“1983 calender & 2011 calender are same.so, INDIA win the CRICKET WORLD CUP in both years.
1983’ Indian captan is KAPIL DEV. And 2011’ Indian captan is M.S. DHONI.”
“Mere bhaiya ke birth-year ke next year India ne 1983 me pehli world cup jeeti thi. And meri bhatiji(my elder brother’s daughter) ke birth year ke next year India ne again dusri baar world cup jeeti.”
-prabhakar.
About Sachin Tendulkar-
His jersey no. is 10.
Age 37 = 3+7=10
Height 5”5 =5+5=10
WC win date 2/4/2011 = 2+4+2+0+1+1=10
Win after 28 years 2+8=10
Also its 10th WC of Cricket.
Truly “10dulkar”
=Tendulkar
Keep healthy-
1 apple/day - no doctor
1 egg/day - no cancer
1 lemon/day - no fat
1 cup of milk/day - no bone problems
3 ltrs water/day - no diseases
Aapki surat kitni pyaari hai,
Khuda ne ise khud apne hathon se sanwara hai,
Kisi aur se shadi na kar lena,
Kyonki-
Aaj tak Mayawati khud aapke liye kunwari hai……
Khafa ho ya koi gham hai,
Number kho gaya ki ya balance kam hai,
Bhejo SMS agar aap me dam hai,
Ya ye maan jao ki-
SMS ke KING sirf hum hain……
Pyaar unse karo jo nibhana jantein ho,
Gussa unse karo jo manana jante ho,
Aur-
Dosti unse karo jo-
Dil-o-jaan lutana jante ho….
1st behra- kya tum Mumbai ja rahe ho?
2nd behra- nahin.
Me to Mumbai ja ra hun.
1st behra- achha me samajha, tum Mumbai ja rahe ho……
Aap jaisa dost ho to koi gham nahin hota,
Dur rehne se pyaar kam nahin hota,
Waqt to waqt, bewaqt aa jate hain aankhon me aansu,
Kyonki-
Yaadon ka koi mausam nahin hota…..
Chand aur me,
Dono ka ek sa muqadar,
Wo falak pe tanha,
Me zamin pe tanha,
Wo roshni maange Suraj se,
Aur me bijli walon se……..
Trust is like a mirror,
Once-
You break it , you can never look at it the same again……
Pyaar-
Pyaar barish ki bundo ki tarah hai,
Jisko chune ki khwahish me hatheliyan to geeli ho jati hai,
Par hath hamesha khali hi rehta hai…..
Your SMS is part of my heart,
Your misscall is beat of my heart,
Your call is blood circulation of my heart,
So continue to contact me & keep active heart……..
My eyes are hurting, because I can’t see you
My arms are empty, because I can’t hold you
My lips are cold, because I can’t kiss you
But-
My heart is breaking, because I amn’t with you………..
Meri kabra pe wo rone aaye hain,
Humse pyaar karte hain, ye kehne aaye hain
Jab jindgi thi, tab rulaya bahut
Ab hum aaram se soye hain,
To fir se jagane aaye hain…….
Top Indian milk containers-
Aysha Takia- 4.5 ltr
Sania- 3 ltr
Mallika- 2.5 ltr
Bipasha- 2 ltr
Preity- 1.5 ltr
Aishwarya- 1 ltr
Kareena- sample pouch
Rakhi Sawant- family pack……
Hum hum hain,
Aap aap hain,
Naa aap kam hain,
Naa hum kam hain,
To kis baat ka gham hai,
SMS padhte rahiye,
Tabhi to lagega ki-
Mobile rekhne wale DABANGG hain….
Flowers are soft, don’t touch with hard hands
Similarly-
Feelings are like flowers,
Don’t touch them with hard words…..
Aapko yaad karna achchha lagta hai,
Bas aapko khone se dar lagta hai,
Kahin aankhon se dur na ho jayein aap,
Ab to raat ko sone se bhi dar lagta hai……
Ek ladka ladki dekhne gaya.
Bahut der se susu rok rakha tha.
Baad me ladki se bola- susu karne ki jagah dikhao.
Ladki sarmate hue boli- pehle tum dikhao…….
Lalu- vidhwaon ne kaha hasi ki Murkh aadmi ki biwi bahut sunder hoti hai.
Rawri- dhat.., aap ke paas to hamaar taarif ke alawa kauno kaam hi nahin hai…
Train station per ruki .
1 aadmi khidki ke paas baithe sardar se bola-
Kaun sa station hai?
Sardar bahar dekh kar bola-
Lagta hai Railway Station hai….
Mehkhane me jaam tut jata hai,
Ishq me deil tut jata hai,
Naa jane kya rishta hai in dono me,
Jam tute to ishq yaad ata hai,
Dil tute to jam yaad ata hai…….
Touch your heart.
Close your eyes.
Make a wish.
Say good night.
Sky so wide.
Stars so bright.
Off the light.
Sleep quite.
Shhhh.. gd n8.
Kid- dad, can be go Mcdonald?
Dad- only if you can spell Mcdonalds.
Kid- thought for a minute, said-
Can be go to KFC instead?....
Usne mujhse puchha- kya had hai teri mohabbat ki?
Maine kaha- mohabbat ki koi had nahin hoti.
Jo hadon me rah jayein,
Use mohabbat nahin hoti…….
Hakikat samajho ya afsana,
Apna samajho ya begana,
Mera tumhara rishta purana,
Isliye farz tha batana, ki-
Garmi suru ho chuki hai,
Please ab roz mat nahana…….
Munna- ae circuit, ye doctor log operation se pehle patient ko behosh kyon kerte hain?
Circuit- bhai, bole to patient operation sikh gaya to doctor kya karega…….
I am in you,
Sender- god,
I miss you,
Sender- devils,
I’ll cheat you,
Sender- lover,
I’ll be always with you forever………
“sometimes we maintain silence to protect one beautiful relation.
But too much silence creates a distance in every relations.
So keep in touch always.”
-prabhakar
Kabhi kerte hain jindgi ki tamanna,
Kabhi maut ka intezaar kerte hain,
Wo humse kyon dur rehte hain,
Jinhe hum jindgi se bhi jyaada pyaar kerte hain….
Chemical story-
All electrons were in a party.
Protons attacked them.
A hero saved them.
Electrons asked- who are you?
He said- bond,
Covelant bond…..
Tere laut aane ka intezaar kerte hain,
Dekh hum tumse kitna pyaar kerte hain,
Hum banate hain kagaj pe tasveer teri,
Fir tujhse baatein hum hazaar kerte hain…..
Friendship must be like eyes,
Because they move together,
They see together,
They sleep together,
But they never likes to see tears of each other…….
Jab se rutha hai dost mera,
Dil nahin kerta ab jine ko,
Sath le ke chala gaya khushiyan,
Bas de gaya aansu mujhe pine ko……
Tumne jis din se nigah feri thi,
Suni us din se duniya meri thi,
Mar ke bhi band naa huie aankhein meri,
Is kadar mujhko pyaas teri thi…
Apun ko yaad kerne ka,
Apun ko phon kerne ka,
Apun ko sms bhi kerne ka,
Nahin kiya to-
Darne ka nahi re baba,
Apun khud sms karega,
Bole to-
Gandhigiri…….
Keep healthy-
1 apple/day - no doctor
1 egg/day - no cancer
1 lemon/day - no fat
1 cup of milk/day - no bone problems
3 ltrs water/day - no diseases
Wo town hall ka sham,
Wo hospital road ka jam,
Wo nadi paar stadium ki masti,
Wo college ki sundar kasti,
Wo coaching ki phooljhadiyan,
Wo R.M.W. GIRLS COLLEGE ki kudiyan,
Wo VIJAY BAZAAR ki sadken-
Jahan kitne hi dil dhadkein,
Wo PRAJATANTRA CHOCK ka sabab,
Wo HOTEL POOJA ka samosa,
Wo CHILLI PARATHE ki yaadein,
Aaise hi kuchh hai humare-
“NAWADAH(BIHAR, INDIA- 805110)”
Ki baatein,
Hain na so sweet,
So welcome to-
“NAWADAH”…………
How many daughter cells are produced during meiosis?
Answer- 4.
What do enzymes do?
Answer- speed up or slow down the rate of reaction…
Nazare mile to use izhaar kehte hain,
Nind naa aaye to use pyaar kehte hain,
Smile de to use ikraar kehte hain,
Aur jo in jhamelon me naa pade –
Use samajhdaar kehte hain……
Pyaar maine bhi kiya aur usne bhi,
Bas fark sirf itna tha,
Ki maine usko pane ke liye kiya,
Aur-
Usne apna waqt bitane ke liye kiya……
Hassi aayi hume rone se pehle,
Use paaya tha kab khone se pehle,
Naa jaane ab raat kaise kategi meri,
Wo fir yaad aaye sone se pehle…….
Bewafa mera yaar nikala,
Aur-
Jhootha uska pyaar nikala,
Vaadein kiye the job hi usne,
Har vaada toota taar nikala….
Ek pyara sa koi sandesh bhej do,
Dosti ka sachcha updesh bhej do,
Agar dosti ka ek msg bhi na ho sake aapse,
To kisi kabadi ko apna mobile bech do…..
Raavan ki 20 aankhein thi,
Magar najar sirf ek aurat pe,
Jab ki aapki 2 aankhein hai,
Aur-
Najar har aurat pe, to asli raavan kaun?...
Sare msg ko madhya nazar rakhte hue INDIAN FRIENDSHIP COURT DHARA 143 ke tehat ye aadalat aapko sachcha dost mankar umar bhar dosti nibhane ka hukm deti hai……
Are you hungry?
Never mind I have 2 bowls.
1 for wishes and-
1 for luck.
Wishes are mine and-
Luck is your.
You can take it or leave it,
Choice is your……..
Everyone is good to us,
Untill we expect nothing from them,
And we are too good to them till we fulfill their expectations……
Night is a perfect time-
To pray
To love
To care
To smile
To relax
Enjoy the sleep
Gd n8.
Koi aapse baat kare,
Tarif kare,
Aapko smart kahe,
To aap use jor se 1 thappad marna,
Uski himmat kaise hui mere dost ko APRIL FOOL banane ki..
“1983 calender & 2011 calender are same.so, INDIA win the CRICKET WORLD CUP in both years.
1983’ Indian captan is KAPIL DEV. And 2011’ Indian captan is M.S. DHONI.”
“Mere bhaiya ke birth-year ke next year India ne 1983 me pehli world cup jeeti thi. And meri bhatiji(my elder brother’s daughter) ke birth year ke next year India ne again dusri baar world cup jeeti.”
-prabhakar.
Ladki sath ho to hotel bill
Ladki dur ho to phone bill
Aur-
Ladki dur hi ho jaye to
Daru ka bill
Isliye na lagao dil
Na aayega bill
Please save…..
“Never feel sad on losing anything in your life.
Because whenever a tree lose its leaf, a new leaf is ready to take its place.”
-prabhakar
Zakhm mera hai
Dard mujhko hota hai
Is zamane me kaun kiska hota hai
Unhe neend nahin aati hai, jo mohabbat karte hain
Jo dil ko todte hain
Wahi chain se sote hain….
Dharti per ishwar ki talash hai,
Malik tera banda kitna nirash hai,
Kyon khojta hai inshaan ishwar ko,
Jabki tere dusre roop me MAA-
Uske itne paas hai……
Define “TODAY”-----
T – this is an
O - opportunity to
D – do
A – a work, better than
Y – yesterday…..
Na jane kyon hame aansu bahana nahi aata,
Na jane kyon nahi hame hal-e-dil batana nahi aata,
Sab milkar bichad jate hain humse,
Shayad hume hi pyaar nibhana nahi aata……..
“ T he right temperature in a relationship is maintained by warm hearts, not by hot heads.”
-prabhakar
Santa – janu thanda cold drink peene ke baad kuchh karney ko dil chah raha hai.
Wife – (sharmate hue) karo jee.
Santa – BrrrRrrrRrrrRrrrRrrrRrr………
Maut mangte hain to jindgi khafa ho jati hai
Zehar lete hain to wo dawa ho jati hai
Kya karu-
Jisko bhi chahte hain, bewafa ho jati hai….
Samajh saka na koi mere dil ko,
Ye dil yun hi nadan reh gaya,
Mujhe koi gham nahi is baat ka,
Afsos hai ki –
Mera yaar bhi mujhse anjaan reh gaya…..
Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together..
Dil ka dard abhi jaari hai,
Aaj ka din bahut hi bhari hai,
Dil ka tutna koi nayi baat nahin,
Dosto-
Pehle girl-friend,
To aaj wife ki baari hai…..
Aaj dil puchh baitha apni hi tasvir se,
Tune kya paya hai apni takdir se,
Aapki tasvir dil ke aaine ko dikhayi,
Aur kaha-
Aisa dost paya hai duniya ki bheed se……
Wife- oh, jara dheere karo, rajdhani express kyon chala rahe ho, mal gadi chala.
Itne me beta bed se gira aur bola-
Sala jo marji chalao, par sawari ko to mat girao…..
Dua mile dosto se,
Saath mile aapno se,
Khushiyan mile jag se,
Daulat mile rab se,
Pyaar mile sab se,
Ye dua hai rab se ki-
Aap khush rahe hamesha sabse……
Ek kuwari ladki ki medical report galti se change ho gayi.
Doctor bola- you are preganent.
Ladki boli- ya khuda ab to apni ungli par bhi bharosa nahi raha……..
Uth kar dekhiye raat ka nazara,
Hawa bhi hai thandi,
Mausam bhi hai pyasa,
So gaya suraj, aur
Uth gaya har 1 tara,
Kabul ho aapko-
Salam-e-raat humara…
Zindgi dhalne lagi to gham na hoga,
Pyaar bichadne lage to gham na hoga,
Lekin ek uska vishwas jab dhokha dega,
To wo sadma meri mout se kam na hoga…….
A pair of powerful spectacles to cure a person in love….
About Sachin Tendulkar-
His jersey no. is 10.
Age 37 = 3+7=10
Height 5”5 =5+5=10
WC win date 2/4/2011 = 2+4+2+0+1+1=10
Win after 28 years 2+8=10
Also its 10th WC of Cricket.
Truly “10dulkar”
=Tendulkar
Har khushi me kuchh nami reh jayegi,
Aankhein thodi shabnami reh jayegi,
Jindgi ko aap kitna bhi sawarein,
Bin humare koi kami reh jayegi……
Dhokha diya hai apne hi yaar ne,
Jab hum the pagal uske pyaar me,
Ab gumsum baithe hain akele tanhayi me,
Khoon ke aansu rote hain uski judaai me…..
In disagreements with your loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past….
Is this success or failure---
I understood that she too fell in love with me, when she gave her marriage invitation to me with tears in her eyes…
Fiza per asar hawaon ka hota hai,
Mohabbat per asar adaon ka hota hai,
Koi aise hi kisi ka diwana nahin hota,
Kuchh to asar nigahon ka bhi hota hai…
Na wo sapna dekho, jo tut jaye
Na wo hath thamo, jo chhut jaye
Mat aane do kisi ko kareeb itna ki-
Uske dur jane se insaan khud se ruth jaye…
Arz kiya hai-
Muskurana to har ladki ki ada hai.
Wah wah.
Gaur farmayiyega-
Muskurana to har ladki ki ada hai
Use jo mohabbat samajhe,
Wo sabse bada gadha hai……
Look the bed is calling you,
See the dreams are waiting for you,
Listen the birds are silent for you,
Hear my heart says-
GOOD NIGHT for you…..
Lal rang ki chunri se saja maa ka darwar,
Harsit hua man,
Pulkit hua sansar,
Nanhe kadmo se maa aye aapke dwar,
Mubarak ho aapko Navratri or Chhath Pooja ka pawan tyohar……….
Ladki jab sare kapde utaar deti hai,
Toh kya hota hai?
?
?
?
?
Socho—
?
?
?
?
?
?
Almari khali ho jati hai.
God bless your mind……..
Dabangg style Indian team to Pak team-
Mohali mein itne chauke marenge ki confuse ho jaoge ki boundry pe khade ho ya border per…..
I would cross a thousand oceans just to hold you tight.
I had climb a thousand mountains just to be with you every single night…..
Aise kisi insaan ki duniya misal de,
Me usse dard mangu, to wo dil nikal ke de
Rab jane kiski dua mere sath hai,
Me dubna bhi chahu, to dariya uchhal de…..
Mohabbat ke anjaam ki perwah nahi karte,
Ae dost
Jo marte hai kisi ek par,
Wo bar bar dil ka sauda kiya nahi kerte…..
Foolo me khilo tum,
Foolo me jhulo tum,
Meri to yahi tamanna hai ki-
Mujhe na bhulo tum…
Bahut khubsurat hai ye dua humari,
Phoolon ki tarah mehkey ye jindgi tumhari,
Mujhe kya chahiye aur jindgi me,
Kabhi khatm na ho ye dosti humari…….
Mujhe gham ki
Raaton ki tanhayiyon me,
Wo masum chehra bahut yaad aaya,
Kisi ne bhi ponche na jab mere aanshu,
Tab uska dupatta bahut yaad aaya……
Kahin andhera kahin shaam hogi,
Meri her khushi aapke naam hogi,
Kuchh mang ke dekho humse,
Meri jaan bhi aapke naam hogi…..
Mujhse kaha ki tum na jaago sari raat,
Jo ho naseeb me wahi hoga tumhare sath,
Maine to maan li unki baat,
Par –
Pata nahi ab kyon nahi soti wo sari raat…….
Bahut kuchh hai dost dil ki ghahrayiyon me,
Tadap jata hai dil raat ki tanhayiyon me,
Dost to bahut hain kehne ko per-
Bada fark hai saayon me,
Aur parchayiyon me…
Ye phool, ye kaliyan, ye mousam sab kudrat ke hasin nazare hain,
Hum msg sirf unhe karte hain,
Jo hume apni jaan se pyaare hain……
Ye kaisa humara milan hai,
Jab bhar ke ek duje ko chhu nahin sakte,
Pyaar karte hain tumse beintaha,
Magar –
Tera dulha bankar tere ghar reh nahin sakte…
Chahat hai ki rab mila de aapse,
Ye aarzoo hai ki dor bandhi rahe aapse,
Bas ek baat ki umeed hai aapse,
Dil se dur na karna agar-
Hum dur bhi rahe aapse……..
To ,
The khas dost
In my heart,
Sub – I miss you a lot.
Oye,
I beg to say that, I am alone just having your memories, so kindly miss me so that I can get a Hichki.
Ladki sath ho to hotel bill,
Ladki dur ho to phone bill,
Aur-
Ladki dur hi ho jaye to-
Daru ka bill
Isliye na lagao dil,
Na aayega bill.
Please save….
In a cricket ground-
Security- cricket match is over now. Why are you still sitting?
Santa – oye yaar, I am waiting for highlights…….
Tamna thi uske salwar ka nara kholne ki,
Uski bra ka huk todne ki,
Uski panty ki lastic khichne ki,
Per dekho uski bewafai,
Sali nangi chali aayi…..
Combined study is meeting with lover.
Where all aspects of world will be discussed except studies…..
Pray that success will not come any faster than you are able to endure it.
-elbert hubbard
Dosti ki galiyon me koi gham na ho,
Humari ye dosti kabhi kam na ho,
Aapko mile har roj,
Nayi-nayi girl-friend-
Jinki umar 80 se kam ho…….
Wo din, din nahi
Wo raat, raat nahi
Jis pal teri yaad nahi
Mujhe tumse meri mout hi juda kar sakti hai,
Lekin shayad usme bhi itni aukat nahi….
Nighao me tasvir unki,
Hotho pe unka naam hai,
Har sanso me unka ehsas hai,
Itni chahat hai unke liye,
Fir bhi wo humari chahat se anjaan hain…
Yaad karke aapko jeeta hai koi,
Sanso me aapko mehsus kerta hai koi,
Mout to aani hai ek din,
Par aapse dur rehke har pal marta hai koi…
The best outcome of decriminalisation of BBSR Act 377.
.
.
Ab to saala bhi aadha ghar wala hai……
Ek lady doctor se- meri chut me makhi ghus gai.
Doctor- land per gud lagakar nikalta hun.
Doctor land dalkar chodne laga.
Doctor- under hi maarunga………
Always welcome your problems.
Because problems gives you dual advice—
One you can know how to solve it, and
Other how to avoid it in future……
Whatever we do,
We must remember our aim at every moment,
If you dream to fly with eagles,
Don’t waste time in swimming with ducks……
Chahat kisi ki gulam nahi hoti,
Mohabbat kabhi sare-aam nahi hoti,
Kaise bhul jaye tumhe sms kerna,
Kyonki humari service kabhi jaam nahi hoti….
Only two persons on this earth will be extremely happy.
One who gets everything in love,
And-
The one who does not know what is love……
Reh na paoge kabhi bhula ke dekh lo,
Yakin na ho to aazma ke dekh lo,
Har jagah mehsus hogi humari kami,
Apni mehfil ko kitna bhi saja ke dekh lo……
My eyes waiting for your face,
My ears waiting for your voice,
My lips ready to talk to you,
And
My mobile waiting for your sweet sms…..
Rajnikant was swimming in ocean. He felt thirsty & just drunk a sip of water.
Now the ocean is called-----
Sahara Desert.
Where is located the headquarters of Central Bee Research and Training Institute?
- Pune.
Kisi ne hume rulaya to kya bura kiya,
Dil ko dukhaya to kya bura kiya,
Hum to pehle se hi tanha the,
Kisine ehsas dilaya to kya bura kiya…..
Kisi mod pe hum tumko khone nahin denge,
Juda hona chaho to hone nahin denge,
Chandani raaton me aayegi meri yaad,
Meri yaad ke wo pal tumko sone nahin denge….
Wo aankh badi hi pyaari thi,
Jo usne humko mari thi,
Hum to muft me pit gaye,
Ae dost,
Hume kya pata tha ki-
Unko baba ramdev ki bimari thi…..
I wish,
I break my rib to make a pen,
Cut my skin to make a paper,
Take my blood to make an ink,
And
Write to you that-
“I LOVE YOU”.
Wada hai aapki dosti sada khas rahegi,
Yaadon ki jhalak dil ke pass rahegi,
Nahin bhulenge aapko aur apki dosti ko,
Jab tak is jism me akhiri saans rahegi…..
Shaam ko wo milne aayenge bhi,
Aur dowara aane ka wada bhi karenge,
Na samjhenge tumko bewafa,
Wo tumhari har baat ke aitbaar karenge….
Log apna banake chhod dete hain,
Rishta gairon se jod lete hain,
Hum to ek phool bhi na tod sake,
Log to dil bhi tod dete hain…..
Question:- wo kya cheez hai jo wife apne husband ko saari umar nahi lene deti?
Answer:- chain ki saans ke do pal..
Mayawati:- mujhe sab yaad karte hain, meri maa ko koi yaad nahin karta.
Secretary:- madem, U.P. me jab light jati hai, log aapki maa ko bhi yaad karte hain…
Taaron ki chadar,
Chand ka takiya,
Suhana ho mausam,
Aur –
Phoolon ki khatiya,
Sapno me ho kisi apno se batiya,
Aisi ho aapki aaj ki ratiya,
Subh raatri…..
Beautiful tomorrow never comes,
When it comes,
Its already today,
In the wait of beautiful tomorrow,
Don’t waste your wonderful today……
Subah ka mausam aur aapki yaad,
Halki si thandak aur chai(tea) ki taalash,
Yaara di yaari aur yaari di mithas,
Suru kijiye apna din-
Mere Good Morning ke saath……
When am defeated, I never wait for someone help me.
Because the world mayn’t show the correct person but my Mirror always does.
TRUST YOURSELF……
Jab bhi gali me chalo,
Nazare jhuka ke chalo,
Kyonki-
Aisa karne se na sirf aapki izzat barehgi,
Balki-
Gire hue kuchh paise milne
Ke chance bhi badh jayenge…..
Boss- tumne jis ladki ko secretary ki job par rakha hai, use to Grammar hi nahi aati.
Sonu- aap ne Grammar kaha tha. Me samajha Glamour kaha hai…
Nanhe se dil me arman koi rekhna,
Duniya ki bhid me pehchan koi rekhna,
Achchhe nahi lagte jab rehte ho udaas,
In hothon pe sada muskaan wahi rekhna…..
Aapse dur hum itna ho jaayenge,
In taaron me dekhna kahin kho jaayenge,
Aaj meri perwah nahi aapko,
Dekhna ek din had se jyada hum yaad aayenge…..
Mohabbat mujhe tha usise,
Yaadon me uski tadapta raha maut bhi,
Meri chahat ko rok na saki kabra bhi,
Kabra me bhi ye dil dhadakta raha…..
Kabhi pasand na aaye sath mera toh bata dena,
Hum dil pe patthar rakh ke-
Tumhe goli maar denge………
Tarasta hai dil teri sada ke liye,
Meri mohabbat teri wafa ke liye,
Hum aur kuchh nahin maangte tum se,
Bas naaak saaf kar lo khuda ke liye…….
Girl- its so cold here.
Boy- want my jacket?
Girl- no, I want you to wrap me in your arms.
Boy smile & said- “THARKI”….
Hum bhul jaayen use,
Aisi dil ki hasarat kahan,
Wo yaad kare humein,
Itni use fursat kahan,
Jinke chaaron taraf ho apno ka saath,
Unko ab hamari jarurat kahan…..
Gumon ki barasat samete baitha hun,
Kisi bewafa se dhoka khaye baitha hun,
Jaane kab dega uparwala maut mujhe,
Khuda ke bharose aas lagaye baitha hun….
I never expect you to remember me.
But I always drop my messages in your inbox to show-
“I still love to remember you.”
Santa- aaj mera beta 1st class me aaya.
Master- very good kis me aaya?
Santa- rajdhani express train me aaya…..
Santa- english me jhopadi ko kya kehte hain?
Banta- hut.
Santa- english aati nahin to, daant te kyon ho…
Jab girlfriend MSG kare to,
Kabhi ye mat socho ki-
Aapki girlfriend ne aapko kitna romantic msg bheja hai,
Hamesha ye socho ki-
Usko kisne bheja hoga?......
Jinko aaye na nibhane mohabbat,
Wo kya kisi ko abaad karenge,
Uth kar royenge raaton ko tab,
Jab pyaar mera wo yaad karenge….
Logon ke dilon me apna mukaam is tarah bana lo ki-
Mar jao to tumhare liye dua karen,
Or zinda ho to tumse milne ko tarsein….
A last ball six,
A last ball wicket,
A last minute goal,
A last minute move often wins the game,
That’s why we are still confident,
That a last day study can win an EXAM…..
Aansu aa jate hain rone se pehle,
Khwaw tut jate hain sone se pehle,
Log kehte hain mohabbat gunah hai,
Per kash koi rok leta ise hone se pehle….
Manzil ko jaate parindo,
Ko jo dekha,
To khyal aaya-
Koi muntazir hota to hum bhi,
Kab ke-
Laut gaye hote….
To,
The A.C.P.
Police Station
Sir,
My friend forgot to SMS me,
I kindly request you to take action
imediately & encounter the useless mobile……..
Hospital attendance----
Langda – present sir.
Kana- present sir.
Andha- present sir.
Mental-
Mental-
Beta SMS baad me padh liyo,
Teri absent lag jaayegi…….
Always try to spend few seconds for your friends even you are busy.
Because-
One day you can get free time but not your friends back…..
Kyon mera dil dukhate ho,
Kyon mujhse har baat chhupate ho,
Mera to dil hi tut gaya,
Ye sun kar ki-
Aap VIM BAR se nahate ho…..
Smile stops when we close lips,
Dreams end when we open eyes,
Love ends when we stop beliving,
But-
Friendship ends when we stop disturbing…..
Akbar- kal maine sapna dekha ki tum
Gobar me gir gaye ho, aur me shahad(honey) me.
Birbal- ji maharaj, fir me aapko chatne laga,
Aur aap mujhe…..
Santa ne challenge kiya---
“ki wo kutubminar ko sir pe rakh ke mumbai le jaayega”.
Saare news wale pahunch gaye,
Tab santa bola-
“bas koi utha ke mere sir pe rakh de”…..
Sudhakar - 3 bister kyon lagaye?
Prerana – ghar me 3 guest aane wale hain.
Sudhakar- kaun-kaun?
Prerana- nani ka beta,
Mummy ka bhai,
Aur mere mama.
Sudhakar- fir ek aur laga.
Prerana- kyon?
Sudhakar- mera sala bhi aayega….
Santa chupke se nark se swarg me ghusa.
Devtaon ne pakad ke khub mara.
Uske baad uth ke santa bola-
Salon, tumhari inhi harkato ke karan,
Koi bhi swarg nahi aata……..
Udasi bhi muskaaan ban jayegi,
Rukti huie saanse bhi jaan ban jayegi,
Bhej dijiye hawaon me apni khushboo,
Who hi humari khushi ka
Farman ban jayegi…
Hasaati hai koi mujhko,
Fir rula bhi deti hai,
Kar ke wo mujhse wadein,
Akshar bhula bhi deti hai,
Ajib mizaj hai uska,
Mohabbat bhi rakhti hai aur,
Nazron se gira bhi deti hai……
Santa office ja raha tha.
Biwi pyaar se boli- see you in the evening.
Santa gusse se-
Dhamki kise de rahi hai,
Me bhi dekh lunga tujhe…..
Dur hain aap, per milne ki aas hai,
Man ko har pal ek ehsaas hai,
Yun to hazaron hain aapke apne magar,
Aap kal bhi khaas the,
Aur
Aaj bhi khaas hain……
1 machchhar,
1 takle ke sar par ja baitha.
Dusra machchhar bola-
Waah kya ghar dhundha hai,.
Pehla machchhar bola-
Ghar kahan re, abhi to sirf PLOT kharida hai….
Santa- baju ke ghar se IODEX maang ke le aa.
Wife- wo log nahin denge.
Santa- haan, bade kanjus aur kaminey log hain,
Chal apni hi aalmari se nikal le…..
Santa- tum bhikh kyon mangte ho?
Hatte-katte ho kuchh kaam kyon nahin karte ho?
Bhikhari- sahab, kaam to tabhi karun
Jab fursat mile…….
Kabhi to dil udaas hota hai,
Halka sa aankhon ko ehsaas hota hai,
Chhalakte hian mere bhi aankhon se aansu,
Jab kisi se dur hone ka ehsaas hota hai…….
Tantrik – tumhare ghar pe bhootani ka saya hai.
Bhakt- marunga sale,
Agar meri biwi ke bare me kuchh kaha to…..
EGO-
It is a disease in which we have the tendency
To keep hurtin’ the person who cares for us…….
Friend book-
Name-
Pet name-
Hobby-
Birth date-
Favourite hero-
Favourite heroin-
About me-
Please reply me on……..
Beta- agar aapko pata chale ki me 1st division pass hua , to aapko kaisa lagega?
Papa- me to khushi se pagal ho jaaunga.
Beta- bas issi dar se me fail ho gaya….
Sharabi road pe pada tha.
Police- itni kyon pee hai bey?
Sharabi- mazburi thi.
Police- kya?
Sharabi- botal ka dhakkan gum ho gaya tha……
Badi koshish ke baad use bhula diya,
Uski yaadon ko sine se mita diya,
1 din uska khat aaya-
Mujhe bhul jao.
Aur
Bhula hua har lamha yaad dila diya……
Agar koi tumse pyaar ka izhaar karti hai,
Ye mat samajhna ki-
Wo tumpe marti hai.
Honge uske chahnewale bahut,
Wo time pass tumse,
Aur-
Love kisi aur se karti hai…..
Subah ka ujaala sada sath ho,
Har din har pal aapke liye khaas ho,
Dil se dua nikalti hai aapke liye,
Saari khushiyan aapke pass ho….
Search a beautiful heart but don’t ,
Search a beautiful face,
Beautiful thing,
Aren’t always good but-
Good things are always beautiful…..
Bahut chahti hai, per iqrar nahi karti
Wo pagal hai ya nadan,
Kyon izhar nahi karti,
English me kehti hai- “I LOVE YOU”
Aur-
Hindi me kehti hai-
“ME PYAAR NAHIN KARTI”….
Modern day break ups-
Girl- I wana break up.
Boy- why?
Girl- because you didn’t comment on my picture in facebook…..
Teacher- naade ko english me kya kehte hain?
Golu- P.H.D.
Teacher- kya matlab?
Golu- pajama holding divice….
Teacher- sabse jyada pagal koun log hote hain?
Sardar utha.
Teacher- shabbash bete batao.
Sardar- jaan se maar dunga,
Kisi ne sardaron ka naam liya to……
Mohabbat ke rashte me har waqt dard milega,
Mohabbat ke rashte me har waqt dard milega,
Meri mano,
Isi rashte par
Medical store khol lo,
Mast chalega……
I don’t promise you the moon,
I don’t promise you the star,
But if you promise to remember me,
I promise to be always there,
Thinking you on this day-
HAPPY PROMISE DAY….
Kehne ko shabd nahin hain,
Bhejne ko naye SMS nahin hain,
Per dil se ek baat kehte hain,
Apna khyal rekhna kyonki-
Mere pass aap jaise dusra dost nahin hain….
What is solar eclipse?
When rajnikant stares at the sun in anger & the sun hides behind the moon saying-
“MUMMY”.
This phenomena is called solar eclipse…
Mother teresa-
SKOPJE- capital of MACEDONIA. Mother Teresa birth-place.
Life is so unfair.
1st it gives us so much time to be together,
So we know each other,
And
When we know each other very well,
We have no time to be together….
Today (20 March, 2011) is “SUPER MOON” DAY.
Full Moon seen largest & nearest to Earth.
Happence once in 18 years.
Best time to see 03:30AM.(from Indian time)
Jo bhul huie use nahin doharayenge,
Kisi ko ab hum kabhi nahin satayenge,
Bhugat rahe hain kisi se dur hone ki sazaa,
Ab chah ke bhi kisi ko apna nahin banayenge….
Holi premacha rang,
Aanandach pani,
Yashachi udhalan aani
Samruddhichi pichkari..
HAPPY HOLI……
“if you are born poor, it is not your mistake; but if you die poor, it is your mistake…”
-prabhakar
Rakesh Sharma-
India’s 1st space man(5 April, 1984).
Dolly-
The 1st wholly Indian test tube baby( born on 7 Aug , 1986)……
I want to send my hearties wishes to the Special occasion of “HOLI” festival. Hope you enjoy and do lots of fun. HAPPY HOLI……..
“One thing I learned from life is that getting ‘UPSET’ willn’t help.
Always getting ‘UP’ to ‘SET’ the things right will become easier.”
-prabhakar
Mornings are refreshing like friendship,
It mayn’t stay all day long,
But-
For sure it comes forever everyday.
GOOD MORNING…….
I love you for your gentle hands ,that melt away my pain.
I love you for your loving heart, that made mine beat again…..
“If you can still SMILE when you are completely broken up,
Then there can be nothing that can break you next time.”
-prabhakar
Dekho ji,
Saaf kehna sukhi rehna.
Abhi msg kar diya hai,
Kyonki-
1 din baad paise katenge.
HAPPY HOLI in Advanced to you…..
Tyohar apni jagah hai,
Aur bill apni jagah..
Chintu naya naya Dabangg dekh kar aaya tha school me,
Sir- chintu, tumhare sare answers galat hain.
Marks de to kahan de?
Chintu- KAMAAL KARTE HO SIR JI, MARKS HI TO MANG RAHE HAI,
CHUP CHAP DE DO WARNA, THAPPAD MAR KE BHI LE SAKTE HAIN…
Sir- badtamiz.., kya bek raha hai?
Chintu- BADTAMIZ SE YAAD AAYA SIR JI, AAPKE PAPA KAISE HAIN?
SIR- gadhe, nikal ja class se.
Chintu- CHUP CHAP SE MARKS DE DO SIR, WARNA
ANSWER-PAPER ME ITNE CHHED KARUNGA ,
KI CONFUSE HO JAOGE KI-
MARKS KAHAN DE, AUR ZERO KAHAN……
“I wait for someone till I have patience.
Once my patience ends that someone has to wait for me forever.”
-prabhakar
Gam na karna kabhi jindgi me,
Kyonki taqdir badalti rehti hai,
Dil ka sheesha to wahi rehta hai,
Magar-
Bas tasveer badalti rehti hai…….
Aaj izhar bhi muskil hai us mohabbat ka,
Jispe hum kadam kadam kurban huye,
Ye waqt bhi kaisa waqt hai,
Jaan se hum bejaan hue……
“Our life begins with our cry,
Our life ends with other cry,
Try to utilize this gap & laugh as much as possible-
Stay HAPPY always….”
-prabhakar
Safar mohabbat ka chalta rahe,
Suraj har sham dhalta rahe,
Kabhi naa dhale apni Milan ki subah,
Chahe har rishta rang badalta rahe…
Gao ki gori bari hi bholi,
Bra utar kar bed per soli,
Ghaghra utar kar panty kholi,
Panty khol kar mujhse boli-
Nikal le banduk , chala de goli.
HAPPY HOLI…..
Fulon ke gandh me aap hain,
Pichkari ke rangon me aap hain,
In hasin wadiyon ke fizaon me aap ho,
Har ek ki sanso me base aap ho,
Har kisi ke dilon me rehte sirf aap ho,
Lekin aapke msg me harpal-
Sirf HUM-HI-HUM hai…..
“ sometime situation makes you to hate someone,
But don’t hate that person,
Just hate that situation.”
-prabhakar
Agar 2 doston ke biech kabhi ladai na ho,
And sab kuchh salon tak achchha chal raha ho,
To samajh lena ki-
1 dost dilse Dosti nibha raha hai & dusra dimag se…
“don’t worry if others don’t understand you.
Worry only if you can’t understand yourself.
Live life & love life.” -prabhakar
Heart received “LOVE”,
Mind received “KNOWLEDGE”,
Ear received “MUSIC”,
Eyes received “BEAUTY”,
But my Heart receive-------
“Your FRIENDSHIP”.
I KNOW YOU HATE ME,
BUT THE DAY-
WHEN YOU WILL KNOW THE “TRUTH”,
YOU WILL HATE YOURSELF….
Loving someone doesn’t need a reason,
If you can explain why you love someone,
Its called -------- LIKE,
If you cann’t explain,
Its simply called -------- LOVE….
Dard bhara Nagma hu, naa gungunana tum
Tuta khwab hu, mujhe bhul jana tum
Ye zakhm tere pyaar ki nishani hai
Bhulkar bhi in par Marham naa lagana tum….
Mere khwabon me aana aapka kasur tha,
Aapse dil lagana humara kasur tha,
Aap aaye the zindgi me pal – 2 – pal ke liye,
Aapko zindgi samajh lena humara kasur tha…..
Ek phool ajib tha,
Humare bhi bahut kareeb tha,
Jab hum chahne lage use khud se bhi jyada,
To pata chala ki wo humse bhi jyada kisi aur ke kareeb tha….
Khamoshi uski mujhpe barasti hai,
Meri har aah uska dard samajhti hai,
Malum hai ki majboor hai wo,
Phir bhi meri nazar uske didaar ko tarasti hai….
In which American city was the first MARDI GRAS Celebration held in 1827?
----- New Orleans..
High tech generation:----
A 21st century kid to another - I never want to have kids. Because they take 9 months to download…
Kya karunga uska intezaar karke,
Jab chali gayi wo mujhe barbaad karke,
Socha tha apna bhi ek jaha hoga,
Magar mili sirf tanhayi use pyaar karke….
Be talented in front of everyone,
But always be a fool in front of our dear ones,
It is a beautiful secret of Love….
Phool se pehle khushboo ko dekho,
Karne se pehle kaam ko dekho,
Kisi ke roop me diwana naa bano,
Surat se pehle uske dil ko dekho…….
Dard ne kisi ko tarpaya naa hota,
Aankho ne kisi ko rulaya naa hota,
Khushi hi khushi hoti har kisi ke pass,
Agar rab ne Ishq banaya naa hota…..
Maths teacher- agar tumhari dono pocket me 1000/- ho to kya sochoge?
Santa – me sochunga ki kahin maine Papa ki paint to nahin pahen liya hai….
Teacher- tumne home work kyon nahin kiya?
Deadly answer given by Sardar - sir, kyonki hum to “HOSTEL” me rehte hain….
Hum jaante hai ki aapko bhula nahin sakte,
Per chah kar bhi aapke pass aa nahin sakte,
Yahan tak aati hai mehak aapki,
Kya thodi si himmat karke aap NAHA nahin sakte…….
Faizaon ke badalane ka intezaar mat kar,
Aandhiyon ke rukne ka intezaar mat kar,
Pakad kisi ko aur faraar ho jaa,
Papa ki pasand karne tak ka intezaar mat kar…..
Kuchh lamhe aur uska sath chahta tha,
Aankhon me thami thi wo barsat chahta tha,
Janta hu bahut chahti thi wo magar,
Uski zubaan se ek baar izhaar chahta tha…..
Sardar ne apni girl friend ke kandhe pe hath rakha aur,
Bahut dhire se bola- I LOVE YOU.
Girl friend- jor se bolo.
Sardar- JAI MATA DI….
Santa ne nai ki dukaan kholi,
Banta shave karane aaya,
Santa- muchhein rakhni hai.
Banta – haa.
Santa – (muchhein kaat ker) le rakh le jahan rakhni hai…..
Ashiyane hum nahin sajate,
Baagon me phool hum nahin khilate,
Humari ek pasand se tut jaayenge hazaron dil,
Isiliye to hum koi “Girl-Friend” nahin banate….
World cup winners—
1975—West Indies
1979—West Indies
1983—India
1987—Australia
1992—Pakistan
1996—Sri Lanka
1999, 2003 & 2007 --- Australia
Tamam koshis ke babjud me har gaya,
Wo use mil gayi jisne use manga nahin,
Sabse punchha tere naa milne ka sabab,
Sabne kaha wo tere naseeb me hi nahin…
Ek lafz me kya tarif karun,
Aap lafzo me kaise samaoge,
Bas itna jan lo ke-
Jab dosti ke bare me puchhoge to,
Aankhon me aapka Cartoon Chehra nazar aayega…..
Intezaar to hum bhi kiya karte hain,
Aapse jaldi milne ka aas kiya karte hain,
Meri yaad hichkiyon ki mohtaaz nahin,
Hum to aapko sanso ke sath yaad kiya kerte hain…
Dosti karo to hamesha Muskura ke,
Kisi ko dhokha naa do Apna bana ke,
Kar lo yaad jab tak hum Zinda hain,
Phir naa kehna chale gaye Dil me yaad basa ke….
Har khamosh chehra SAD nahin hota,
Har insan BAD nahin hota,
Kaise kahun per ye such hai,
Har koi aapki tarah MAD nahin hota..
M – mera
A – achchha
D – dost..
Ho mubarak aapko ye suhani raat,
Mile khwabo me bhi khuda ka sath,
Khule jab aapki aankhein to,
Dhero khushiyan ho aapke sath…
Kyon yaad aati hai uski.,
Kyon palke bheeg jati hai meri,
Jahan jahan bhi gire mere Aansu,
Kyon Tasveer ban jaati hai uski……
Kaun kise dil me jagah deta hai,
Ped bhi sukhe patte gira deta hai,
Waaqif hain hum duniya ke riwazon se,
Dil bhar jata hai to har koi thukra deta hai…
Wife- agar me mar gayi, to tum dusri shaaadi karoge?
Santa – mere se ek hi galti hui hai, dubara nahin karunga…
Teacher- kaun sa parinda sab se tez udta hai?
Boy – hathi.
Teacher – nalayak, tera baap kya kerta hai?
Boy- Mumbai ke DON hain.
Teacher- shabbas, Hathi sahi jawab hai…
Bhakt- Bhagwan, mujhe dard de, dukh de, tension de, barbad kar de, mere pichhe har muskil laga de?
Bhagwan- abe sale, ek line me bol naa Girl-Friend chahiye….
Apsara Awards:-
Best Films- Dabangg,
Best Actor- Shahrukh Khan, Salman Khan, Hrithik Roushan
Best Actress- Katrina, Vidya, Anushka
Best Director- Kjo
Best Debut- Ranveer, Sonakshi
Bhikhari- a bhai 1 rupya dede 3 din se bhukha hu.
Pappu- 3 din se bhukha hai to 1 rupye ka kya karega?
Bhikhari- bazan dekhunga, kitna ghat gaya hai…
Mausam ko dekho kitna hasin hai,
Thandi hawa aur bheegi zamin hai,
Yaad aa rahi hai aapki kuchh baatein,
Aap bhi yaad kar rahe hongein itna yakin hai…
Mohabbat ko gunahgaar mat kerna,
Tum pyaar to kerna, magar izhaar naa kerna
Qurbani ka jazba tumhe virasat me mili hai,
Wo jaan agar mange to inkar naa kerna….
Who is the Managing Director of International Monetary Fund(IMF)?
- Dominique Strauss – Kahn
Santa- meri pasand ki ladki ne mujhse shaadi nahin ki.
Banta- tune use bataya nahin ki, tera chacha Crorepati hai.
Santa- bataya tha.
Banta- to kya hua?
Santa- ab wo meri chachi hai…
We never get , what we want
We never want, what we get
We never have, what we like
We never like, what we have
Still we live,
This is LIFE…..
Dil me yaadon ko liye hain,
Tum bin dost hum bahut akele hain,
Sab kuchh chod kar tumhe sms karte hain,
Dekho hum tumhe kitna miss karte hain….
Rishta banaya hai to nibhayenge
Har pal aapko hasayenge
Pata hai-
Aapko to fursat nahin yaad karne ki
Lo ab hum hi aapko apni yaad dilate hain..
English teacher- who killed the cat, begin this sentence with by.
Tintumon- by the by, who killed the cat?
A husband said to his wife- no, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law more than I like your.
1 mandir tha, jisme buri niyat wale log gayab ho jaate the.
Salman gaya – wo gayab
Hrithik gaya – wo gayab
Imran gaya – wo gayab
Mallika gayi – bhagwan gayab…
Log har mod pe ruk ruk ke samhalte kyon hain,
Itna darte hain to fir ghar se nikalte kyon hain,
Me na jugnu hu, na diya
Fir roshni wale mere naam se jalte kyon hain…
Dil se na puchho baki waqt kitna hai
Saanso se na puchho baki khel kitna hai
Puchho jalte hue murdo se ki-
Jindgi me gam,
Aur,
Kafan me chain kitna hai………
Apne dil ki duniya me usko bhula na sake,
Bahut koshish ki magar pa na sake,
Kisi aur ko bana liya usne apna,
Fir bhi aakhiri dam tak usko bhula na sake….
Tasvir teri aankhon me chupali hai maine,
Teri yaad apne dil me basa li hai maine,
Jeene ko to sabhi ji lete hain,
Tumhe apni saans bana li hai maine…
Biwi - dear, tum mujhe kitna pyaar karte ho?
Pati – main tumse itna pyaaar karta hu ki-
Tumhara jhutha zaher bhi pee sakta hun, aazma lena….
Sawere sawere ho khushiyon ka mela,
Na logon ki parwah, na duniya ka jhamela
Panchiyon ka sangeet ho, ya mausam albela
Mubarak ho apko aaj ka sawera…
Santa – koi lambi umar ka tareeka batayiye.
Doctor – shaadi kar lo.
Santa – kya isse umar lambi ho jayegi?
Doctor – nahin,, ye shauk khatm ho jayega..
Aaj ki bahut khubsurat aur pyaari baat-------
Khuda ne farmaya agar –
Maine tamam baatein takdir me likhi hoti,
To apne bando ko dua mangna na sikhata…..
Paani me pathar mat phenko, kyonki-
Use koi aur bhi pita hai,
Zindgi jine ke liye hai
Use muskura kar jiyo, kyonki-
Aapko dekh kar koi aur bhi jita hai…
Chuhe ko billi lagi gori,
Dono milne lage chori chori,
Chuha bola wo gori-
Aa Khelein aankh michauli,
Billi chuhe ko mar ke khayi aur boli---
I hate love story…..
Who is the secretary general of Saarc?
-dr. sheelkant sharma
TRAI- telecom regulatory authority of india
It is established by the government to regulate the tele communication business in india….
Banta – kyon ro raha hai?
Santa – meri murgi mar gayi.
Banta – mera baap mara par me to roya nahi.
Santa – tera baap kya ande deta tha…….
America me light jaye to power office me phone karte hai.
Japan me jaye to fuse check karte hai,
But India me jaye to pados ke ghar dekhte hai-
Sabki gayi na…..
Aap itne achchhe lagte ho,
Dil ko mere bhate ho,
Kasam se wo ada to aapki jaan le leti hai,
Jab jukhaam me aap
Naak se gubbara fulaate ho…..
Kyun Ishq duniya me bANaya mere khuda,
Ek pal chain na paye unke bina hum,
Marna bhi chahu to nikle na dam,
Ye kaisa rog lagaya mere khuda…
Aaina dekhogi to meri yaad aayegi,
Sath gujri wo mulakat yaad aayegi,
Pal bhar ke liye waqt thahar jayegi,
Jab aapko meri koi baat yaad aayengin…
Kaam karo aisa ki pehchaan ban jaye,
Har kadam aisa rakho ki nishan ban jaye,
Yaha jindgi to sabhi kaat lete hai,
Jindgi jiyo aise ki misal ban jaaye….
Sah liya har gam haste haste,
Ujad gaya ghar mera baste baste,
Ab wafa kare to kisse kare-
Wafa karne gaye to bewafa hi mili raste raste…….
Har koi tumsa khaas nahi hota,
Jo khaas hota hai, wo kabhi paas nahi hota
Yakin na aaye to chand ko hi dekho
Jisko dur hote hue bhi duri ke ehsas nahi hota….
1 jaise dost sare nahi hote,
Kuchh apne hokar bhi, humare nahi hote
Aap se dosti karne ke baad mehsus hua-
Kaun kehta hai ki jameen par taare nahi hote…
Aaye hai dard ki mehfil me bahane lekar,
Apne gumshum hothon pe tarana lekar,
Khuda salamat rakhe unko aaye
Hai jo mehfil me dil diwana lekar…
Santa ne pco pe jate hi pco wale ko 2 thappad laga diye.
Sochon kyon----
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Bcoz pco ke bahar likha tha dial karne ke pehle 2 lagaye……..
Todna hota to rishte na banate,
Umeed na hoti to sapane na sajate,
Aitbar kiya hai aapke pyaar par,
Bharosa na hota to dil ka hissa na banate…
Girl – mujhe kyon dukh de rahe ho?
Tumhari koi behan nahi hai kya?
Boy – hai, esiliye to dekh raha hun..
Girl – kyun?
Boy – meri behan ko BHABHI chahiye..
Ek operation ke baad Patient bola- doctor sab kya me ab rog se mukt hu?
Jawaw mila – beta doctor to niche reh gaye, me to Chitragupt hu…
Santa – hum sher ke bachche hain, kisi se nahi darte.
Lalu – bhaak burbak, sher tohare ghar pe aaya raha, ya tohare amma jungle gayi rahi…
Everybody love a ROSE, but nobody loves a leaf which adds beauty to Rose.
Love them who makes your life beautiful, not who is beautiful..
Plz yaaar bahut ho gaya.
Apni girl friend ko samajha lo.
Mujhe phone karke kehti hai.ki-
14 feb ko mere sath date pe chalna hai…
Tum kya jano, kya hai Tanhai?
Toote patto se pucho, kya hai Judaai?
Bewafa ka ilzam na de jalim,
Waqt se pucho, kis waqt teri yaad na aayi…..
Teacher – is bird ke pair dekho, aur iska naam batao.
Student – pata nahi.
Teacher – tum fail ho gaye ,apna naam batao.
Student – mere pair dekh kar mera naam bataiye?....
Biwi – kya baat hai aaj bahut dino baad mera photo khincha hai?
Husband - kuchh nahi mere sar pe ab Wild-life photography ka bhut sabar ho gaya hai….
When I walk alone,
I wish to reach the end of the road.
But when you walk with me,
I will pray the road never ends. Be with me forever…
Bhul jana use jo tumhe bhula de,
Mat dekhna use jo tumhe rula de,
Par kabhi na hona dur us saqs se,
Jo apni aankhein bingo ker bhi tumhe hansaa de…
Santa ke pita USA se aaye.
Pita – teri maa kahan hai?
Santa – wo to mar gayi.
Pita - sale tune mujhe bataya kyon nahi?
Santa – maine socha aapko surprise dunga…
Har dil ka koi armaan hota hai,
Jo na samajhe wo nadaan hota hai.
Dil jise har pal yaad karta hai,
Wo dil ke dard se anjan hota hai…
Santa class me 1 gadha lekar aaya.
Teacher – ise kyon laye ho?
Santa – aapne hi to kaha tha, ki aapne kayi gadho ko insaan banaya hai, ab banao….
Kyon banaya mujhko ae banane wale,
Bahut gham dete hain ye zamane wale,
Maine aag ke ujaale me kuchh chehro ko dekha,
Humare apne hi the mere ghar ko jalane wale…..
Ladka – teer pe teer,
Talwar pe talwar,
Karti hai pyaar to utar de salwar.
Ladki – teer pe teer,
Talwar pe talwar,
Tere lund me hai dhar to chir de salwar…..
Phul gir sakte hai, par khushbu nahi
Chand dub sakta, par tare nahi
Nadi sukh sakti hai, par sagar nahi
Aapko duniya bhul sakti hai, par hum nahi…..
Kuchh ajib faslon ka janam ho raha hai,
Nasib mera jag kar bhi so raha hai,
Kaise keh du tuta dil dhadkta nahi,
Jabki dil ka har tukra ro raha hai…
Taras jaaoge 1 ada ke liye,
Behak jaaoge 1 nazar ke liye,
Na karo pyaaar me bewafai kabhi,
Barna jindgi bhar tadpoge kisi ke wafa ke liye….
