jaisa dost mil jata hai……

Jise chaha kash wo humari hoti,

Khwaish ka bhi koi kinara hota,

Ye soch kar me usko roka nahin,

Door hai ye kyon jatata,

Agar wo humari hoti….

My blood is not costly,

It is very cheap.

But –

My heart is very very costly.

Because –

Its full of –

YOU……

Toota jo dil to dukh hota hai,

Kar ke usko pyaar dil ab bhi rota hai,

Dard ka ehsaas hota hai usi ko,

Jo mohabbat pane ke baad khota hai….

Nothing is Prewritten,

And –

Nothing can be Re-written.

So write carefully.

Live the best and leave the rest…..

Pyaar naa karna ho to dil ko naa lagana,

Chain khokar khud ko naa rulana,

Kuch logo ne pyaar ko badnam kiya,

Kyon karte hain pyaar,

Jab aata nahin nibhana….

Santa : shadi kya hai?

Banta : shadi chewing gum hai. Jo suru me mithi lagti hai. Fir kitna bhi chabayiye, beswad hi lagegi….

Hum bhool jaye usko aisi hasrat kahan,

Wo yaad kare hume usko fursat kahan,

Jinke charon taraf ho apno ka sath,

Unko ab humari jaroorat kahan…

Naa baton me batati ho tum,

Naa chehre per dikhati ho tum,

Khushboo ki tarah bikharta hai pyaar,

Fir bhi pyaar ko chhupati ho tum…..

This LOVE is LOVE the

LOVE best

LOVE  way LOVE to LOVE

Say LOVE

You LOVE that LOVE I LOVE

Miss

LOVE you LOVE.

Read it again without word LOVE……

Har shakhs ko diwana bana deta hun,

Mili nazar to fasana bana deta hun,

Dil ke mariz ho to kar lo dosti mujhse,

Har dil ko dhadakana sikha deta hun….

SMILE –

Is not a single word.

It is a beautiful sentence.

S – Speak,

M – More,

I – In,

L – Less,

E – Energy.

So always keep SMILE…

Itni nafarat naa karo ki bikhar jaye hum,

Thoda gussa karo ki sudhar jaaye hum,

Ho jaye khata to ho jana khafa,

Magar itna bhi nahin ki mar jaaye hum…

Couple date per tha.

Mummy ne dekh liya.

Mummy ne call kiya : beta kahan ho?

Beta : paper dene aaya hun.

Mummy : dhyan se , paper ka result aaya to jaan se maar dungi…

Yaadon me naa dhundho hume,

Man me hum bas jaayenge,

Tamanna ho agar milne ki,

To hath rekhna apne sine per,

Hum dhadkano me hi mil jaayenge…

Wife : look at that drunker.

Husband : who is he?

Wife : 10 years back, he proposed me & I rejected him.

Husband : oh my God, he’s still celebrating…

Waqt ki rafter ruk gayi hoti,

Sharam se aankhein jhuk gayi hoti,

Agar dard janti shama parwane ka,

To jalne se pehle hi wo bhuj gayi hoti…

Ek baat bata do,

Rasta wo mujhe bhi dikha do,

Apni yaadon se chhutkara bhi dila do,

Bhule ho jaise mujhe tum,

Tarika wo mujhe bhi sikha do…..

English teacher : who killed the cat? Begins this sentence with by.

Santa : by the way who killed the cat?....

                                                                  

Kyon mere dard se tum bechain hoti ho,

Aankho se keemati moti baha deti ho,

Agar pyaar karti ho to –

Fir kyon mujhse door-door rehti ho….

Dil me aapke jazbat aate hain,

Hum aapke khyalon me kho jate hain,

Aap aate nahin khwabo me,

Isliye –

Aapki yaadon ko sine se laga kar so jate hain…

Kitna surur raat ki tanhayiyon me tha,

Chup tha chand jaise,

Ruswayiyon me tha,

Log jag rahe the apni ibadat ke liye,

Aur dil teri yaad ki gahrayiyon me tha….

Santa : hum itne garib hai ki humare paas 1 dog bhi nahin hai.

Banta : haa yaar. Raat me chor aa jaye to hum dono me se kisi ek ko bhaunkana padta hai…

Mat gussa karo kisi par itna,

Ki waqt kef aisle per apko bhi afsos ho jaye,

Kal kya pata aap miss karein hume,

Aur  hum hamesha ke liye miss ho jaayein…

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Hardwork is a cup of milk,

Luck is like a spoon of sugar,

God always give sugar to those,

Who have a cup of milk…..

Wo badale is kadar hum hairan reh gaye,

Wo khus hain hum pareshan reh gaye,

Jane kab ye jaan nikal jaye,

Hum apne hi jism me mehman reh gaye….

Me ghar late aaya to dad ne puchha:- where were you?

Me bola- friend ke ghar tha.

Dad ne mere hi samane 10 friends ko call kiya.

4 ne kaha- haan uncle, yahin par tha.

2 ne kaha- abhi just nikla hai.

3 ne kaha- yahin hai uncle,padh raha hai, phone du kya?

1 ne to had hi kar di-  haan papa bolo kya hua?

Ab bolo hare k friend jaruri hota hai ki nahin…..

A rose doesn’t  means for proposing love.

It also mean:-

R – rare,

O – ones,

S – supporting,

E – entire life.

Be a rose for someone forever…..

Distance cannot separate anyone .

Time cannot bind anyone.

If feelings are true from the heart,

Then just close your eyes,

U can find anyone….

Khushiyon me meri muskan ho tum,

Gham me khushi ki pehchan ho tum,

Duniya ke liye meri shan ho tum,

Par mere liye to meri jaan ho tum….

Zakhm jab mere sine ke bhar jaayenge,

Aanshu bhi moti ban ke bikhar jaayenge,

Ye na puchho kis kis ne dhokha diya,

Warna kuchh apno ke chehare utar jaayenge….

Santa @ medical store :- I need poison.

Shopkeeper :- I cannot sell you. Until you have prescription.

Santa showed his weding card.

Shopkeeper :- badi botal dun ya chhoti……

Road nu speed limit,

Exam nu time limit,

Building nu hight limit,

Love nu age limit,

But-

Friendship nu no limit…..

Love is when you cannot hate,

No matter how much wrong is done to you.

If you can love beyond all the hurt’s & pain’s then-

Its true love…..

Santa ki chappal kisi ne chura li.

Wo sidha Kabristan gaya.

Udhar baith gaya ,

Aur kehne laga :-

“Sala humse bach ke kahan jayega? Ek na ek din to yahan aayega.”

Humari jindgi me aap bahut khas hain,

Har pal aapki duri ka ehsaas hai,

Jab bhi aapka SMS nahi aata,

To lagta hai ki-

Humare Mobile ka aaj upwas hai….

Santa : Johny. Hum to udti chidiya ke phankh gin lete hain.

Banta : isme kaun si badi baat hai, 2 hi to hote hain…..

Zaruri nahi ki PYAAR ki manzil mil jaaye,

Jise hum chahate hain wo hame mil jaaye,

Na mile to na kaho use Bewafa,

Dua karo ki koi humse se bhi Pyaara use mil jaaye…..

Bina wada bhi tera intezaar hai,

Juda hoke bhi tumse pyaar hai,

Gwahi deti hai tere chehre ki udasi,

Milne ko mujhse tub hi bekarar hai……

Relationship is like a Violen,

Music may stop now and then,

But strings are attached forever,

So if you are in touch or not,

You are Always Remember…….

Once life asked death : why people love me and hate you?      

Death replied : because you are a beautiful lie and I am a painful truth….

Zindgi se humne kuchh manga hi kahan,

Bas tujhse mangte rahe thodi si wafa,

Ummid humne kuchh jyada hi kar liya,

Na tera koi kasur na meri koi khata…..        

Respect the feelings of people who touched your heart.

Because-

You will never know when they will just walk out of your life and never come back…

Life is not just waiting for someone who is made for you.

But-                                

Life is living for someone who is happy because of you……

Mahfil na sahi tanhayi to milti hai,

Milna na sahi judai to milti hai,

Kaun kehta hai pyaar me kuchh nahin milta,

Wafa na sahi bewafai to milti hai…

Santa : ghar ka sara keemti saman  chhupa kar do, mere dost aa rahe hain.

Wife : kyon aapke dost chura lenge?

Santa : nahin , pehchan lenge……

                            

Santa : tumhare PAPA kitne saal ke hain?

Banta : jitne saal ka me hun.

Santa : kaise?

Banta : jis din me paida hua, usi din to wo PAPA bane…

No toil,

No kholi,

Khao goli,

Aur –

Raho sloly,

Kyonki –

Oh my dear friend AAJ-

HOLI hai,

Yaad rakhna sabse pehle wish kiya hai.-

HAPPY HOLI.

SANTA : ZARA SI DIL ME DE JAGAH TU.

Banta : thodi aur jagah ho to mere liye bhi mang lena. Ghar ka kiraya bahut badh gaya hai….

Dur ho humse to kya ghum hai,

Tum bin hum jinda hain ye kya kam hai,

Na dard kam hai, na aansu kam hai;

Dekhte hain yaad aanewale me kitna dam hai…

Days are too busy,

Hours are too few,

Seconds are too fast,

But –                                  

There is always a time for me to say –

Hi to someone as sweet as you…….

Relationship is a book.

It takes few seconds to burn.

But –

Takes years to write.

So write it carefully.

You have a nice page in my little life…..

Ae kalam jara ruk-ruk ke chal,

Kya gazab ka mukaam aaya hai,

Thodi der thehar ja use dard na ho,

Teri nok ke neeche mere yaar,         

Ka naam aaya hai….

Aap sochte honge hum itne SMS kyon karte hain.

Ans : bhartiye shiksha abhiyan ke antargat aapko roj kuchh na kuchh padhna jaruri hai..

Padhega India, tabhi to badhega India…

Har naye din me ek nayi aas ho,

Har dua ka saya aapke sath ho,

Koi bhi dukh chhu na sake aapko,

Bas muskurahat hi muskurahat aapke pass ho…

When you start your day,

Keep 3 words in your pocket :-

Try, true & trust.

Try : for better future,

True : with your work,

Trust : in God, goodmorning.

Santa ki chappal kisi ne chura li.

Wo sidha kabristan gaya,

Aur wahan baith gaya.

Aur kehne laga ki-

Bach ke kahan jayega, 1 na 1 din to aayega hi yahan…

Ek din ek lady tota kharidne gayi.

Lady- iski kya khashiyat hai?

Shopkeeper- ye bolta hai.

Lady ne tote se puchha- me kaisi lagti hun?

Tota – saali characterless lagti hai.

Lady – ye to bahut batmiz tota hai.

Shopkeeper tota ko amder le gaya,

Aur zor se water me duba kar puchha-

Bol ab gaali dega?

Tota – nahin, kabhi nahin dunga.

Wo use bahar le gaya aur lady se kaha- ab puchhiye?

Lady  :- agar mere ghar per 1 aadami aaye to tum kya kahoge?

Tota :-  aapka Pati hai.

Lady :- agar 2?

Tota :- aapka Pati aur Devar.

Lady :- agar 3?

Tota :- Pati, Dever aur Bhai.

Lady :- agar 4?

Tota :- paani le aao bhai, maine to pehle hi kaha tha saali characterless hai….

Jab dil udaas ho hamesha baat kar lena,

Jab dil chahe mulaqaat kar lena,

Rehte hain hum aapke dil ke kone me,

Waqtmile to talaas kar lena……

Zulfon ke narm andhere hain,

Jimson ke garm ujaale hain,

Jeete jee jinko pyaar mila,

Wo log kismet wale hain…….

Yaadon ki shama jab bujhti dikhayi degi,

Teri har saans meri wajud ki gawahi degi,

Tum apne ander ka shor kam karo,

Meri har aahat tumhe sunayi degi..

Life is beautiful.

1 day,

1 hour,

1 minute,

Its not going to come again.

So please avoid Fight and Anger.

Speak Lovely & Spread Your SMILE….

Rang De Basanti Movie dekh kar Santa ko bahut gussa aa gaya.

Banta :- why are you so angry?

Santa :- puri movie me Basanti ko dikhaya hi nahin…

Apnapan dikha ke juda na hona,

Bina soche samajhe kabhi khafa na hona,

Duniya me fir hum kisi ko apna na kahenge,

Aap bhi sab ki tarah Bewafa na hona…

Todne ke liye wada kiya nahin jata,

Soch samajh kar pyaar kiya nahin jata,

Yakin karo PYAAR ho ya DOSTI,

Dil se ho to uske bina ek Pal bhi jiya nahin jata…

Aapke akelepan me aapka sath nibhayenge,

Aapki tanhayiyon me aapke pass hum aayenge,

Aap ek baar mujhe awaz dekar to dekho,

Khud ro kar bhi aapko hasayenge…..

are kuchh der to tahar jaayiye

hume chhod kar na yun jayiye

kya pata hum kal rhe na rhe

ab to thoda muskura dijye

are aapki jaane ki zid hi hai itni

to koi baat nahin per kuchh der to ruk jayiye

naa kisi aur ka sahi, per kuchh apna-

aur kuchh humara kaha to man lijiye

1 ya 2 pal nhi, kuchh minutes to ruk jaayiye

hume aapka jaane ki koi iltala nhi,

per abhi nhi, kuchh der baad jayiye

ab to kuchh pal tahar jayiye

kitna surur raat ki tanhayiyon me tha,

chup tha chand jaise rusbayiyon me tha,

log jag rahe the apni ibadat ke liye,

aur-

dil uski yaad ki gahrayiyon me tha….

Teacher : ek aisa sentence batao, jisme URDU, HINDI, PUNJABI AUR ENGLISH KA SAHI use hua ho?

Santa : ishq di gali vichno entry….

Meri aankhon me mat dekh apna bana lenge,

Na dil ke karib aa mohabbat sikha denge,

Gehra hai tujhse rishta itna ki,

Khwabon me aaye to teri nind chura lenge…….

Har saans keh jati hai ek kahani,

Har subah le aati hai nayi kahani,

Raste to badalte hain har din,

Lekin manzil reh jati hai wahi purani…..

Wife : tum meri taraf face karke soya karo ji; mujhe raat ko dar lagta hai.

Husband : waah ri smart aurat, aur me chahe dar-dar kar mar hi jaun…

N : nav chetna

A : akhand jyoti

V : vighna nasak

R : ratjageshwari

A : anand dayi

T : trikal darshi

R : rakshan karti

A : anand mayi MAA DURGA bless you & your family.

Happy Navratri.

Agar duniya itni achhi hoti to koi bhi yahan rote hue nahin aata.

Aur –

Agar itni buri hoti to, jate waqt koi kisi ke liye rota nahin….

Everyone in the world would say, “you have changed a lot.”

But –

No one in the world would look into your eyes  and say, “you have compromised a lot.”

Khubsurat hai zindgi khwab ki tarah,

Jaane kab tut jaaye kanch ki tarah,

Mujhe na bhulna kisi baat ki tarah,

Apne dil me hi rakhna ek yaad ki tarah…..

Milna itefak tha,

Bichadna nasib tha,

Aur itna dur ho gaya,

Jitna karib tha,

Hum unhe dekhne ko taraste hi rah gaye,

Jinki hatheli per mera nasib tha…..

Nurse : udas kyon baithe ho sir?

Dr. Santa : dopahar ko jiska operation kiya tha, wo mar gaya.

Nurse : sir, who operation nahin tha; postmortem tha….

Jab paas thi to pane ki aarzoo na thi,

Jab ja rahi hai wo mujhse dur,

To use pane ki had sata rahi hai,

Jab thi use mohabbat , to use ye kahne ki himmat na thi,

Per jab aaj wo mere dil ko dard ka tofa dekar ja rahi hai,

To mujhe usko ‘I LOVE YOU’ bolne ki aarzoo sata rahi hai…..

Everybody knows how to build a beautiful house.

But –

Only a few people knows how to live beautifully in the house……

Hamare bin adhure tum rahoge,

Kabhi koi tha hamara tum khud kahoge,

Naa honge hum to ye aalam naa hoga,

Milenge bahut lekin koi humsa naa hoga….

Smile will be complete, when it begins with your heart;

Reflects in your eyes,

And ends with a glow on your face,

Wish you such smiling moments all time in your life…..

Zindgi lahar thi, aap sahil huye;

Naa jane hum kaise aapke kabil huye;

Naa bhulenge hum us hasin pal ko,

Jab aap hamari zindgi me samil huye……

Santa aasman me dekh raha tha.

Banta : kya dekh rahe ho?

Santa : me soch raha hun, itne bade SURAJ ka ghar kitna bada hoga?...

Relationship doesn’t  need powerful eyes,

A cute voice or a lovely face,

It always needs a –

Beautiful responsible heart with trust….

Parents is my eyes,

Love is my heart,

Teacher is my brain,

Brother is my hand,

But –

Friends is my Blood…..

Love is beautiful like butterfly,

When you try to catch it,

It will fly away,

But –

When you cool and silent,

It will come and touch ‘YOU’….

Milne ki khushi,

Judai ka gham,

Kitne udas aur-

Tanha hain hum,

Kaise kahein ki kaise hain hum,

Bas itna samajh lena ki –

Bina aap ke bahut akele hain hum……

I never felt true love untill I was with you.

And never felt true sadness untill you left me.

ME+YOU=LOVE

Always & forever….

Aisa bhi kya jeena mera,

Ki pal pal tadapta hun me,

Kisi ki yaad me,

Kisi ki intezaar me,

Roz jeeta aur roz marta hun me…

Aaj phir aap se baat karne ko jee chahta hai,

Aur –

Paas baith kar baat karne ko jee chahta hai,

Itna hasin tha aapke aansu pochhne ka andaaz,

Ki –

Aaj phir rone ko jee chahta hai…

Mere alfazon ko zuth na samajhna,

Yaad aate ho bahut,

Milne ki dua karna,

Jee raha hun tumhara naam lekar,

Mar jaun to bewafa naa samajhna…

Agar pyaar mile, to uski kadar kar lena;

Hum dur bhi jaayen to intezaar kar lena,

Vaise hum ruthte nahin,

Gar ruth bhi jaayen, to dua kar hume mana lena….

Teacher : murgiyon ki tangein chhoti kyon hoti hai?

Santa : sir, agar murgiyon ki tangein lambi hui toh eggs gir kar tut jaayenge….

You can be happy in your life at all times,

If you simply avoid 2 things : -

1)comparing, and

2)expecting,

Life will be more beautiful…..

Bechain raaton ko rahat nahin hai,

Mujhe phir bhi usse sikayat nahin hai,

Me haq apna uspar jataun to kaise,

Wo chahat hai meri, virasat nahin hai…

Life runs on 2 golden rules. : -

1)      Accept the things which you cann’t change.

2)      Change the things which you cann’t  accept……

Santa : me apni wife ko kya gift dun?

Banta : Diamond ring de.

Santa : nahin, me kuchh bada dena chahta hun.

Banta : fir Tractor ka tyre de de…

Nayi si subah,

Naya sa savera,

Suraj ki kirno me hawaon ka basera,

Khule aasman me suraj ka chehara,

Mubarak ho aapko ye khubshoorat savera.

Good Morning.

END is not End.

In fact E.N.D. is = EFFORT NEVER DIES.

NO is not Denial.

N.O. is = NEXT OPPORTUNITY.

So always Be POSITIVE & Think POSITIVE…..

Diwangi se milti hai safalta,

Kyonki –

Diwangi aapse wo sab kuchh kara deti hai,

Jiski aapne kalpana bhi nahin kiyein ho…..

Khubshoorat dilon ki talash karo,

Khubshoorat cheharon ki nahin,

Kyonki –

Cheharon ki khubshoorti to 1 din me khatm ho jati hai,

Lekin Khubshoorat dil hamesha Khubshoorat hi rehta hai…..

Bhikhari : 10 rupees de do, mobile recharge karke girlfriend ko call karna hai.

1 man : wah, bhikhari ne bhi Girlfriend banayi hai.

Bhikhari : naa ji, Girlfriend ne bhikhari banaya hai…..

Good Morning,

A cup of hot HELLO,

A plate of crispy WISHES,

A spoon of sweet SMILES and,

A slice of great success,

Specially for you….

Success is like a train.

It has several compartments.-

AIM,

ATTITUDE,

ACTION,

ANALYSIS,etc..

But –

Leading all those is engine of “BELIEF ON SELF”..

Waqt har dard ki dawa ban jaati hai,

Kabhi paas to kabhi door le jaati hai,

Taklif hoti nahin is dard se,

Kyonki –

Dard khud dawa ban jaati hai…..

BILL GATES never did LAXMI POOJA.

But HE is RICHEST MAN.

Einstein never did Sarswati Pooja.

But he was Most Intelligent.

So believe in work, not in Luck….

Baat banti hai dil se,

Dil banta hai dost se,

Dost banta hai pyaar se,

Pyaar banta hai parivar se,

Parivar banta hai ghar se,

Aur –

Ghar banta hai Viswas se……

Teacher : tum late kyon aaye ho?

Boy : mom dad fight kar rahe the.

Teacher : Wo fight kar rahe the, to tum kyon late aaye?

Boy : kyonki , mera 1 shoe mom ke paas tha aur dusara dad ke paas tha….

Aapki yaad kaise aayegi,

Aap ye kyun samajh naa paate hain,

Yaad to sirf unki aati hai,

Hum kabhi jinko bhul jaate hain.

I MISS YOU…….

The more anger  towards,

The past you carry in your heart,

The less capable,

You are of loving in the Present….

I think you are very careless.

You come & leave things behind.

See now what you have left.

You just came in my mind,

And –

Left a SMILE on my Face…….

Nurse : mubarak ho aap Papa ban gaye.

Man : meri wife ko nahin bolna, me use surprise dunga…..

Smiling is the best Anti virus in the world.

It protects your life.

Windows from fatal.

Viruses of Sorrow,

And –

Hopelessnes.

So update your Antivirus daily……

Tum mujhe apne dil me rakh lo,

Rakh lo apni nigaahon me,

Tum bin jee naa paayenge tanha,

Dam bhi nikale to nikale teri baahon me……

Boss : tumparindo ke baare me sab jaante ho?

Boy  : yes.

Boss : achha ye batao, wo kaun sa parinda hai jo udd nahin sakta?

Boy : mara hua parinda…..

Pyaar hazar nahin sirf ek chahiye,

Sukh-dukh me de sath wo yaar chahiye,

Hum kisi ko bhulate nahin, lekin –

Jo hume rakhe yaad aisa yaar chahiye…….

Humare bin adhure tum rahoge,,

Kabhi koi tha hamara tum khud kahoge,

Naa honge hum to naa ye aalam hoga,

Milenge bahut lekin koi humsa naa hoga……

Santa ne apne 6 month ki baby ki Birthday parti rakhi.

Kisi ne puchha : 6 month ke baby ka birthday kaise?

Santa : hum semester system ko follow karte hain……

Koi badi daulat na haweli,

Naa zaaydad mangta hun,

Mere khuda bas us insan ko Sada Khush rakhna,

Jisse me apni zindgi maangta hun ….

Hum ye nahin chahte ki koi aapke liye Dua naa mange.

Hum to bas itna chahte hain ki –

Koi Dua me aapko naa mange…..

College me ajeeb khel hota hai,

Class me dilon ka mel hota hai,

Padhai nahin lovemail hota hai,

Isiliye to DON hamesha Fail hota hai….

Kaash sapne haqiqat hote,

To me har sapne me tujhe dekha karta,

Kaash zindgi me har dua puri hoti,

To me har dua me tujhe manga karta……

Girlfriend : aapke bina mera jee nahin lagta?

Santa : jee nahin lagta , to isme kya hai? Soniye , Star Plus laga lo. Wo bhi achhe channel hain….

A nice thought :

Spend a day without bothering.

What others do or think.

Half of your problems will die…

Rakh hausla wo manzar bhi aayega,

Pyaase ke paas chal kar samundar bhi aayega,

Thak kar naa baith ye manzil ke musafir,

Manzil bhi milegi, aur milne ka maza bhi aayega……

Anyday if you are –

Rejected,

Confused,

Hurt,

Depressed,

And you wish to meet the best person,

Who can solve all your problems,

Look into the mirror…..

Taxi driver to Santa : Santaji, petrol khatm ho gaya hai, gaddi aage nahin ja rahi.

Santa : koi baat nahin, gaddi pichhe le lo…

Pyaar sabhi ko jina sikha deti hai,

Wafa ke naam per marna sikha deti hai,

Pyaar nahin kiya to karke dekho,

Zalim har dard sehna sikha deti hai……

If you want to be happy for a sort time,

-          Get drunk,

If you want to be happy for a long time,

-          Fall in Love,

But if you want to happy forever,

-          Don’t  even think of these two……

Santa ki modern wife ne use office jate waqt kaha : see you in the evening.

Santa gusse me : me bhi tujhe dekh lunga. Dhamki kisko deti hai?...

Galti karke wo galti ka naam puchhti hai,

Dard de ke dawa ka naam puchhti hai,

Mar gaye hum unki is ada pe hoke, ki –

Meri jaan meri Jaan ka naam puchhti hai…..

Tum jise chaho apna andaz de dena,

Haq itna sa mujhe aaj de dena,

Nazrein duniya ki jab, tumhe tanha chhod de;

Us mod per mujhe ek awaaz de dena…

Wo hase to khushi mujhe hoti hai,

Wo roye to aankhein meri roti hai,

Tum bhi mehsus karna ae doston,

Mohabbat kuchh aisi hin cheez  hoti hai…

Doctor : kaise aana hua?

Santa : bas Dr. saab tabiyat thik nahin hai.

Doctor : drinks lete ho kya?

Santa : haan leta to hun, per chhota hin pack banana….

Santa  : yaar ‘I LOVE YOU’ bolne ka sabse achha din kaun sa hoga?

Banta : 1 April, ladki fasi to Cool, nahin to April-fool……

Wife : aap bahut mote ho gaye ho?

Santa : tum bhi to kitni moti ho gayi ho?

Wife : me to MAA banane wali hun.

Santa : me bhi to baap banane wala hun……

Mujhe tujhse bepanah pyaar rahega,

Teri yaadon se ye dil gulzaar rahega,

Kitni bhi door chali jaa tu mujhse,

Har pal tera besabri se intezaar rahega…..

Unki nazar ka jhukna ek baar ho gaya,

Ek teer dil ke paar ho gaya,

Khud ko bahut samhala unke baar se,

Magar naa chahte hue bhi unse pyaar ho gaya….

Naa karo tamanna kisi ko pane ki,

Badi bedard nigah hai zamane ki,

Khud ko bana lo kabil is kadar,

Ki rakhe log tamanna sirf tumhe paane ki……

Banta : dulha ghodi per kyon baithta hai? Dulhan kyon nahin?

Santa : ghodi per baith kar dulhe ko bhagane ka aakhiri mauka diya jata hai….

Dil hota hai naazuk,

Ise dhukaraya na karo,

Jo aapse pyaar kare,

Use rulaya naa karo,

Kya mera hi farz hai aapko yaad karne ka

Kabhi to aap bhi hume yaad kiya karo….

Zindgi me bar-bar ye mukam aaye,

Hum ek dusre ke kaam aaye,

Bas –

Itni si dua hai rab se,

Ki agle janam me bhi tumhare doton me humara naam aaye….

If you can Smile at the moment,

When you are completely broken.

Then remember –

There is nothing in this world,

That can break you next time…..

Umbrella cannot stop rain.

But allows us to stand in rain.

Confidence may not bring success.

But –

It gives the power to face challenges….